Long Night
by kruemi
Summary: This story starts like the end of part 1 of Moment of Truth, but things change considerably when Cloud Dancing's stitches don't break...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: _I do not own the characters who act in this story; I only borrowed them from Beth Sullivan, CBS and whoever else is holding the rights on them._**

_This story begins close to the end of Moment of Truth, part1. I always wondered what would have happened if Cloud Dancing stitches hadn't broken... What if there hadn't been a fall from the cliff? _

**Long Night**

by Kruemi

Chapter 1

Dr. Michaela Quinn rode out of town on full speed. It wasn't a medical emergency though that urged her on; she was driven by a thought so terrifying that she recoiled from it. Her heart simply refused to acknowledge what her mind had already concluded.

She'd believed Sully when he told her that the horses on their pasture were Robert E.'s, but they obviously weren't. A few minutes ago, the blacksmith's facial expression had betrayed that her husband had lied to her about that.

And now he'd bought blasting powder. She didn't dare guess what Sully needed it for. Not for knocking out a tree stump at Preston's building site as he'd told Loren. That she was certain of since Sully didn't work for the banker anymore, which he had kept to himself until she'd found out by accident the day before. However, try as she might, she couldn't stop her mind from working. She feared that there was only one explanation for her husband's behavior.

Her suspicion turned into open worry when she arrived at the homestead and all the horses were gone. Frantically looking around she considered what to do next. Deep down inside though she knew where Sully had taken the horses, and without giving it a second thought she took off again.

On her way she reproached herself. She had felt Sully's growing distant for a while now, and she should have insisted that he talk to her. But she'd thought it would be best to leave him alone. When he was troubled it usually helped him find his balance again. However, she should have changed her mind after their conversation in the yard last night. She'd told him that all she wanted for Cloud Dancing and him was to survive.

"But at what price?" he had uttered, and from that moment on the dreadful feeling of foreboding had never left her.

_At what price_… The words continued to reverberate through her mind as she urged her Indian pony Flash forwards. There was only one place Sully was drawn to. Fear squeezed her heart, throwing it even harder against her ribs as she heard gunfire coming from the direction of the reservation.

What had Sully done?

xxx

The soldiers were still fighting with some Indians and shooting after those that were fleeing as Michaela eventually rode into the small valley. Horrified, she took in the chaos that met her eyes. Most of the shacks were burning; several army tents had been torn down and all over the area lay injured and dead people between overturned wagons and debris.

As eventually the last Indians started to scatter, running off towards the hills and the shooting subsided, the soldiers came out from their covers and began chasing after the fugitives, following them into the woods whilst others started tending to the wounded.

Michaela, still on her horse, looked around beside herself with worry, searching the ruins hoping to spot her husband but fearing it all the same. There was no way to describe the shock she felt, and it took a minute before she could move again and dismount Flash. However, her feet had barely touched the ground when Sergeant McKay's voice startled her.

"Sully's gone," he shouted at her, his voice hoarse with wrath. "I saw him."

As he closed the distance between them, he continued, "He was right in the middle of it. Probably started the whole thing. And when I find him, he's gonna pay for it."

With that he passed her, not giving her another look, and Michaela knew his last words were a promise he would keep. Not able yet to judge all the consequences, she had but one choice: cling to the word _probably_ the sergeant had used. Although she had all the facts that told her to drop any hope, she didn't want to believe that Sully had intentionally started an uprising. He wasn't a man who approved of violence, and he must have known that if he started a revolt people would get hurt.

The last thought, however, snapped Michaela out of the prison of her terrified thoughts. The noise of barked commands and cries of pain reached her consciousness, putting her into action. Taking her medical bag from Flash's saddle, she already made a mental list of how to organize her tending to the many wounded.

xxx

Michaela took care of the victims as long as her medical supplies lasted, promised to send Dr. Cook for the minor cases that were still untreated and then left the reservation. All she could think about on her way to the homestead was that she needed to find Sully. Cloud Dancing hadn't been in his shack anymore, and the Cheyenne was in no condition to go anywhere. The thought that he and her husband would leave the country didn't even occur to her, and that was why she contemplated how to find the men and decided to start with her search in the hills close to the reservation after she had seen the children.

"Colleen, Brian," she called as she was approaching her home.

Alarmed by their mother's tone, the siblings instantly appeared on the porch.

"Ma? What's wrong?" Colleen wondered as she rushed down the few wooden steps, her little brother on her heels.

Yet Michaela didn't respond. Tying Flash to the railing she asked in an urgent tone, "Has Sully come by the house?"

He hadn't, and Michaela's anxiety grew. She knew it was to be seen on her face, but at the moment she didn't care. She told the children that there had been some trouble at the reservation, asked Brian to inform Andrew that his professional help was needed there and her daughter to go with her to town.

Of course the children wanted to get more information yet before she could answer any questions Sergeant McKay, accompanied by two soldiers, rode into the yard.

"Dr. Quinn! I wanna know where Sully is takin' the Indians," he called, not bothering to dismount his horse as he reached the family.

Michaela's mind raced. What should she do? The children looked at her aghast not only because of this news but also because the sergeant's tone implied he took it for granted that she knew the answer to his question.

"Just how much do you know all about this?" his voice, softer now, cut into her thoughts.

"I don't know anything." She could honestly say that and even lock eyes with McKay.

Yet for him, her response was an affirmation. Straightening on his horse he concluded, "So he was behind it, wasn't he?"

Realizing her mistake, Michaela's gaze grew almost defiant, and it became harder to look into the sergeant's eyes when he continued asking, "Was he the one who set off the explosion?"

Michaela hadn't known about that yet, but Sully's buying blasting powder made sense now, and she began to understand that the situation might be even more desperate than she already feared.

At this thought, her instinct to protect her family kicked in, and when McKay asked whether it had been Sully who got the horses for the Indians, her answer came promptly despite the lie, "As I said before, I don't know anything."

The sergeant gave her a hard look before he gestured to his men to follow him and rode off, frustrated. The trace of disappointment in his last glance at her would normally have made Michaela blush in embarrassment but she had no time for this kind of feelings. Now more than ever she needed to find Sully.

She wasn't able to start with her search right away though. Once arrived in town, she talked briefly to Dorothy who grew frantic once she learned the news about the uprising, yet then Sergeant McKay's arrival with five captured Indians in tow distracted them. Not only did this sight disturb Michaela deeply but also her worrying increased. How long would Sully and Cloud Dancing, who was still very weak, be able to hide from the army?

Things went further downhill when Matthew as the town sheriff became involved. He had no choice but allow for the army to put the captured Indians in his jail, and to make things more complicated McKay ordered him to look for Sully who was a wanted man now. Michaela's eyes filled with tears when she saw the deep disappointment and frustration on her oldest son's face as he absorbed this: Once again he was forced to arrest the man who was not only a father to his siblings but his friend as well.

Rock bottom wasn't reached yet. When Michaela thought it couldn't get any worse, she was proven wrong: with the army reinforcement arriving in town, O'Connor was back. Not only that – he was in charge. His tone didn't indicate the menace behind his words yet the words he chose to greet her did.

"It's good to see ya again, Mrs. Sully," he said, and Michaela understood the message: the sergeant wouldn't see her as the respected town's doctor but only as the wife of the man he would hunt down mercilessly.

xxx

The day had been dreadful and long yet dusk came still too soon for Michaela's liking. After seeking out two of Sully's lean-tos, both obviously untouched for quite a while, night began to fall, and all she could do was return to the homestead. While passing a few groups of soldiers on her way she held onto a tiny hope that she might find Sully and Cloud Dancing in their barn like she had a couple of years ago, after the medicine man was shot by bounty hunters. However, once she arrived home she found no trace of them.

With her heart heavy, she at last climbed up the steps to the porch and had barely opened the entrance when Brian rushed towards her.

"Did you find him?" The anguish-filled eyes of her twelve-year-old son begged her to say yes, but she couldn't.

Thus she only shook her head. Laying her arm around his shoulders she gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry, Brian," she said quietly as she released him and took off her coat, putting it on the hook next to the door. "I will look for Sully and Cloud Dancing in the morning again," she continued, tiredly running her hand over her face before she turned back to the table.

"Katie's sound asleep, and I'll take care of her when you are away," Colleen chimed in, balancing a plate with Michaela's dinner on her palm and carrying a mug with tea in her other hand as she joined her brother and mother in the living room. As she put the meal onto the table, she asked, "What would you like us to do after breakfast? We want to help."

"Yeah," Brian eagerly nodded in affirmation.

Michaela slowly sat down, considering her children's request. Eventually she looked up, meeting their anxious gazes. "I think it is best when you two just do what you'd planned for tomorrow. I don't believe that Sully is too far away from town because Cloud Dancing is in no shape to go anywhere. Once I found them I will be back and then we'll decide how to go on. Alright?"

After glancing at each other, Colleen and Brian eventually agreed, if only reluctantly. The main reason for their giving in was the sheer exhaustion evident on their mother's face. They simply didn't want to add to it.

Only when she was alone in her bedroom did Michaela allow herself to mull the situation over again in order to come to a decision where to start with her search right after dawn. Lying on her back under the cover that she normally shared with her husband, she stared at the ceiling. Sully had been away at nights before but never had their bed seemed to be so empty. She'd always known where he was and when he'd return.

At this thought she sat up again. Sully had planned his actions. She knew it because he'd gathered horses for several days. But when he hadn't acted spontaneously, he sure had left her a clue where he would head so she could continue looking after the medicine man.

She re-lit the oil lamp next to her bed and then shifted. Hugging her legs she rested her chin on her knees.

"Think, Michaela, think!" she whispered to herself.

Then she had it: Sully must have written a note. Determined to find it right away, she threw back the quilt and rose to her feet. For a moment, she just stood in the middle of the room, contemplating where he had put it. The natural place for her to find a sheet of paper or letter was her nightstand, yet its top was empty. Thus she looked into its drawer, but to no avail. The place before her mirror was empty too, and increasing nervousness made her stop thinking clearly. Her search became random as she lifted her pillow to look beneath it, opened the wardrobe, pulled out every single drawer and even looked into Katie's bed.

Nothing.

Although she was certain that she wouldn't find anything in the living room or kitchen because then the children would have seen it and told her, she still went downstairs.

An hour later she knew she had been looking for a message that had never been written.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Michaela wasn't the only one who tossed and turned that night. Brian did, too.

Although his ma had tried to reassure them that everything would be alright, he wasn't convinced. Not this time.

Some of Sully's actions had worried him before, but usually his ma was able to ease his mind. Only a few months ago Sully had helped a Mexican flee from the reservation, and Dr. Mike ended up in jail because she'd treated the injured man. Back then she had explained that sometimes, when you don't agree with the law, you have to make a decision to still do what you think is right and then pay the price. What would be the price this time?

Brian pushed his pillow into a more comfortable form for his head to rest on yet it didn't stop his mind from wandering. Why didn't Dr. Mike know where Sully was? Had he left their family? Like his real pa? Was it partly his fault? Because he'd rebelled against Sully, told him that he was unfair to him?

Unanswered questions continued tormenting him, preventing him from drifting off. He heard his ma leaving her bedroom, and he heard when she returned quite a while later. He watched the moonlight move slowly along the wall across from him, and he heard the first birds beginning their day with excited chirping. For some reason this finally calmed him, and eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.

When Brian came downstairs for breakfast in the morning, Dr. Mike was already gone but Colleen was there. Sitting at the kitchen table she smiled at Katie in her high chair as she encouraged her to eat.

It was now or never, he thought, and as he took his seat next to his big sister, putting his bowl of cereal before him, he glanced at her and finally dared to ask, "What if Ma can't find him?"

After an almost imperceptible pause he added what truly frightened him, "What if Sully doesn't wanna be found?"

Instantly, the smile dropped from Colleen's face, yet she was still focused on their baby sister when she replied, gently scolding, "Don't say that, Brian."

Yet since he had started voicing his fears, he at last found the courage to tell her his worst one, "What if he never comes back?"

Only now did Colleen turn to her little brother. Seeing his anxious face she reached over, laying her hand on his shoulder as she assured despite her own doubts, "Don't worry Brian, he'll be back."

She had barely finished speaking when suddenly the entrance burst open, banging against the wall.

Simultaneously, the siblings rose to their feet, watching wide-eyed as Sergeant O'Connor and two soldiers barged in.

"Search the house. Every room," O'Connor quietly ordered his men whilst he took in his surroundings. Without even looking at it he tipped over the shelves next to him so they crashed on the floor with all the tins that had been standing there. The noise made the children jump yet the sergeant didn't seem to notice.

"Where is your ma?" he asked, at last looking at them.

Although his heart raced from the sudden attack, Brian instantly slipped into the role of the man in the house.

"You can't come in here!" he said with a bravery he didn't feel, glaring at the officer.

Unfazed by the boy's outburst, O'Connor repeated his question, his tone still threateningly quiet, "Where is she?"

Somewhat recovered from the shock, Colleen spoke up whilst she lifted Katie from the high chair into her arms.

"She went to look in on some patients," she gave a quick explanation, clutching the little girl to her chest.

O'Connor didn't respond to this but eyed the dinnerware on the shelf at the wall behind the children. Casually, he took down two plates and, without a warning, banged them together, smashing them to pieces.

Again Colleen and Brian jumped, and Katie, who had been quiet until this moment, started to wail.

More angry than afraid now Brian demanded, "What do you want?"

"Just looking for clues, son," O'Connor replied, his voice still even and quiet as if he was telling the time. He didn't stop roaming the room with his eyes when something outside of the window caught his attention: The doctor was riding toward the house and he still hadn't gotten any information.

"When was the last time you talked to Sully?" he asked, still following Michaela with his gaze.

Brian glanced at Colleen, insecure about how to reply yet his sister signaled him to stay silent. To both their relief, they now heard the approaching hoofbeats too, and the sergeant turned to leave the house.

For the moment, Michaela's children were off the hook.

xxx

Michaela couldn't tell whether she was frustrated, angry or simply horrified. There was an unreal feeling about her situation that made her want to pinch herself so she would wake up from this nightmare. Every passing hour of this day had assailed her with new worries, doubts and fears. It had started in the early morning when she searched the rest of Sully's lean-tos in vain, and it grew worse when she returned to the homestead in order to make sure the children were alright but found O'Connor there. He hadn't only frightened them but ransacked the house as well. In addition, he threatened her after she insisted that she didn't know anything.

"You'd better not know. 'Cause if I find out you're hidin' anythin' from me, I'll make sure you spend the rest of your life in jail," he'd hissed at her, and she just couldn't forget the look of pure hatred on his face. There was no doubt that he would stay to his word. If she hadn't missed the short evil smile that crossed O'Connor's face for a split second as he turned to his horse, she would have feared the things to come still more than she already did.

Yet what she learned next was disturbing enough: the Indians had burned down Matthew's homestead. When her oldest broached this news, she was just behind the house, already on her way to search for Sully again. For a moment she'd been torn and considered joining the children, but her urge to find her husband was stronger for she desperately needed to know what was going on.

Thus she had ridden out again, looking at all the places Sully had shown her. There was no sign that any of them had been approached lately. Even the Secret Cave, where the children once hid him from the army so he could heal from a gunshot, was empty. Actually, she'd really hoped to find the men there because it would have been the perfect place for Cloud Dancing to recover: it was not too close to town but not too far away either; big enough to be comfortable and even dry.

After this last disappointment she had only one destination left: Sully's mountain. Of course she was aware of the fact that Cloud Dancing wasn't able to climb it, but maybe she would find a clue there.

Already on her way up she could tell that no feet had hit the trail for quite a while, but she still continued. It was hope against hope that drove her on and the knowledge that she would always wonder when she didn't see with her own eyes that Sully's special place was abandoned. After all, there could be another path that led to the top.

Soon enough she knew that if there actually was one it hadn't been used. The small plain area was scattered with rocks of all seizes yet empty of any living soul but hers when she had finally reached her destination.

This was another time of the year and another time of the day from when she'd been here before, but the view was as breathtakingly beautiful as Michaela remembered it. She couldn't appreciate it though. Her mind simply wouldn't stop working although she'd done her best to suppress any unwelcome thoughts. Now they at last surfaced, swirling around in her head until they formed one line, the only possible conclusion: _Sully didn't want her to find him_.

This realization numbed her feet, spreading cold through her whole body. Shivering, she pressed her crossed arms against her chest bending forward slightly as if the storm of her thoughts was a physical assault by a violent gust of wind. For a moment she considered allowing for the despair she felt to take over, yet she wasn't ready to give up yet. There had to be something she'd simply missed.

She needed more information, and she already had an idea who would provide it. She hadn't forgotten Robert E.'s expression when he suggested for her to ask Sully about his plans. Obviously, he knew them, too.

As devastating as Sully's hiding from her was, she now had a new purpose and with that some of her energy returned. She needed to talk to Robert E. so she could decide what to do next.

xxx

It was still at least three hours till dusk but Sully decided to already search for a place for the night. Cloud Dancing was in obvious pain but of course he didn't say one word. Actually, he'd never asked for a break all day. Only when Sully suggested a pause would the Cheyenne agree, otherwise he sat stoically on his horse, trying to keep his balance. When they'd started in the morning it had seemed for a moment he wouldn't be able to ride at all, but somehow they'd managed to put thirty miles between them and the reservation. They were in the woods west of Castle Rock now, where only a few settlers lived in the valley and no fort was around.

They should be safe for this night.

Safety was what came first. If that meant they would only make thirty miles a day, so be it. There was no need to rush. Michaela had said that Cloud Dancing needed enough rest to heal, and since he hadn't anything else to offer to his brother, Sully stopped at a small clearing that looked appropriate for their purpose. He could hear the water of a creek nearby; the brushes were thick and the trees high. No one would find them here.

Sully had no idea that they had been watched all the time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was already early in the evening when Michaela arrived back to town, and since she had promised the children she'd be home before nightfall she was in a hurry. Yet despite this, she wasn't able to ignore a group of discussing people standing before the jail, their grim faces boding ill. Once she was close enough to see she gasped, automatically pulling the rein for Flash to halt. The picture unfolding before her eyes spoke a clear language: The Indians hadn't escaped from jail silently; they'd forced their way out by blowing up half of the small structure.

Matthew hadn't only lost his homestead but the sheriff office, too.

Michaela didn't dare imagine how hard this was on him. The way of his young life seemed to be lined with losses.

She was already about to turn around when the hushed conversations subsided and Matthew appeared in what had once been the door frame. The way he scrutinized the debris lying around revealed that he was taking stock of the destruction.

Seeing him, people quickly dispersed, minding their own businesses again. Michaela, however, didn't budge. Sensing someone's presence, Matthew looked up. The moment he realized it was her, his expression changed. Although he instantly masked it by taking off his hat and wiping his brow with his forearm, she still saw the flash of anger crossing his face. Her heart sunk; her son blamed her for what had happened as much as he did Sully.

"Matthew," she said, hoping he'd look at her again. She didn't want to defend herself for she _did_ feel guilty. All she wanted was for Matthew to know that she would be there for him. He didn't comply though and continued avoiding her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she eventually said, acknowledging that he had every right to be angry. She still hesitated a minute, and only when she pulled the rein for Flash to move, Matthew met her eyes.

Michaela didn't know what was worse – the new pain she detected in them or the still lingering frustration form the day before about Sully's actions. Her son's material losses were severe but they might be replaced one day. The testing of his loyalty though, the decision he had to make between being a good sheriff and the wish to help his family was far harder to take.

With a short shake of his head he indicated that he wasn't ready to talk and resumed his searching the ground for things he could still use.

Sighing, Michaela at last steered Flash around the corner to the livery. A couple of soldiers standing in front of the bank were watching her, and she realized that she couldn't just confront Robert E. for that might look suspicious. Her mind worked quickly, and when she dismounted and led her horse over to the workbench, she already knew what to do.

Standing with his back to her and hammering a nail in a board, the blacksmith hadn't noticed her yet.

"I could use your help," Michaela said softly, not wanting for him to jump.

He did it anyway. Jolting around he stared at her briefly before his gaze shifted towards the soldiers who were observing them.

"Dr. Mike," he said, his tone pleading. He'd feared all day that someone would come and ask him about the horses he had provided for Sully.

Michaela, however, pointed at Flash's right forehand. "She was limping earlier," she made up. "Could you please take a look if she has run something into her hoof?"

Getting the message, Robert E. bent down picking up the pony's leg whilst Michaela stroked Flash's flank. Turning so she was with her back to the watching soldiers she kept her voice low when she demanded, "You have to tell me about Sully's intentions."

Robert E. swallowed hard. He didn't respond because he wasn't sure what Sully would want him to do. Obviously his friend hadn't told his wife, so who was he to do it?

Sensing his thoughts, Michaela pressed, "Imagine it the other way around, that Grace had suddenly vanished and you were sure I knew something about it. Would you want me to keep the truth from you?"

Robert E. didn't look up but continued poking around in Flash's hoof as he eventually gave in.

"All I know," he said, still averting his eyes, "is that Sully wanted to help the Indians escape from the reservation."

Gently putting down the horse's leg he moved to the hind leg, lifting it in order to look at its hoof as well. Michaela on her part stood perfectly still, trying to breathe through the blow. Deep down she had known it; actually there wasn't another explanation for Sully's behavior but she'd still nursed some hope that the situation wasn't so grave.

"That's treason," she whispered horrified.

"I told him so," agreed Robert E., tending to the other hind leg now. "But he said he knew that."

Something inside of Michaela broke.

_But at what price_ had Sully said when she told him that she wanted for him to survive. Now she knew he'd die rather than continue the life they'd built together.

Without a warning, an overwhelming anger rose inside of her and Robert E. was the only one she could lash out at.

"And you still helped him?" It was an accusation rather than a question.

"Men like Sully began a war so I can be a free man now," Robert E. retorted calmly, examining the fourth hoof. "The Indians deserve freedom as much as I do. How could I deny Sully my help?"

As suddenly as it had come, Michaela's anger subsided. She was only tired now and wanted to see her children.

"At least you could have warned me," she said quietly before she raised her voice for the soldiers to hear. "So the hooves are alright?" she asked fishing in her coat pocket for a coin.

As she offered it to Robert E. he shook his head. Speaking with normal volume now as well he refused the money, "I just did a friend a favor."

For a moment they locked eyes, and Michaela understood the ambiguity. Accepting this with a small nod she gripped the saddle horn and put her foot on the stirrup, pulling herself up. In the middle of her move she murmured, only audible for Robert E., "Don't tell the army or anyone else that you knew. No need to get your family involved, too."

Before he could reply, she was already on her way down the street.

Passing the Café on her way to the clinic, Michaela craned her neck, hoping to find her children having supper. They weren't there, but she spotted Dorothy at a table close to the back front of the Gazette. Something about her posture compelled Michaela to stop, and despite her own sorrows she took the time and approached her friend after leaving Flash tied to the fence.

Sitting down next to her Michaela asked tentatively, "Dorothy?"

It was as if the red-haired woman had only waited for someone to talk to her. Looking up from her tensely clasped hands in her lap she said quietly, in a tone that showed both, disbelief and pain, "I burned my book."

Taken aback, Michaela only stared at her for a minute. "Why would you do that?" she eventually wondered incredulously.

"Sergeant O'Connor came to the Gazette and asked me all kind of questions. He wasn't satisfied with my answers and so he ordered three soldiers to search my office," Dorothy explained.

Still not comprehending, Michaela waited for more.

After casting a quick look around in order to see whether anyone paid attention to them, Dorothy bent closer. "Cloud Dancin' once told me that if he could ever live outside the reservation again, he'd wanna go north, to join the other Cheyenne in the Tongue-River-Valley," she elaborated in a hushed tone. "I wrote it in my book, and I couldn't let the soldiers see that. Who knows what else in there they could use against him?"

Straightening again she made sure once more that no one was overhearing them. When no one did, she added, "The only way to keep my knowledge from the army was to destroy my book."

Resigning, Dorothy withdrew into herself again, not noticing the change in Michaela's expression.

"I'm so sorry," Michaela offered the second time within the last hour, and she briefly wondered how often she would still have to apologize for the aftermath of Sully's actions.

Although it was apparent that her friend didn't want to continue the conversation Michaela didn't leave yet. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she simply couldn't move. All pieces of information she had gathered had just fallen into place. Without doubt she knew now that Sully was taking Cloud Dancing to the Northern Cheyenne territory, and since he'd deliberately committed treason, which, as he very well knew, carried the death penalty, he would stay there, too.

Her husband had left the family.

xxx

Sitting at the supper table, Colleen and Brian exchanged a worried glance. They had already seen Dr. Mike staring at her food with unseeing eyes some time ago: after she'd returned from Washita. They couldn't do anything for her back then, and they were even more at a loss of what to do this time because neither Sully nor Cloud Dancing were around to help.

To make things worse, Matthew had refused the offer to live with them until he had his own place again. They had been there when their ma had asked their brother to stay with them when they'd stopped at his office before they headed home. Matthew had said he couldn't do that.

Brian didn't understand what was going on between the adults. His brother hadn't been able to look at their ma when she talked to him. Did that mean that he was angry with her? While Colleen was eating again, he still sat with his fork poised over his food, looking at the woman who had given him a loving home after his real ma had died. Now, he decided, it was his turn to help.

"Ma? Can I come with ya tomorrow?" he asked, his voice not as firm as his intention to be strong for her.

When she didn't react he addressed her again, somewhat louder this time, "Ma? I wanna come with you tomorrow."

Finally looking up, Michaela tried to comprehend what Brian had said. It was as if her son's words crossed the space between them at the pace of a snail, and when they finally reached her, they didn't make sense at all.

"Why would you do that?" she responded in bafflement. "Are you not feeling well?"

Again, the siblings glanced at each other, their concern increasing.

"I wanna help searching for Sully," the boy eventually clarified.

"Oh." Michaela carefully put down the fork she hadn't used anyway, contemplating how much to tell the children.

At last she looked up from her plate. Colleen and Brian's worried expressions were like a slap to the face, refocusing her attention to where it belonged. They were a family and she was their mother; she was supposed to take care of her children and not the other way around.

Straightening on her chair she took in a deep breath, cleansing her mind from any distractions.

"I won't search for Sully anymore," she stated calmly.

When Brian was about to protest she explained, "If Sully needed our help, he would find a way to tell us."

Laying her palm reassuringly on his hand on the table, she added, "I'm certain he and Cloud Dancing are fine."

Although both, Colleen and Brain had a lot more questions, they left it at that.

For now.

They could see how tired their mother was, and thus they nodded in understanding and resumed eating.

Later in her bedroom, Michaela stood next to Katie's crib, watching her peaceful slumber, and she wondered whether she would be able to sleep at all.

It would be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

_You can find the translation for the three Cheyenne words at the end of the chapter._

Chapter 4

The next morning was as lovely as a morning in June could only be. Yet it wasn't the joyous birdsongs or the first sunbeams on his skin that woke Sully from a very short sleep; it was the warmth of a soft hand on his cheek. He immediately tensed but the sight his eyes met when he opened them relieved him somewhat: The young face only a few inches away from his looked genuinely concerned. As he opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, the girl put her forefinger on his lips, mouthing, "Nótâxeo'o."

Instantly, Sully was fully alert.

"Where?" he whispered, his mouth barely moving.

"Hátâhéno ," she said, pointing southwards. "Ho'nó-hákó'e," she added.

Straining his ears, Sully didn't hear anything but still rose to his feet without hesitating. One glance between him and Cloud Dancing, who'd sat up with a grunt of pain, was enough for their understanding. The Cheyenne would make sure that no movement at their campsite betrayed their presence whilst Sully would find out how serious the situation was.

When the girl started to follow him Sully gestured for her to stay. The less people went, the better were their chances of not being detected. The questions he had for her needed to wait; he would deal with her later.

Without further delay, he took off in the direction she'd shown him and noiselessly clambered over big rocks, using the sparse bushes for cover. Once he reached the crest of the steep slope, he first checked the creek side below. The peaceful flow of the water was undisturbed, yet a movement right across from his vantage point made him duck deeper. Carefully he edged backwards, and when two soldiers appeared on the opposite top of the slope, looking down into the depth of the canyon scanning the area, he lay flat on his stomach.

When the men didn't see anything that demanded their attention they quickly retreated, and only some lightly swaying twigs affirmed that Sully hadn't imagined them.

He still waited a few minutes, observing the treeline where the soldiers had vanished, and soon his patience was rewarded. A dust cloud suddenly arose over the tree tops, and war cries together with fight sounds were heard. When a gunshot pierced the air and some barked commands followed Sully knew the soldiers had won. The group was moving carelessly now, and he could tell they were heading southwards, probably back to Colorado Springs. His heart saddened by the thought of what was waiting there for the captured Indians.

Things hadn't exactly turned out the way he'd imagined them. If he'd known the Indians wouldn't follow him to the free Cheyenne territory but start a war instead, he would never have helped them escape. But it was too late to dwell on that; his only concern was his brother. Cloud Dancing was still very weak, and with soldiers searching the woods his task to take him to safety didn't become easier.

Only at this thought did Sully remember the girl. Where had she come from and what did she want? She seemed to be around ten, but you could never tell with Indian children; their malnourished state usually made them look younger.

After casting a last look across the canyon Sully was on his way back, still careful not to be seen. It took him only a few minutes until he arrived at the small clearing where they had stopped for the night. His jaw literally dropped when he saw that there were three people now: A small boy sat next to Wolf stroking his back.

As he turned to the girl, her expression showed a mix of defiance and firmness. She held his gaze as she stepped next to the boy and nervously chewed on her lower lip before she said in a clear voice, "I am White Fawn and this is my brother Little Arrow. I take care of him. I want him to grow up a proud Arapaho. We will come with you."

Surprised by this short but determined speech Sully only frowned and looked at Cloud Dancing in order to gauge his reaction. Taking two children with them meant they would have to be twice as cautious and even slower than now because their food would not suffice for all of them which meant they needed to hunt in between.

Yet already when considering these complications Sully knew that he wouldn't be able to send the children away. The knowing look in his brother's eyes told him the same. Acknowledging this fact with an almost imperceptible nod he went to his place, picking up his bedroll. Of course he wanted to learn the kids' story but now was not the time.

"Let's move," he only said. "We'll talk later."

xxx

In Colorado Springs was nothing like it had been the week before. The Indians' attack against the jail and repeated raids on homesteads on the outskirts of town had everyone on edge. No one strolled leisurely along the streets anymore or stopped for a friendly talk. People seemed to be in a constant hurry to get back to their homes, the only place where they felt a certain amount of safety. In addition, word about trouble in the territory had quickly spread, and the normally steady stream of arriving visitors had turned into a feeble trickle whilst the departing trains were overcrowded. A hush had descended over the town, but the silence was a strained one. It felt like the calm before the storm.

Preston A. Lodge III. didn't like this development; he didn't like it at all. Calling him angry was a charitable understatement. Not only did his health resort suffer from the situation but the business with the newspaper went downhill as well. The Gazette was losing a large number of readers because its editor was a friend of the Indians. The banker didn't want to lose any more money, and since he couldn't do anything about his hotel he turned against Dorothy, calling in the loan he'd given her back then when she expanded her business. He confronted her at the first opportunity - in the middle of the street where he met her by chance after having lunch at Grace's Cafe.

He didn't stay to listen to her protest once he was done with her but started towards Michaela who was just dismounting Flash before her clinic.

"This is all Sully's fault," he fumed as he closed the distance between them with long strides. "I hope for his own good he will never show his face here again. If he does I will sue him for every penny he will earn for the rest of his life."

He wasn't done with his tirade yet but in the meantime Michaela had tethered her horse to the post and looked up at him. The exhaustion in her eyes silenced him for a minute, and he briefly wondered whether she had slept at all lately.

His compassion, however, didn't last, and he continued hurling his spitefulness against her. "At least he's back now where a savage like he belongs – out in the wilderness. You as a cultured woman should…"

Preston continued ranting yet he had lost Michaela's attention. Her gaze was fixed to soldiers that herded Indian prisoners down the street towards the meadow. As the group passed her a young Crow suddenly looked directly at her. He didn't move his lips but his expression told her that she didn't have to worry about the safety of the medicine man and Sully.

For a fleeting moment relief flooded her, yet then Preston's annoyed voice entered her conscious again.

"…good riddance," she heard him say, and that instantly pushed her over the edge.

"Are you sick, Mr. Lodge?" she asked briskly, her hand already on the door knob.

"Of course not!" he retorted indignantly. "But I need you to know that I won't tolerate…"

Yet Michaela cut him off, "Then good bye. I have patients to look after."

Not giving him another chance to resume his accusations she entered the clinic, closing the door behind her with a firmness that stopped Preston from following.

Once inside, Michaela let out a long breath. The truth was that the banker had simply said what many people in town thought. She could not only read it in their looks but the lack of patients since the uprising at the reservation told her the same. At least she hadn't been rejected on her round of house calls this morning. Since she was the only provider of her family now, she desperately needed an income. Now more than ever her financial situation demanded serious consideration. There were so many issues she still had to contemplate…

Lost in her troubled thoughts Michaela hadn't noticed that she still stood just behind the door, and only Brian's concerned look reminded her that she couldn't allow herself to live the desperation she felt. Her children needed her; she was the only one they could lean on.

Eventually moving, she put her medical bag onto her desk, took off her coat and put it on the hook at the wall. Then she went over to the examination table where Katie sat with her small legs dangling in the air, clutching her stuffed rabbit to her chest whilst looking wide-eyed at Brian who stood right before her with his flute in his hands. Not even her mother's arrival could distract the toddler from her wish to listen again to the sounds that came from this stick.

Michaela smiled affectionately at her son before she turned to her baby daughter. Bending down she stroked Katie's blond locks asking softly, "Have you been good to your big brother, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah," Brian answered for his sister, hoping he could take away at least one sorrow from his ma. "We are fine. She really loves to hear music."

"That's good," Michaela replied already absent-mindedly again, straightening her back. "That's good."

Yet before she went back to sit behind her desk she locked eyes with her son. She felt bad that the twelve-year-old couldn't enjoy the summer break like the other children. Instead of swimming and fishing he did not only look after his little sister but had to do twice as much chores at the homestead.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I don't know what I would do without your help, Brian."

"I love playing with Katie," he shrugged dismissively but still blushed with pride, and his eyes shone when he turned back to Katie, lifting the flute to his mouth again.

xxx

Unbeknownst to Michaela, O'Connor had witnessed the mute exchange between her and the Indian on the street. He'd noticed how her features slightly relaxed, if only for a split second. He'd been convinced all the time that the doctor knew about her husband's actions, and now more than ever was he resolved to get all this information from her. As soon as the Indians were handed over to the guards, he ordered four soldiers to follow him.

With determined strides, the sergeant marched over the meadow towards the bridge. If it was possible, he was even angrier than the day before. Out in the woods this morning it had looked as if they'd finally found the trail of Cloud Dancing and Sully, but then he and his men had almost fallen into the trap of the Indians that were now his prisoners. If he hadn't already killed the two at the reservation who'd told him the fugitives were on their way north to the Tongue River valley, he would have shot them right after their return for misleading him.

In O'Connor's opinion, the Indians had worked together to set him up, but the truth was that the small group of Indians had met the soldiers by chance on their search for the Cheyenne medicine man and his white friend. They had changed their mind and wanted to follow them north rather than fight a battle that was long lost. But then they'd noticed the soldiers. Since there had been only five of the white men, the warriors thought it was safe to attack them. They hadn't expected O'Connor's experience with this kind of combat, and lost.

However, the sergeant was convinced he'd been fooled, and he now needed someone who would pay for that. As he and his men at last crossed the bridge, he told one soldier to go to the back door of the clinic and sent another one to the side door that led from the patients' rooms to the clinic porch. With the two remaining men he burst into the examination room without bothering to knock.

Once inside he told his soldiers to search every space in the building, disregarding Michaela's immediate protest. He only waited until he was alone with the family, and then he pulled out his gun and put it to Katie's head.

"Where's Sully?" he growled, looking at the doctor without blinking. When she didn't reply right away, he cocked the gun, repeating, "Where?"

Michaela had watched her son and daughter who had still been occupied with the flute. Shocked by the sudden appearance of the soldiers she was speechless for a moment but had instantly jumped up from her chair, rounding her desk to protect her children. Brian on the other hand was reliving the nightmare from the morning before.

This time he recovered faster though, yelling at O'Connor, "Leave her alone!"

Not showing any emotion, the sergeant slightly turned, pointing the muzzle at Brian forehead, continuing looking at the doctor challengingly.

Knowing her son was only a tiny move of O'Connor's forefinger away from being shot Michaela stopped short but could finally speak again.

"How dare you!" Anger and fear made her voice unsteady but she still went on, "Leave my children alone!"

"Only when you tell me what I wanna know," O'Conner retorted icily, his outstretched arm with the gun still aiming at Brian's head, not wavering.

For a second Michaela considered to just tell him a lie but feared that he would recognize it. That was why she decided to go with the statement she had given before, "I already told you that I don't know anything about the uprising."

By now the sound of approaching steps from the hallway were audible. When his men re-entered the examination room, shaking their heads indicating that they hadn't found anything suspicious, O'Connor had his gun back in its holster.

"Seize her," he ordered the soldiers in a casual tone, gesturing with his chin to Michaela before directing his hateful eyes at her. "Let's see if a different surrounding will jog your memory."

**nótâxeo'o** - soldiers

**hátâhéno** –over there

**ho'nó-hákó'e** - not far


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You have no right to arrest me," Michaela protested, trying to shake the soldiers' hands off her upper arms. "I'm a civilian."

Although she was more frightened than she'd ever been in her life she was determined not to show it. It was O'Connor's method to intimidate people in order to get information. That was why she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cave in. However, his aiming a cocked weapon at her children had shaken her to her core, so she was going to do whatever she could in order not to provoke him.

O'Connor's only response was a glance at his men, which was enough for them to tighten their grip on Michaela again. This time she stayed silent, fearing the sergeant's next move. She quietly watched him strolling to the bookshelves, pulling out one volume after the other letting them drop on the floor. Yet when he went to the medicine cabinets, opening the first one, she couldn't stop herself any longer. After making sure that her children were out of reach for him by now - Brian had lifted Katie into his arms and edged to the back wall – she made an attempt to protect her stock of medicine from being destroyed.

"No one is hidden behind these bottles," she said, relieved that her voice didn't waver.

Slowly, O'Conner turned around not speaking though. Michaela almost wished he would yell at her because his indefinite stare was much more unsettling. She didn't avert her eyes when she continued, "These medical supplies are not only for the people of Colorado Springs but they helped many soldiers in the past, too."

Encouraged by the fact that the sergeant actually refrained from shattering any bottles she repeated her statement from earlier, "You have no right to arrest me. I…"

"Martial law," O'Connor cut her off, sounding almost bored, gesturing with his chin for his men to lead her out of the clinic.

Michaela only had time for a last glance back at her son. She didn't have to say anything though. Brian instantly reassured her, "I'll take care of Katie, Ma. I promise."

The grateful smile his mother cast him was not tinged with worry as he'd expected but sadness, which made the boy want to be strong for her and his little sister all the more. He'd been the man in the house before, and now he was even older. He could do it. His family could count on him.

Once on the street, the soldiers released Michaela's arms. They kept her between them while remaining half a step behind. For the people who watched them it was clear that the town's doctor wasn't asked for her service when they started to walk her towards the army camp.

Michaela looked straight ahead, avoiding everyone's gaze. There was, however, one pair of eyes that captured hers for a heartbeat. She couldn't read Hank's look, but knew she had other things to worry about than the barkeeper's opinion about her.

She had no idea what O'Connor would do to her, but the recollection of a particular day out in the woods added to her nervousness. The sergeant had been searching for escaped Indians back then and found Cloud Dancing, Sully and her by a creek. She was so heavily pregnant that she could barely move, but O'Connor had rudely shoved her out of his way, not caring if she fell. Next he'd turned against Sully, who lay defenseless on the ground with a broken leg. The sergeant stomped on it, making sure the pain became unbearable. He and his men had the upper hand, but he still wanted to make his point: he was the one who had the power.

Michaela knew she was fooling herself when she thought this man would let her go without getting the answers he sought. She needed to make up her mind what information to give him.

xxx

Michaela stood in the middle of an army tent that was empty apart from a wooden chair next to the flap. The ground was grassy and uneven, just a patch of the meadow. In a way this was comforting; it gave her the feeling of being home. Maybe they had once had a picnic at exactly this spot, and laughed and talked.

Hard as she tried, she couldn't concentrate on the happy memories; not enough to distract her from the anxiety and fear. Her mind was too busy racing through her limited knowledge of Sully's actions and still didn't know what to tell O'Connor. Her only hope was to get through with the truth: that she hadn't been involved in her husband's plans. She also wouldn't give away that Sully and Cloud Dancing were probably heading to the Cheyenne territory. After all, that was only hearsay.

But what if he didn't believe her? She suppressed a sigh.

When they'd arrived at the tent some ten minutes before, O'Connor had ordered one of his soldiers to watch her, exchanging a look with him that obviously made the young man uncomfortable. Ever since the sergeant had left, he would shuffle his feet nervously, averting his eyes from her.

Only briefly did Michaela wonder why he didn't offer her the chair because another question was more urgent: Where was O'Connor? His absence actually frightened her more than if he'd been there. She feared he might have returned to the clinic. This possibility made her break out in sweat but leaving her hands ice-cold. She wished she had told Brian to immediately go to Grace's so he wouldn't be alone with Katie. Yet knowing him she was certain that he'd rather tucked his little sister in one of the recovery rooms for her much needed afternoon nap. The little one had been pretty tired after lunch and it had come close to a miracle that she neither cried when O'Connor stormed in nor later when she saw her mother leave. Fortunately Katie was too young to understand the she had been in mortal danger when the sergeant had pointed his gun at her.

But maybe, so Michaela hoped, she was worrying for nothing. Maybe O'Connor only wanted to wear her down, and part of this was to not allow her to sit. But if he thought that would work, he was mistaken. She had stood for hours on end during surgeries, not getting tired at all.

Yet the terrifying thought that he was threatening Brian and Katie again at this very moment and she wasn't there to protect them continued to plague her. She had to keep her children out of this, no matter what. So she had to give away some facts; but what should she say?

This way her thoughts went in circles for another half an hour, and when the flap was finally lifted, letting in some fresh air and light for a minute, Michaela was almost relieved. Squaring her shoulders, she took in a deep breath, raising her chin. She would do whatever it took to keep her daughters and sons safe. They were all that mattered to her.

O'Connor didn't begin, as she'd expected, with his interrogation right away; he first told the soldier to take the chair over to her. When the young man hesitated, he gained a glare which made him hurry to carry out the order.

In an attempt to relief the soldier's uneasiness Michaela lightly smiled up at him when he put down the chair behind her. She wanted him to see that she knew it wasn't his fault that she had to stand for so long.

"Thank you," she said, lowering herself on the seat.

Yet there was none.

Not prepared for that, she fell on the ground, thrashing her arms around, instinctively trying to find something to hold on to. Of course she failed, but at least her shock quickly subsided as she realized that O'Connor had planned to make her fall the moment he said indifferently, "Chair's wobblin'."

Once she had not only her mind but also her body under control again, she shifted, supporting herself with her hands on the ground in order to straighten to her feet again.

Yet she couldn't.

Stunned, she looked at her left hand which not only prevented her from getting up but was also the source of a fireball suddenly exploding inside of her head. It took still a couple of seconds until the pain hit her and she comprehended what was happening.

O'Conner had intentionally pulled the chair away to have her helplessly lying before him, and as if this wasn't already enough he'd stepped onto her hand, still pressing it against the ground with his heavy army boot.

The humiliation she felt was all-consuming yet it was that what gave her the strength to regain her composure. She had experienced degradation often enough in her life. She'd been laughed at for her dreams and rejected and patronized because she was a woman. That somebody used physical violence was new but still didn't change the fact that she reacted all the same: she refused to be intimidated.

O'Connor seemed to sense the change because he confronted her again.

"You'll tell me everythin' I wanna know," he said openly threatening this time. "Or I'll go back and ask that boy. I know 'bout the horses, and so does he. You had them in your front yard for days."

Only now did he free her hand by taking back a step. As he watched his soldier help Michaela on the chair he continued, enumerating the facts she could not deny, "You're an Indian friend. You were in jail twice 'cause ya helped them. You're always together with your husband on this, so don't even try and give me the 'I don't know anythin'' again. Sully committed treason, and until I have him I'll stick to you and those kids."

Sitting on the chair in the meantime, Michaela closed her eyes and tried to breathe through a wave of nausea and pain, but she couldn't afford to think about herself. Her mind still raced. O'Connor didn't make hollow threats. He had a reputation as a cruel and merciless man, and she knew from her own experience that it was true. Although it wasn't in her nature to lie she had no choice this time.

Astonished about how easily a believable story came to her she leaned against the back of the chair, looking up at the sergeant. "My husband moved to the new Yellowstone National Park," she said without blinking. "Welland Smith offered him a job there."

She left out the fact that this had been some months ago. O'Connor didn't buy it anyway; he only scoffed.

"Sully went to Yellowstone," Michaela insisted. "The horses were for trading along the way. He also needed a few as working horses while he does the surveying of the land."

Turning her eyes away from the sergeant's cold stare she missed that he lifted his head, listening to something he heard outside of the tent.

Realizing that his time with the doctor became limited, he refrained from watching her getting entangled in her own lies; actually he had a better idea.

"He moved away for good?" he asked as if wanting to make sure he'd understood her right.

Hearing a buzzing sound in her ears Michaela feared she might faint any minute. She desperately needed fresh air and had to examine her hand that was already quite swollen. Since she believed that there was no way for Sully to ever come back she simply replied, "Yes."

"Good," O'Connor nodded, satisfied that he'd caught her. If she hadn't lied, Sully would be hunted down in Wyoming, but since they both knew she hadn't told the truth he would get to her all the same.

"Then let me make ya a promise," he said, his satisfaction shining through, "if Sully ever shows up here again, I'll arrest you both. Him for committing treason and you for helpin' him and lyin' to the army. And your kids will be sent to an orphanage."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hank wasn't a man who pitied other people; for that Life was too tough at the frontier. If you wanted to survive, not to mention run a successful business, there was no room for sentimental thoughts. That didn't mean though he was heartless, especially when it came to children. He even respected Michaela although she was a woman, but of course he'd never admit that out loud. However, when she was led to the army camp it didn't bother him. She was an Indian friend like Sully, and he was sure she'd protect him no matter what. In his world this meant that she had called for what she got.

Still lingering on his porch when Michaela was long out if his sight Hank leaned against a post, lighting another cigar. The saloon would be busy soon enough, and so he enjoyed the last quiet minutes. He was just blowing a perfect smoke ring, when Jake spoke up next to him, "So they took her, huh?"

Hank only grunted, not deigning to turn his eyes away from the rings that were following the first one. There was no need to affirm the obvious.

Knowing the signs when his friend didn't want to talk, Jake shrugged and vanished inside.

Hank was about to follow him when a movement on the clinic balcony caught his eye. Brian stepped out of the recovery room, carrying Katie. The little girl was sobbing, and the boy tried to sooth her, walking back and forth. From time to time he adjusted his baby sister in his arms, quietly talking to her. The tears didn't subside though, and the boy looked pretty desperate himself.

Hank frowned. It wasn't his business but he still didn't like to see the kids in such distress. Just when he contemplated to cross the street, Brian went inside again and the barkeeper changed his mind. Tossing his cigar on the ground he extinguished it with his boot and entered the bar. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget the anguish on Brian's face: there had been more to it than only the concern about Katie crying.

Mad at himself for caring he eventually downed his whisky and thumped the glass on the counter before he stormed out of the saloon, almost bumping into Loren who was heading towards the bridge. Brought to an abrupt halt Hank glared at the old man yet Loren was too worried about Brian to be bothered. It was known all over town that the storekeeper had a soft spot for the boy, no one was fooled by his grumpily treating Charlotte's, and now Michaela's, youngest.

"Somethin's wrong," he muttered short of breath, resuming his hurrying to the bridge. "Brian keeps running towards the army camp but when he's close enough to talk to the soldiers he turns around."

Hank didn't reply but followed Loren who called as soon as they were within earshot, "Brian, what's the matter?"

Brian, who was once again gathering all his strength to finally demand to see his ma, jumped when Mr. Bray's voice cut into his thoughts. Yet then his features softened for here was his solution: the soldiers would listen to a man.

"They will hurt Ma," he burst out. "Please, you gotta help me get her out of there!"

"Aw, don't ya worry," Loren instantly assured, breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't something serious that disturbed his little friend. "No one'll hurt Dr. Mike. They just ask her some questions."

He looked at Hank, waiting for him to affirm his words, yet the barkeeper didn't take his eyes from Brian, remembering the terrified expression on the boy's face from earlier.

"She's a woman," Hank said, holding the child's gaze watching his reaction. "They ain't gonna touch her."

"Ya don't understand!" Brian cried out desperately. "The sergeant is really mean! He threatened to shoot Katie and me!"

The men glanced at each other. Making threats in order to get information was normal yet something about Brian's distress alarmed them.

"Threatened ya how?" Hank at last asked. He needed to know more before he made the decision whether to do something or rather stay out of this.

Reliving the moment Brian began to tremble, but feeling safe in the men's presence, tears finally streamed down his cheeks as he choked out, "He pointed his gun first at Katie's head and then at mine. And he cocked it!"

Loren gasped. Stunned he looked at Hank, not wanting to believe what he'd just heard. Hank, on the other hand, felt rage rise inside of him. He wasn't a prim person himself and had done his share of foolish and even violent things, especially when he was drunk, but never had he touched a child.

"Ya stay here," he told Loren who had pulled Brian in an awkward embrace, soothingly rubbing the boy's back.

Loren nodded in agreement yet Hank didn't see it. He was already rushing towards the army tents.

"Where's O'Connor?" he asked the first soldier who crossed his way. The man only shrugged and continued his stroll to his destination.

"O'Connor!" Hank called out, not gaining any response though.

Not sure where to go he looked around, eventually spotting Sergeant McKay at the edge of the camp talking to a few of his men, apparently giving them orders. Without hesitation the barkeeper made a beeline for him, repeating his question, "Where's O'Connor?"

After dismissing the soldiers with a nod of his head McKay turned his attention to the saloon owner.

"May I help you?" he asked politely.

"I have no time for that," Hank retorted impatiently, glowering at the man across from him. He didn't want to start a discussion; he was interested in action. However, he still knew there was only one reason that wouldn't be questioned when he asked for Michaela's whereabouts. "Michaela's needed in town but she's still kept here."

The sergeant sighed. Without another word he pivoted and headed for the area where they held the prisoners. Not announcing himself, he lifted the flap of the tent in which they used to do the interrogations and ducked in, Hank right on his heels.

With just one look McKay assessed the situation. Dr. Quinn's complexion was ashen, and she looked as if she would pass out any moment. The young soldier standing right next to her chair averted his eyes, looking guiltily whilst O'Connor stood with his arms crossed on the other side, staring at the arrivers challengingly.

McKay took in a deep breath, knowing that confronting O'Connor right here and now was out of the question. After all, the man was his superior.

Being aware of Mr. Lawson as a witness, McKay kept his voice even when he said, "There's an emergency in town. They need the doctor."

"What's goin' on here?" Hank chimed in, his tone indicating that he demanded an answer. He could tell that Michaela was in pain, and the way her left hand lay on her thigh looked pretty weird.

"We had a minor accident," O'Connor replied dismissively. "Mrs. Sully fell."

"That true?" Hank turned to Michaela, willing her to look at him.

She actually lifted her head yet her expression was blank. As a doctor she knew that shock was setting in when her heart started to race, skipping a few beats in between. No longer able to resist the urge to flee she rose to her feet, carefully supporting her left forearm with her right one. "I need to take care of my hand," she uttered, starting to leave.

Only one full look at Michaela's hand was enough for Hank to realize that nothing what had happened here had been an accident. Disgusted, he took a step closer to O'Connor, wanting to throttle him yet McKay gripped his arm, holding him back.

"Don't," he simply said, and as much as Hank wanted to ignore the officer, he knew he was right. It wouldn't solve anything to attack O'Connor. Thus he simply spat before his feet, yet the sergeant stayed unruffled.

Instead of reacting to the barkeeper, he followed Michaela. As he held up the flap for her, he fixed her with his cold stare again. "I'll watch your every step."

Michaela didn't know yet that he meant that literally.

xxx

The following hours were a blur to Michaela. She went straight back to the clinic, sending Brian with Loren for some ice. Since she didn't want anyone's pity she didn't explain how she'd gotten hurt. Actually, she tried to hide her hand from those who were just onlookers, and thus only Hank had an idea of what had happened in that army tent.

One issue she couldn't handle on her own though: her hand was so badly swollen that the wedding ring cut deeply into the flesh of her finger. She had no choice but take it off, yet the problem was that normal tricks didn't help: neither the cooling ice nor soap was enough to make the ring slide off. It was Brian who eventually had the right idea and suggested to ask Robert E. for some pincers. Although Michaela would have preferred to continue avoiding the blacksmith she agreed.

She waited until her son had left before she, sitting in her chair, carefully began to palpate her hand on the top of her desk. Nearly passing out from the pain she groaned yet she caught herself, suddenly remembering Sully's words from when they'd first met.

"If you're gonna survive you better learn to make it on your own," was his advice, and those words had never been more true than right now. This wasn't the time to allow herself any weakness.

The clinic door bursting open interrupted this thought.

"Ma!" Colleen called, rushing towards her. She'd been with Andrew at his clinic all day and just learned from her little brother that Dr. Mike was hurt. As soon as she took a closer look at Michaela's hand she paled visibly.

"Oh my God!" the young girl exclaimed. "What happened?"

"I diagnosed a fracture of the proximal and middle phalanges with distal involvement of the fifth metacarpal," Michaela reported somewhat detached. Being used to repeat her diagnosis for her patients to understand she clarified, "The pinky and ring finger are broken and one of the bones of my hand." Still not offering more information she continued, "I need to set the bones. Would you please help me wrap my hand afterwards?"

"Of course!" Colleen sounded almost mad that her mother even asked, yet she had learned a long time ago that people are often not themselves when they were in severe pain. Without further ado she went to the cupboard, searching through the phials.

"I'll give you some morphine," she announced, determined not to take any objections from her ma.

Michaela was already exhausted by the torture her injured hand gave her, so she didn't even try to protest.

It didn't take long for the morphine to work. When Brian eventually stormed in, Robert E. in tow, things had already become fuzzy for her and she didn't even notice Grace who entered the room as well, carrying little Katie in her arms.

As Robert E. approached her, she closed her eyes, shortly wondering whether taking her wedding ring off in such a violent way held any symbolism of her situation. Feeling the cold metal of the pincers on her skin she dropped any thought though, fully concentrating on the task to not faint from the pain in front of her children.

xxx

Michaela startled to wake from her dozing in her wingback chair at the fireplace when the entrance to the house opened after a light knock. She had insisted on staying downstairs with the children until they all would turn in. There was no way she would let them face possible intruders on their own again; after what happened in the afternoon she expected anything from Sergeant O'Connor.

"Matthew!" Brian's cry instantly eased her mind. "You came!"

The happiness in the boy's tone was unmistakable as he threw his arms around the young man's waist.

"Yeah," Matthew replied, ruffling his little brother's hair. As he exchanged a look with Colleen he explained, "Hank suggested I'd come."

There was a question in this statement which he hoped his sister would answer.

Unsure of what to say the girl glanced to the fireplace. Seeing Dr. Mike straightening to her feet with quite some effort, she instantly went over in order to help.

Brian, however, too excited about Matthew's presence, took over and reported, "Hank saved Ma from the sergeant."

Instantly dismissing all the reasons that had kept him from the homestead till now, Matthew became just the concerned son. Watching Dr. Mike coming towards him, he took in the left hand in plaster and the arm held by a sling around her neck. Yet what frightened him more was her almost translucent complexion and the dark rings beneath her eyes.

He wanted to ask her what had happened yet her eyes begged him to refrain from it. With an almost imperceptibly nod he showed her that he understood; he would wait until they were alone but he still made a decision. One reason why he had stayed away from the family was because as the sheriff of town he had to look for Sully. The other had been that he wasn't quite sure how much Dr. Mike was involved in Sully's actions; after all, she had helped to free Cloud Dancing from the army before.

All that didn't matter anymore. This was his family, and it was obvious that his presence was needed. Taking his hat off, he put it on his little brother's head.

"Would ya mind if we share a room again?" he asked Brian, smiling down at him.

"Are you sure?" Michaela chimed in, her voice quiet and her look troubled.

"I am," Matthew assured, his tone sincere.

"Yay!" Brian almost jumped with excitement. "It'll be like the old times," he beamed. "It's good to have ya back in the house."

"It will be good to be together again," Michaela agreed, "all of us under the same roof."

She had learned to accept help when she needed it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

They had been riding along the slopes of the mountain range that stretched from south to north for two days now. Although it would have been more comfortable to take the roads in the plains, Sully had chosen this way deliberately. They could hide more easily in the woods and avoid the forts that were scattered at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.

For today's night camp he'd chosen a place close to the Fourmile Canyon Creek near the young town Boulder. The forest was still dense here so they could even dare to make a fire. Fortunately it hadn't rained for quite a while, so the twigs and small branches they would used were dry, not producing telltale smoke.

"Feels like the old times," Sully said wistfully as he built a circle for the fire with stones that the children were bringing him from the creek's edge.

Yet the moment the words were out he knew they weren't true. The days when he'd roamed the woods with his Cheyenne family had been peaceful, even carefree in a way although they always worried about finding enough food for the tribe. Not even the familiar sounds and smells could cover up that the picture looked very much the same but the situation had changed completely: they were running for their lives.

Back then Cloud Dancing had made his life worth living again, and now Sully was doing the same for his brother. No one and nothing could keep him from that. He wouldn't be here anymore without the Cheyenne so it was his turn to save him. In order to fulfill his mission Sully had cleansed his mind, suppressing any thought that might distract him from the task.

He glanced at Cloud Dancing who grimaced in pain as he carefully lowered himself onto the ground. But even when he eventually sat, the medicine man didn't respond to his friend's remark.

The Cheyenne was concerned. Not for himself or the children that had joined them but for his brother. The longer he stayed away from Colorado Springs, the more difficult it would become for him to explain his absence. But Sully had flatly refused to go back to his family when he'd asked him to do so. Recognizing then how important it was to his friend to take him north, Cloud Dancing knew it was useless to suggest it again. Apart from that he acknowledged that he wasn't well enough yet to make it all the way up to the Tongue River Valley on his own, only accompanied by Little Arrow and his sister.

Thus he stayed silent. He closed his eyes and prayed to the spirits that Sully's life wouldn't be destroyed because of his desire to help.

Eventually, the fire burned. It was small enough to not be noticeable from the distance but strong enough to boil some water for tea. Whilst Cloud Dancing lay on his fur Sully and the two Arapaho sat cross-legged, looking into the dancing flames.

"Wanna tell now how ya found us?" Sully asked quietly, using a stick to push some twigs to the centre of the fire.

Before his sister could reply, Little Arrow grinned mischievously, "We followed you."

"What?" Alarmed, Sully looked from the boy to the girl. If that was true he hadn't been cautious enough. "Since when?" he demanded.

White Fawn held his gaze when she responded, "The first day."

Stunned into speechlessness Sully stared at the girl who wasn't intimidated in the least. She could tell by now that this white man was no threat to her and her brother. It was he who took them to their destination, not the Cheyenne how she'd initially thought.

"We were with the woman and children on the wagon that left the reservation," she elaborated. "Then the soldiers came after us and shot. Our mother was hit. Before she fell to the ground she told us to follow the medicine man."

Since the children were small they didn't have any problem to escape in the turmoil that started once the soldiers caught up with the wagon. Right before their mother was shot White Fawn had spotted the Indian agent who ran with the Cheyenne towards the edge of the reservation. It wasn't difficult to find and read their tracks, and it was even easier to follow because the noise of the men's horses swallowed any sound that might have given their own presence away. When they eventually noticed the soldiers this morning, White Fawn knew it was time to reveal themselves.

After learning the girl's story, Cloud Dancing looked at Sully who ran his hand through his hair as it was his habit when he was upset. The Indian knew his brother: all he had heard was that the mother of the children was dead. He saw it as his fault; the escape he'd planned had turned into chaos. Now he was stricken with guilt.

"You are not to blame," the medicine man said sincerely as he sat up with quite some effort. "It was her decision to flee."

The children didn't understand what was going on between the men but waited for their decision about what would happen with them. Soon enough they knew.

"I'll take ya up to the Northern Territory. I promise," Sully vowed when he eventually looked up again. "Tomorrow we'll try to make it to the Red Feather Lakes. We'll pass two more forts on our way."

He didn't have to say more. Each one at the small fire knew what that meant.

xxx

It was still dark outside when Michaela sat up in bed, gasping for air. A large black rock had been hovering over her threatening to fall, smashing her. When she realized that it had only been a dream, relief flooded her yet it didn't hold long. As she turned in order to look whether she had woken Sully, her gaze fell on the empty place on his side of their bed. Her nightmare was going on.

Exhausted, she pushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. The more alert she became, the more she felt the pain in her left hand. Obviously, the dose of morphine had worn off and a dull ache behind her temples reminded her that there was a price to pay for using the drug. Fortunately one of the children had left a glass of water on her nightstand so she could at least do something against her dry mouth.

After taking a few small sips she rose from the bed, wanting to check on Katie.

Her daughter slept soundly, sucking on her thumb from time to time. Gently, Michaela pulled it out although she knew it wouldn't take long for it to be back at its old place.

Looking at the innocent face of her slumbering baby, Michaela felt the chill from the afternoon again. How could a grown man threaten to shoot a small child? Any child? In fact, any other human being?

What would O'Connor do once he'd find out that Sully wasn't at Yellowstone Park? She wouldn't take the risk that he came close to her children again, and of course there was only one solution: she had to get them out of his reach.

Although she shivered in the cool night air she didn't don her robe as she went over to the window; she was too occupied by her contemplating what to do. Colleen would be back in college soon and was already an adult like Matthew. They weren't in as grave a danger as Brian and Katie. At least she hoped so.

No matter how Michaela twisted and turned it, she could only think of one place where her younger children would be protected and safe: Boston. She would send her children to Boston.

Feeling as if a weight had been taken from her shoulders, she took in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly with her eyes roaming the yard beneath her, not really seeing it. Yet suddenly an unusual sight arrested her attention and she took a quick step back.

Three soldiers had built an observation post on the way to her family's property, and one of them was looking in her direction. She didn't know whether he had spotted her, but she felt exposed all the same. Only now did she begin to comprehend what O'Connor had meant when he told her that he would watch her every step.

Slowly retreating into her bed she was even more determined now to take Brian and Katie out of here. The only question was how to get them to their grandmother.

However, her head barely touched the pillow when she had second thoughts already. Sitting up again she chewed on the tip of her right thumb, thinking hard. It was not foreseeable how long it would take until their situation wasn't dangerous anymore. Wouldn't her sending the children away damage this family even more? Brian was almost thirteen; he had deep roots in Colorado Springs. As much as he loved his grandma, he would still feel alone only with his little sister around. No friends, no Matthew nor Colleen, and maybe worst of all, she herself wouldn't be there for him right after he lost his second father. The same went for Katie; she'd already lost one parent. Was it wise to take the other one from her, too?

An itching inside of the plaster distracted her from her troubled thoughts. Frowning, she turned on the lamp next to her bed. Worriedly, she noticed the dark red color of her fingertips, which even held a blue hue. She had been reluctant about using plaster, fearing that the bruising on the back of her hand might swell. She should have listened to her instinct. All she could do now was cut off the pinching bandage and find another way to stabilize the bones.

When she left her bed she made a mental note that she needed to discuss with her children what they thought was more important: being safe from O'Connor in Boston or feeling secure by staying with the family.

xxx

After they convinced Michaela to turn in now that Matthew was with them, the Cooper siblings had made their own plans in the evening. At the breakfast table they went over their new schedules as they heard their mother come down the stairs. All their heads were turned towards her when she at last entered the kitchen.

Upon seeing Dr. Mike everybody moved. Colleen rose and went to the hearth, filling a plate with scrambled eggs whilst Matthew and Brian got up simultaneously in order to pull out a chair for their ma. Matthew was faster.

He waited until she sat before he asked quietly, trying to keep the concern out of his voice, "How are ya?"

He had helped Colleen in the middle of the night to cut through the plaster. It had to be done in a way so that a part of it could still be used like a case for the broken part of her hand. It hadn't been easy, but somehow they'd managed. Getting a glimpse of the injured hand in the dim light of the oil lamp he'd been shocked, so of course he failed in sounding relaxed. How could one pretend to not be worried upon seeing a beloved one in pain? Not only the physical, obvious pain but even more the one that darkened her face?

As expected, Michaela didn't want anyone to fret. "I'm fine, Matthew. Thank you," she assured as she gratefully glanced at Colleen who put down the plate before her.

Adjusting the sling for her arm around her neck she didn't notice that the children exchanged a look which was the sign for Colleen to broach the news. So it happened that both women started to speak simultaneously.

"Ma, we talked it through…" said Colleen whilst Michaela began, "I have something to discuss with you."

"You first," Colleen offered, almost smiling.

Michaela thanked her with a nod and came straight to the point. "What would you think if we take Brian and Katie to my mother?" she began. "Boston is…"

"What? No!" Brian looked aghast as he put down his biscuit on his plate. "You can't send me away!"

Michaela sighed. "I don't send you away, Brian. All I want for you is to be safe from Sergeant O'Connor. I would never forgive myself if…"

"Dr. Mike." Matthew's calm voice stopped her from continuing.

"Dr. Mike," the young man repeated bending towards her, shortly touching her hand on the table in a soothing way. "Separatin' Brian and Katie from us is not a good idea."  
"But the sergeant…" Michaela interjected, willing her children to understand the danger before they made a decision.

"He's left town last night." Matthew silenced her with that. He waited until he saw that the importance of this information had sunk in before he continued, "Indians attacked the town in the late evenin' and the army is chasin' them now. I talked to McKay, and he said that O'Connor's headin' north 'cause he thinks the dog soldiers have a camp there."

Michaela didn't correct her eldest; she was sure that O'Connor was going after Sully: Yellowstone was located north-west of Colorado Springs.

Taking his chances, Brian instantly made use of the pause in the conversation. "Ma," he said eagerly, picking up his biscuit again, "we've made a plan. Colleen will help ya at the clinic and keep an eye on Katie when you're there. But when ya gotta ride out to your patients, I'll take care of her. And me and Matthew're gonna share the chores here at the homestead so ya don't have to worry 'bout anythin'."

The boy's eyes shone with enthusiasm as he explained the plan. "What do ya think?" he asked, looking at her expectantly.

Michaela searched Colleen and Matthew's faces whether their mind was already set. It was.

"Alright," she conceded, not knowing yet whether she was relieved that the family would face the upcoming challenges together. "If you are certain…"

"We are," Matthew confirmed as he got up from his seat. "I gotta go to town," he explained reaching for his hat on the chair next to him.

He was already at the door when he put it on his head, saying, "Need to take stock of the damage the dog soldiers caused last night."

"See ya later!" Brian called after him before he took another large bite from his biscuit.

Michaela couldn't help but smile at the sight; it gave her a sense of normality. She wasn't alone in this; they would make it through this ordeal together.

Picking up her fork, Michaela began to eat as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The morning rush at the mercantile was over, and Loren Bray stepped out onto his porch, carrying a broom. He would sweep a bit which gave him two advantages at once: he looked busy but was also able to see everything that was going on outside.

Since his store was very conveniently situated, he had the perfect view all along the main street with the saloon in the end on one side and the clinic and Dorothy's house across from it. Looking to his left was rather boring; not even the stage coach used this direction. When he turned right though, he could watch what was happening at Jake's, the bank, the livery and – if it still stood - the sheriff office, not to mention that he could easily scan the people who left and arrived by train.

Today, however, his gaze went only straight ahead when he looked up from his task. He hadn't seen Dr. Mike arriving yet, and he couldn't deny that he was worried for her and the children. After what Brian had told Hank and him yesterday Loren could easily guess that Dr. Mike's injured hand was not the result of an accident. What else would the army do to her?

Deeply sighing, he cast another look towards the clinic. Although the old man had developed some indulgence when it came to Sully's love for the Indians, he really didn't understand his former son-in-law this time. How could he organize an uprising? Sully was a wanted man now with quite high a price on his head for which even Hank or Jake would forget that they knew him. Sully would never be able to show up in town again and return to his family.

But that wasn't all. Dr. Mike was hurt because of what he'd done. In addition, the town punished her for her husband's actions. She didn't deserve that.

Pausing in his sweeping Loren straightened, supporting himself on the broom with his left hand and putting the right on his hip. Wasn't there a twinge in his back? Maybe he should see his doctor. Satisfied with himself, the corners of his mouth lifted a tiny bit and his eyes sparkled. He would set a sign and openly march down the street, showing everyone that he was still Dr. Mike's patient.

As if on cue, the wagon with the family turned around the corner, passed Dorothy's office and halted before the clinic.

Even from the distance Loren could tell that Dr. Mike wasn't well. Frowning, he watched how she tried to get down from the wagon without hurting herself. When her very last step turned into a tiny jump onto the ground and her face contorted in pain, Loren took in the air through clenched teeth sympathetically.

However, his attention was suddenly diverted by the whistling of the morning train and Matthew's hurrying towards the station. It was obvious that the sheriff wanted to meet someone, but whom?

Loren decided to give Dr. Mike some time to settle in before he went to see her. He would first take a look at the people who were arriving to town.

xxx

Sitting behind her desk in the examination room, Michaela stared into space. A feeling of unease had nagged at her since the moment Matthew said O'Connor was heading north. Whilst Colleen had helped her stabilizing her hand for the trip into town, she'd asked Brian to bring her the map. She was horrified once she realized that Yellowstone National Park was situated not even two hundred miles west from the Tongue River Valley. Her intention to distract the sergeant from Sully's true destination had backfired, and now she couldn't shake off the thought that she had put the army right on her husband's tracks. If O'Connor found him and Cloud Dancing it would be her fault, and she knew she wouldn't be able to live with that. Despite her encounter with the sergeant the day before all she wished now was that he would still be in town.

But Michaela knew she had no influence on what was happening outside of Colorado Springs. She needed to concentrate on the problems at hand.

This morning had shown her that working would be close to impossible at least for a few more days until the worst of the pain would be gone. Taking morphine again was out of the question. Not only was the addiction of Dorothy's son to the drug still fresh on her mind but also her experience with it from the day before. Her only option was laudanum which wouldn't help her enough. That meant that even if her patients changed their mind and would come to see her again she wouldn't be able to work. Her family was without an income.

She still hesitated though to open her drawer and take out a sheet of paper in order to write a letter to her mother. All facts were against her: the open bills at Loren's started to pile up, she needed new medical supplies and Colleen's tuition for her upcoming year in college was due. In addition, she had no idea what to do about the money they owed to Daniel.

Yet she still didn't move. She had asked her mother for money before, after her family's first financial catastrophe. It had been the result of an unknown illness in her clinic that she could only erase by burning all her things and replacing them afterwards.

This time it was different. If she sent this letter she would make it official that her husband had left the family and she wasn't able to provide for her children.

Sully's leaving was a fact she couldn't change, but maybe she shouldn't already give up hoping that at least some of her patients would return. She could still diagnose and work with her right hand while Colleen did the rest.

After some more thinking Michaela decided to wait two more days before she asked her mother for help.

A light knock at the door prevented her from mulling over her next problem: Sergeant O'Connor. Hoping to see a patient she brushed away a stray wisp of hair as she straightened on her seat.

"Come in!" she called, hoping her voice sounded strong and determined.

Yet the person who stepped in was the least she'd expected to see. Sully's best friend was here.

"I read about Sully in the newspaper," Daniel said, remaining close to the door after he closed it.

He carefully watched Michaela's face. This was the first time they met again after he'd told her he loved her, and he knew that his presence made her uncomfortable.

That was why he hurried to explain and ease her mind, "I promise you'll never have cause to think of me as anythin' other than a friend. I'm here to help."

He didn't reveal that Matthew had sent him a telegram last night, asking him if he could come. It would look as if he needed an excuse for his being here, but he would have come anyway. He really was sincere in his intentions: he wanted to help Sully's family until his friend was back.

Michaela could read the genuineness in his eyes as he continued looking at her, and sudden, unexplainable relief warmed her. Despite herself, tears brimmed in her eyes as she eventually whispered, "Thank you, Daniel."

Only now did he step closer, taking down his hat and running his hand through his hair. It was a gesture so similar to Sully's that Michaela quickly looked away in order to prevent the tears from spilling out.

Daniel waited patiently, giving her the time to compose herself. He didn't know much about what had happened yet; but before he discussed anything else with her he needed an answer to a question that was a matter of time. Yet only when she looked up again he asked, "Ya want me to go find him?"

He was both, surprised and startled, when her response came immediately with an edge to her voice, "No."

Recognizing his astonishment, Michaela softened when she explained, "Sully does what he has to do. I won't keep him from that."

"Alright," Daniel said slowly.

Her tone was neither tinged with bitterness and anger nor with sadness, but there was something else he couldn't grasp. However, her decision was a cue for him to go back to the entrance, opening it for Matthew to step in.

Puzzled, Michaela looked from one man to the other yet Matthew didn't make her guess for long. Gesturing with his head for Daniel to sit down at the desk across from Dr. Mike he fetched a chair for himself that stood next to the cot at the wall. Only when he at last sat as well, he looked at his mother.

Holding her gaze he began gently but firm, "Ma, ya need to tell us what happened."

As she immediately tensed up he continued quickly in order to make her see that they could only act when they knew the full extent of the family disaster. "O'Conner ain't gone forever, and we gotta know what he knows and what he did to you yesterday so we can do somethin' against him. Brian told me what happened here at the clinic before they took ya to the army camp."

As if guided by a magnetic power, all eyes turned to Michaela's left forearm that rested on the top of her desk. She had to figure out yet how to permanently stabilize her hand whilst it was still swollen. Only her pinky and ring finger were bandaged at the moment. The ugly bruise on the back of her hand forming a half moon, looking like the front part of a boot, was fully visible and told the story itself.

Finding hope in the thought they might be able to press charges against the sergeant and getting off his hook, Michaela nodded.

"You are right," she agreed as she looked back at her son. "We need to find a way to stop O'Connor."

And so she told them.

While Michaela averted her eyes as she talked, the men glanced at each other now and then. When she came to the incident in the tent, Matthew abruptly rose from his chair. Agitated, he paced the narrow space before the desk. When the report eventually ended his anger exploded and his fist hit the air as he groaned in helpless agony.

Michaela easily read her son's thoughts, "Matthew, he would have found a way to interrogate me without witnesses in any case. You couldn't have held him back."

Exhaling sharply, the young man tried to get a grip on himself. He knew Dr. Mike was right but he still felt guilty for abandoning her, if only for a couple of days. As it had turned out, a lot could happen even in so short a time.

Yet before he was able to blame himself more for not having been there when his siblings and Dr. Mike needed him, she surprised him with announcing a request.

"I have a favor to ask," Michaela began, instantly having both men's full attention.

Thoughtfully she looked at her hand before she continued. She wanted that the sergeant paid for what he'd done to her children and her, but she wanted to handle it without all town knowing what had happened. If she allowed herself to be seen as a victim her fight against O'Connor might be only seen as her desire for revenge. That was not her intention. This man needed to be stopped because he was evil, not because she had crossed his way.

At last she raised her head. Could she trust Matthew and Daniel? She had trusted Sully, and as a result her family's life had turned into a nightmare. But the moment the doubt entered her mind she reproached herself. She couldn't afford to reject the few friends she still had.

Squaring her shoulders she looked from Matthew to Daniel and back as she said firmly, "I want you to promise me that no one will ever learn about what O'Connor did to me."  
"But…" Mathew instantly protested yet Daniel laid his hand on his arm, silencing him.

"If we wanna press charges against him, we need to say what happened in that tent," Sully's friend reasoned, waiting for his words to sink in.

Michaela frowned and then nodded. "That's alright. But I don't want anyone in town to know."

When Matthew was about to start protesting again, she added, "Or our friends. Least of all the family."

Her pleading gaze held her oldest son's eyes until he gave in. He had to admit that it wasn't necessary for Colleen and Brian to hear the details; they already had enough to deal with.

It didn't even occur to him that Sully might be included in his mother's plea, too.

"Alright," he conceded, sitting down again. "Here's what I thought we ought to do…"

They never heard his plan for suddenly all hell broke loose outside. Gun fire and war cries preceded a bunch of dog soldiers that eventually galloped their horses along the main street. Some brandished their weapons, others randomly shot at the houses, not caring what or whom they hit.

When glass shattered upstairs, Michaela forgot that her hand wasn't splinted. She jumped up from her chair, pushing it back crying frantically, "Colleen!"

Her legs, however, didn't carry her to the door like her motherly reflex demanded. They gave in, having registered the unbearable pain sooner than Michaela felt it: She had used both hands to support herself on the top of her desk in order to straighten up faster.

Hearing both, Katie's wailing and Colleen calling down reassuringly that only a window was broken she sank back on her chair. Leaning against its back she closed her eyes, whispering, "Could one of you please go to Grace's and look if Brian is alright?"

Yet the boy already stormed in, looking around frantically. "Anyone hurt?" he asked out of breath and only calmed down once Colleen entered the room with Katie in her arms.

Michaela sighed in relief. Her family was safe.

For now.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Not everyone in town was just relieved after the renegades were gone, chased out of town by soldiers. Through the clinic window the family and Daniel could witness how Hank started a confrontation with Jake.

"That's it," he barked, "we're gonna board up the windows!"

"Just settle down," Jake said evenly, but his attempt to soothe his friend was in vain.

"Ya know how much they cost!" Hank was yelling now, spilling out his anger. "We just had to replace two of them!"

With his temper beginning to flare as well, Jake raised his voice too, "Nobody's gonna stay here if they think it ain't safe! You board up the windows – you can kiss this business goodbye!"

But Hank had a better argument and shouted it in his partner's face, "I'd like to have a business left standing when this is over, Jake!"

In utter frustration he fired his gun at the soil ground as he headed back into the saloon, leaving Jake behind who quietly shook his head about the stubbornness of his friend.

No one inside of the clinic commented on what they'd just heard, instead Michaela announced, "I have to see if anyone is hurt."

Not waiting for a response she left the room, stepping out onto the porch. As she looked up and down the empty street the others joined her.

"Everyone's alright, Ma," Colleen said softly, touching Michaela's shoulder. "Or they would've called for you."

"I'm not so certain about that," Michaela replied, trying to keep her resignation at bay.

"I am." Her daughter was firm. "And you should rest," she added as she shifted her little sister in her arms before she gently guided her mother back into the clinic.

The men and Brian stayed outside though, watching the street slowly filling with people again. Yet something didn't sit right with Daniel and he eventually turned to Matthew.

"I don't understand why the renegades come to town with the army campin' on the meadow. They should know that they don't have a chance to gain anythin'," he said, his tone slightly puzzled.

Matthew nodded in understanding; he had been wondering the same last night after the first attack.

"I talked to Sergeant McKay earlier," he began to explain the situation. "They have all the woman and children from the reservation at their camp. Palmer Creek's closed and they have order to take them to East Fork."

"I see." Daniel nodded thoughtfully. He remembered Sully writing him about Cloud Dancing almost dying at that place.

They stayed silent for some minutes and continued watching the street, but an idea began to form in Daniel's mind. "Ya said O'Connor is gone," he turned to Matthew again. "What about McKay? He a reasonable man?"

"Yeah," the young man replied, wondering where this would lead.

"Michaela said Sully and his Indian friend are heading to the Northern Cheyenne territory." Daniel spoke slowly as the plan began to take shape. "How 'bout we suggest that they take the women and children there? Then the renegades ain't havin' no reason to attack the town again."

Matthew looked at Daniel in astonishment. Why hadn't he thought of that? Now even more than before he was glad Sully's friend was here. "Great idea," he nodded in appreciation. "It's worth a try."

Brian had quietly listened. He liked Daniel's way of thinking for it meant they wouldn't go against the law but still help. He was about to re-enter the clinic in order to spread the news when a commotion at the mercantile distracted him.

A man and a boy, both clutching something to their chest, fought their way through the gathering crowd whilst Loren appeared in the doorframe of the store, angrily shaking his fist after them.

"Stop them," he shouted, "They're thieves!"

Before people reacted, the two fleeing were already approaching the clinic.

Without hesitating, Matthew and Daniel simultaneously started down from the porch.

"I'll take the boy," Matthew said, already on the street.

After only a few seconds both thieves struggled to get free from their captors' firm grips on their upper arms.

"Ya set a fine example for your boy," Daniel glared at the man he led somewhat roughly away from the middle of the street.

"You can talk!" the man spit back, "We're starvin'!"

Yet Daniel wasn't impressed; he knew how it felt to be hungry. "And ya think teachin' your son how to steal is a solution?" he asked, his tone icy.

That silenced the father, even more so a look at his boy who stood next to the sheriff, his head hanging in shame.

Matthew glanced at Daniel before he instructed the man, "You're gonna apologize to Mr. Bray and give the things you stole back. For this time, I'll let you go with a warning. The next time I'll put ya in jail. Ya understand?"

Five minutes later on their way back to the clinic after escorting the thieves to the mercantile, Matthew explained to Daniel, "Normally I'd put him in the cell for a few hours. If he's not a lost case, that's usually enough to keep him from stealin' again. But I haven't managed yet to repair the jail."

As he held open the clinic door for the young sheriff, Daniel promised, "I'll help ya."

Matthew smiled at him as they both entered the examination room where the others were waiting for them. "Actually, that's what I hoped for," he admitted and added, "My plan was to ask ya whether you'd agree if I make ya my deputy."

"Sure," Daniel said, wiping his brow with his forearm. "That's why I'm here. I came to help."

Turning to Michaela who sat behind her desk again and had followed the conversation, Matthew explained, "With Daniel workin' as deputy I'll have some time to study the law books that are still at my office. I wanna find out what we have to do to press charges against Sergeant O'Connor."

Everyone was watching for Michaela's reaction, and when the first genuine smile in days lit up her face, Brian beamed, saying what everyone was hoping for, "It's gonna be alright again, Ma."

He rushed to her as she opened her right arm so she could give him at least half a hug. Feeling his soft hair touching her cheek she murmured, "Yes, Brian."

She said it against her better judgment.

xxx

It was early afternoon when the small group reached the place that was called Red Feather Lakes. Over a wide area of still untouched wilderness several ponds and lakes were scattered here. No two were alike: some were surrounded by pines standing straight and tall like a dark-green wall, others lay more in the open with only a few spruces and birches on its sandy shores.

Sully chose one of the northern lakes for them to rest. The water's edge was rocky here which would make it easier to hide in case he'd fish later.

They had made it to today's destination far sooner than anticipated and could still cover quite a distance before dusk - if they wanted. But Sully preferred to stop for they all needed a break. Little Arrow had had a bad night; he'd woken up several times, crying. When it first happened, the boy had been deeply ashamed until Cloud Dancing assured him that mourning your mother was a natural thing to do and that his tears helped the heart to heal. Since White Fawn was the only one who was able to soothe her brother back to sleep she was overtired as well, and although Cloud Dancing slowly recovered from his injuries he was still in a lot of pain.

In addition, they would soon leave the slopes of the Rocky Mountains for a while and had to cross plains with only little cover, so if they stayed at the lake until the late evening they could rest, find some food and give the horses time to graze. Resuming their riding shortly before nightfall would help them kill two birds with one stone: whilst the light of the dwindling day could guide them safely through the thinning woods, the darkness of the night would protect them on their way over the flat land until they reached the hills south of Casper.

Sully didn't have to explain that to Cloud Dancing. The Cheyenne was familiar with this route for it was still almost identical to the one leading to the Black Hills. The children, on the other hand, didn't ask why they already halted but were thankful for the opportunity to stretch their bodies after they jumped down from Sully's horse. It was quite cramped on the animal's back with three people sitting there.

The day was hot and the still surface of the water they could see through a gap between two large rocks practically begged for being broken. Again, no words were needed to express the wish for a bath in the cool water.

"Let us first make sure we are alone," Cloud Dancing advised as he looked at the children, lowering himself onto the grass at the spot where they had built their makeshift camp.

Curiously, Little Arrow eyed the medicine man and Sully, who already sat next to him.

"How?" the boy wondered. He'd never heard that you could search your surroundings by sitting down.

"We listen," the Cheyenne explained, smiling indulgently.

Without hesitating, White Fawn followed the men's example. Although she'd attended the white man's school at the reservation her mother had insisted that she was equally taught the old ways of her people. One rule said you never question the elders' decisions.

After glancing at his sister, Little Arrow sat down as well. Crossing his legs like everyone else he waited for instructions yet they never came. In the contrary, both men closed their eyes and looked as if they were falling asleep. He soon learned that this impression was deceptive.

"We listen to Mother Earth," Cloud Dancing said quietly. "She tells us whether we are alone. We strain our ears and concentrate on the sounds around us. Do we hear the rustling of leaves on the ground? Do the birds cry because they have been disturbed?"

Now the boy understood and closed his eyes, too.

Sully, blending out the voices, heard the typical light splashing of fish swimming right under the surface of the water. That was why he decided to catch them a late lunch before he refreshed himself.

They found no evidence for other people being around, and whilst Cloud Dancing and the children took their much needed bath, Sully sat on a rock far enough from them so his fishing wouldn't be disturbed.

Holding a fishing pole he'd quickly put together, he patiently waited for his prey to bite, but the solitude gave him time to think as well. Now that he'd finally turned his helpless desperation about Cloud Dancing's situation into acting on his instincts, he began to feel whole again. Yet there was something that began to worry him. Until now, he'd ridden on a high adrenalin level but it was wearing off, and he feared it might affect his ability to focus. They hadn't even made half of the way yet, and the hard part was still to come. Although the plains were mostly uninhabited they would be in constant danger of being detected because they could easily be spotted. Riding at night wouldn't make the task much easier; the lack of enough sleep would eventually catch up with them.

He couldn't dwell on this thought longer for his fishing line suddenly moved. It was an excited "Oh!" though that startled him.

Turning towards the voice he realized that Little Arrow had obviously watched him, and Sully relaxed.

"Wanna pull it out?" he asked the boy who was sitting on a rock behind him.

Lithely like a cat the young Arapaho came down to him to the water's edge, taking over the pole. His excitement made Sully grin, reminding him of Brian, as did the jerk Little Arrow gave the line.

"Easy, son," Sully chuckled, gently guiding the child's arm.

Yet with Brian now on his mind he couldn't help but think of his family. He hoped that at least his plan for them had worked: with telling Michaela nothing about what he intended to do he'd made sure that she didn't have to lie to the army plus she couldn't give away what she didn't know.

Deep down he knew that there was another reason for his excluding her but he wasn't ready to already acknowledge that. He couldn't afford questioning himself, not as long as he was responsible for the lives of three other people.

Thus he ignored the sudden tug at his heart as he wondered how Michaela had taken his sudden disappearance. He was sure his wife understood and knew that he only did what he had to do.

Taking in a deep breath he turned his attention back to the task at hand. With well practiced moves he took the fish from the hook, killed it and gave it to Little Arrow, advising, "Take it to your sister. Tell her she can already start preparin' it. I'll be back with some more in a few minutes."

Their afternoon was peaceful.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sully had studied the map again, and after consulting Cloud Dancing it was decided that they would continue traveling around five in the evening. The men took turns in guarding their camp and napping while the children were advised to rest as long as possible. It was easy for them to fall asleep; after their first real meal in days their eyelids soon grew heavy.

Knowing that it would be difficult to find food during the upcoming days, Sully caught some more fish and prepared them for drying; yet with the silence and solitude of the afternoon unwanted thoughts returned to him. Simply blocking them out didn't work anymore, now that he was closer by himself than he had been in months. When he'd learned that Cloud Dancing had almost been beaten to death he'd willingly entered the dark tunnel that didn't allow him to see anything but the fear that he might be too late with preparing his brother's escape. Fortunately the medicine man was now gaining strength again, and if they managed to get up to the Northern Cheyenne territory there was a real chance for him to live a free life for the rest of his days.

However, with Brian entering his mind earlier a strange feeling had settled inside of Sully's chest. It grew with every passing hour, making take in deep breaths almost impossible. Although he wasn't able to exactly interpret the sensation he at least knew it was a warning. He only couldn't tell whether it was about his family in Colorado Springs or rather about an approaching danger on this trip.

Assuming the latter because it was the obvious he was particularly careful when they eventually resumed their way north.

Much to his relief their riding through the woods was uneventful and he even dared, after he was sure they'd crossed the border to Wyoming by then, to lead them along the forest's edge. If need be, they could quickly vanish into the protection of the wood again.

No one was around though, and they continued riding after dusk. The hot day quickly turned into a starlit night, and in addition a full moon provided them with enough light for them to travel safely. It was close to midnight when they finally reached the place from where they would start crossing the plains.

This last wood they passed through was a small one surrounded by even land, like a rocky promontory overlooking a bay. Around two hundred yards before them was stretching a long line of stamped soil, trodden by thousands and thousands of feet and hooves, leading straight from east to west.

"Rattlesnake Pass," Cloud Dancing said quietly. From now on, the land would be new to him.

He knew from the map though that they had still to cover thirty-five miles through rather flat land without trees before they would see the range of hills that were their destination for this part of the trip. Casting a searching look at his friend in order to gauge his mood he decided it was time to make it clear that he would take responsibility again.

"White Fawn should ride with me from now on," he suggested, his voice firm.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sully instantly rejected the plan, adjusting the boy's arms that reached from behind around his waist. "You're still in pain, and who knows what ridin' in twos will do to your wound."

Yet the medicine man didn't give in. Not this time. "We are faster when we each take a child, letting them sit in front of us and hold on to the mane like White Fawn does now." Turning his eyes to the boy sitting behind Sully he affirmed rather than asked, "You can do that, can you?"

Little Arrow nodded eagerly. It would be a relief not having to try to keep a grip on Sully whilst his cheek rested against the man's back. He would finally get a full view of the land surrounding them.

Sully didn't like it, but he was aware that his brother had a point.

"Alright," he nodded, "We'll give it a try."

His words weren't out yet when both Arapahos already climbed down from his horse. Sully, however, still went on, "But as soon as… What?"

Cloud Dancing's form had gone rigid, and Wolf, who had been quiet all along the way, let out a low growl.

"Riders from the east," the Cheyenne said, turning his horse back to the wood.

xxx

Sergeant O'Connor was quite pleased with himself. Having changed horses already twice, first at Fort Lupton and then at Fort Collins, he and his men had been able to reach the plains of Wyoming after only thirty-six hours of relentless riding. Half of the way was covered.

He was going to Yellowstone National Park in spite of his conviction that Mrs. Sully had lied to him, yet by proving this he could add to the charges he would press against her as soon as he returned to Colorado Springs.

Their next stop was Camp Brown around one hundred and fifty miles ahead. Depending on how his men were holding up they would only change horses again and immediately continue on their way. He knew though that his companions' patience with him was wearing thin for he had only allowed them a couple of hours of sleep since they'd left their base camp in Colorado.

One of the two soldiers with him was the young boy who witnessed the interrogation of the doctor. O'Connor hadn't made up his mind yet what to do with him. The easiest solution would be having him involved in a battle, no matter how small. It was normal that soldiers were shot to death during a fight. There was, however, Sergeant McKay to consider who would grow even more suspicious than he already was.

Although O'Connor was not afraid of what the man could possibly report he still knew that he needed to be careful. Not all of his superiors approved of his methods like General Wooden who wouldn't mind if he killed every Indian and Indian friend that crossed his way. There were too many of President Grant's officers in the army by now. All they wanted was the Indian matter to be settled quickly and quietly, without losing their face in front of the public. It was this kind of officers who'd already cautioned him twice. The army, however, was O'Connor's life and he had no desire to leave it.

With all these thoughts on his mind he still paid attention to his surroundings. He'd taken several possibilities regarding Mr. Sully's whereabouts into consideration. One of them was that he was actually heading north, and if he'd calculated right the two fugitives could already have made it up to this place. Thus he kept checking the edge of the woods on their left as if his arch enemy would appear there any minute, and if he did he would be ready to strike.

When it actually happened, O'Connor's heart leapt inside of his chest. As he caught a movement between the trees only a few hundred yards ahead of them he didn't doubt for one second the identity of those who were hiding behind the trees.

Since he was leading their group he didn't have to command his soldiers; they simply followed suit as he pulled at the reins, forcing his horse to halt.

O'Connor didn't give an explanation when he pointed to the suspicious spot, saying matter-of-factly, "We're gonna take a closer look there."

The moment Sully recognized Sergeant O'Connor a chill raced through his veins. He didn't have to think, he knew what to do.

"Ya take the kids back. I'll distract them," he said in a low tone, getting ready to ride out into the open.

Yet Cloud Dancing held his hand up to stop him. Bending down to the children he whispered something in Cheyenne, and before Sully could react, they ran out from their hiding place, pretending to play tag.

Dumbfounded by the sight of a girl chasing after a small boy, O'Connor stopped his horse again.

"What the hell…" he huffed not trusting his eyes, especially when the children suddenly stopped upon noticing them. Stunned he watched as they waved in their direction and then vanished between the trees again, only leaving the sound of a light giggle behind.

For his men this was it. They looked at him questioningly, expecting to be ordered back onto the road.

Yet the sergeant didn't believe in children appearing from nowhere in which they disappeared again. Not in an uninhabited place in the middle of the night, not when he was searching for two men whose nature it was to deceive.

"It's a trick," he decided, getting ready to start towards the treeline again.

The two soldiers glanced at each other, fearing their officer had lost it after riding like a maniac for almost two days with only little sleep in between. They were tired and hungry and had enough from being treated as if they were just horses. In fact, at the moment they would prefer to be horses for then they would have been exchanged.

"I thought we're after a white male and an Indian," the older one dared to object.

"And I say it's a trick!" O'Connor growled, glowering at the man.

"How?" The soldier was incredulous. "Ya think they are in disguise?"

"How dare you, Martins! Don't forget who you're talkin' to!" O'Connor was glaring daggers by now, not wanting to waste any more minute.

"But ya said we need to get to Camp Brown as soon as possible," the young soldier spoke up now as well. He had met Mr. Sully's son Brian at the reservation. "And we don't have a reason to think these kids are with Mr. Sully," he added, blushing about his boldness but still continued, "They ain't his."

That was the first argument that went through to the sergeant. As certain as he was that Sully was hiding from him just a few hundred yards away, as well did he know that the boy and the girl had no connection to him.

Sully had been holding his breath until the soldiers turned back to the street. To be precise, all four of them had. They stood impossibly still until even the last faint sound of hooves beating the road subsided.

Only then did Sully shift on his horse and looked at Cloud Dancing.

"What's O'Connor doin' here?" he burst out, not able to contain his anxiety any longer.

He knew the answer though, and, without knowing it, he was as sincere as the sergeant had been that it was him hiding behind the trees. Thus he answered his own question, "He's lookin' for us."

"He is riding west," Cloud Dancing pointed out quietly, although he shared Sully's suspicion.

"I can see that." Sully was about to lose his nerves which made him impatient. "But what's he doin' here in the first place?"`

Cloud Dancing sensed rather than saw the children drawing closer to him and knew they needed to find an answer to this question soon. If the sergeant was in the area because he knew about their destination, someone in Colorado Springs must have talked. There were only two possibilities, and so he explored the first one.

"How much did you tell Dr. Mike?" he wanted to know, keeping anything that could be interpreted as an accusation away from his tone.

Sully didn't take offence about the question's indications. After all, his fearing Michaela could give away anything, even if only unconsciously, had been one of the reasons he'd kept her in the dark.

"Nothin'," he simply replied, frowning as the truth of his brother's former words sank in. The soldiers were heading in a different direction than theirs; they'd just crossed ways. Coincidences happened. They simply should resume riding.

Yet the Cheyenne thought he hadn't heard right. "What do you mean with _nothing_?"

"What it says," Sully replied, with his thoughts already on the way.

Only when his friend's silence stretched he glanced at him again, wondering what was wrong.

"You should go home," Cloud Dancing said firmly, holding his white brother's gaze. He could not even start to imagine what Dr. Mike was going through; she must be worried beyond measure.

Sully, however, slowly shook his head. He knew he owed Michaela some explanations but not before he finished what he'd started. "I'll take ya all up north like I promised. Ya still need my help, and ya know it," he at last retorted, matching his brother's determination.

With that, the topic was closed for him, and Cloud Dancing acknowledged that this mission was important to his friend. He would not question that.

It was around two in the morning when each rider adjusted the child sitting before him and gently kicked their horses' side, urging them into a canter. The North Star guided them.

xxx

At the same time, Michaela lit the lamp at her bedside again. She gave up on her attempt to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It was nearly three in the morning yet Michaela didn't sleep. She sat at the vanity, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The dim light of the oil lamp next to her bed graciously softened the dark rings under her eyes, but she didn't see them anyway.

The longer Sully was gone, the more questions arose, and at the moment she was wondering what was wrong with her. She had loved two men and they'd dearly loved her back. That she was certain of. They'd promised to share their life with her but it didn't take long for either of them to plan their future without her. Why had she lost their respect? How had she failed them?

She would never forget the expression on her father's face when David broached the news that he would join the army and leave in two days. They'd sat at the dinner table and she'd dropped her fork upon hearing her fiancé's words. Her mother, as usual, only cared about her misbehavior and cast her a disapproving look. She didn't understand, yet her father did. For the first time in her life Michaela detected pity for her in his eyes. He'd never felt sorry for her before, not when several universities rejected her or male colleagues refused to acknowledge her as a professional. He knew she would fight and was bound to reach her goal in the end. This time, however, she didn't have the chance. This was about feelings; you can't fight for being loved the way you want it.

Of course she wouldn't have held back David from working in the army; she knew how desperate doctors were needed. All she'd wished for was that he'd discussed the topic with her before he made his decision. Then she would have known that their relationship was as important to him as it was to her. It was humiliating to find out that her opinion didn't matter.

However, as devastating as it was to learn so many years ago that her fiancé had made a decision that might take him away from her for good - this time it was worse.

Sully and she were married. They'd made vows to each other. Knowing his honorable nature she'd never thought he would break any of them. Finding out that he had kept quitting his job at Preston's from her was nothing compared to the realization that he'd prepared his going away right under her nose. She still couldn't believe that he'd brought the horses for the Indians' escape to their property whilst making all family believe they were Robert E.'s.

Sully had lied without blinking.

Yet not this or the still unfathomable truth that he vanished without even saying goodbye was the worst. She'd once arrogantly told Marjorie that Sully would never leave her for some trollop. Although she was still right about that it didn't change the fact that she was alone with their children now. Leaving them was what she would never forgive him.

Growing agitated by this thought Michaela rose from her seat, hoping a look at the starry sky would soothe her nerves. Once at the window she pulled it wide open, allowing the soft breeze of the warm summer night to caress her face. She closed her eyes in order to savor this feeling yet sensing that someone was watching her destroyed the moment.

Turning her head she saw one of the soldiers at the post before the house gazing her way. Instantly, she took a step back.

In the morning she'd still thought she could just ignore O'Connor's men, not giving him the satisfaction that their constant presence irritated her. But now she began to feel as if living in a goldfish bowl. They'd searched the wagon when the family left for town after breakfast and did the same when they returned home in the evening. Outside of her property she wasn't left alone either; one man followed her on horseback outside of town, and in town her every step was observed as well.

But now the soldiers even watched her inside of her house. How much could they spot from their position? They might not be able to see her undress but they certainly could tell when she went to bed and that she didn't sleep well. No one outside of her family had the right to know such personal things. Feeling new anger rising, she quickly closed the window without looking in the post's direction again.

Then she went back to the bed that Sully had given her as his wedding present. Halting at its foot she looked at the piece of furniture as if seeing it for the very first time. It must have taken weeks to carve the beautiful pattern on the headboard, and the smoothed edges of every board and post showed the care the bed was built with.

She remembered when she first detected it. She'd been insecure, not only because of what would happen in the bed in the near future, but she was also wondering whether Sully secretly wished he'd left with Black Kettle's tribe.

"The Cheyenne are my family and always will be. So are you," he'd assured her, and she'd relaxed upon hearing these words.

She should have listened more carefully. Sully already had a family.

Suddenly she wasn't able to look at the bed anymore, and crawling beneath the covers would be no comfort as it used to be, no matter how dreadful a day she had had. This bed belonged to a couple that was broken now, and she would not sleep in it again.

After taking out a blanket from the drawer, Michaela pulled the rocking chair closer to Katie's cot. In the end, resting in the chair turned out to be even more comfortable than lying in bed. She could use the armrest as support for her still with pain throbbing hand.

xxx

"Michaela, it finally hit me. He's never gonna come back here."

Dorothy stood before her friend in the middle of the street, still breathless from rushing towards her.

Stunned, Michaela stared at the red-haired woman wondering why Sully's disappearance suddenly upset her so much.

Yet Dorothy recognized the puzzlement she'd caused and quickly clarified, "It's Cloud Dancin'. I'll never see him again. Things happened so fast; I never got the chance to tell him…"

She hesitated for a moment; it was still new to her to admit her feelings for an Indian to someone else. Yet she'd come for Michaela's advice, and it would be pointless to hold back now.

That was why she continued, "… what he means to me. I can't eat or sleep thinkin' 'bout it."

Michaela nodded; she understood for she went through a similar torture.

Encouraged by this response Dorothy revealed, "I was thinkin' I'd try to find him. Just to see him one more time… to say goodbye."

Being occupied by her own thoughts, she didn't notice Michaela's tensing up and went on, "I been lookin' at the maps; I know how to get to the Tongue River Valley."

Michaela had studied the route as well: a lot of hills and plains to cross on a way that was around five hundred and fifty miles long. In addition a war was going on out there, not to mention the danger coming from wild animals.

Dorothy would have no one to ask for advice, let alone for help. Michaela still heard her friend out though, even encouraged her to go. She knew about the importance of having a sense of closure in order to go on with your life.

Affirmed in the rightness of her decision Dorothy hugged her friend gratefully and returned to her office, leaving Michaela where she stood.

Cracks of a whip, indiscernible shouts and the clatter of a fast approaching wagon distracted her though. Turning towards the noise Michaela saw a settler from outside of town hopping down from his vehicle in front of the barber shop, calling for Jake.

Jake instantly appeared on his porch, wiping his hands on a towel. "What's wrong?" he asked, assuming a citizen of his town wanted to complain about something to him, the mayor.

As the upset man let down the backboard of his wagon he pleaded urgently, "You gotta help my wife. Indians attacked our place and she hit her head pretty hard."

Attracted by the commotion, Loren came out of Jake's shop too, the newspaper he'd been reading still in his hand. Seeing Michaela heading towards them, he pointed at her, suggesting, "Why don't ya take her to Dr. Mike?"

Of course the old man knew the answer but since he'd never made it to the clinic the day before like planned he was determined to help now.

The settler, however, didn't respond and Jake was pleased that his medical knowledge was appreciated again. Opening his door wide he ushered the man with his precious burden in, ordering to put her on his chair where he turned down the back so the woman was in a half-lying position.

"She's unconscious," he diagnosed, lifting her eyelids.

"Aww, Jake," Loren grumbled, taking a step back to make room for Michaela who was joining them now. "Any fool can see that. Let Dr. Mike do her job."

Yet the settler fervently objected, almost yelling, "No Indian friend is touchin' my Rose!"

He didn't budge though when Michaela carefully palpated his wife's scull with her right hand and examined the wound above the temple that was encrusted with blood. Off Loren's glare, Jake had the sense to stay silent until Michaela straightened again.

"Mrs. Hopkins has a severe concussion," she summarized her findings in a neutral tone, not directing her words to anyone in particular. "And in the wound is a rather long splinter that has to be removed. I'd recommend bed rest for the next 48 hours. Do you have something to sterilize the wound?" she asked, turning towards Jake.

"Uhm…" Torn between his desire to be acknowledged for his medical skills again and the knowledge that Michaela would do a far better job than him, Jake scratched his head, his mind racing trying to figure out what's the right thing to do.

As his gaze traveled the room he saw a smirking Hank leaning with his shoulder against the doorframe, the inevitable cigar between forefinger and thumb. His friend's expression instantly kindled defiance inside of Jake yet when he shifted, his eyes met Loren's.

Watching the mute exchanges and reading it right, the settler insisted again, "No Indian friend will treat my wife."

"Aww, c'mon Hopkins," Loren gently scolded. "That's ridiculous. Ya didn't mind when she saved your boy's life last year and she's been the same Indian friend back then."

Despite herself, Michaela's lips curled up, if only almost imperceptible. She thought it sweet of Loren that he wanted to bring her patients back to her but she wasn't so sure whether he'd found the right argument.

The settler nervously shuffled his feet, still remaining resistant. "It's her husband's fault that we're in trouble again," he glowered at the storekeeper.

"Well, she ain't her husband, now ain't she?" Loren didn't waver, holding Mr. Hopkins' gaze. "And besides, don't ya want the best for your Rose?"

With that, he drove his point home.

"Alright," the settler finally conceded, and only minutes later he carried his wife towards the clinic.

xxx

Two more patients sought her advice over the course of the day, and Michaela dared to hope that she was still the town's doctor. She was, however, realistic enough to recognize that her financial trouble still increased. That was why she eventually wrote the letter to her mother, asking for her help with Colleen's tuition fees that were due in a month. As she explained her situation she played it down though and never mentioned the danger her family was in. She knew her mother - she would instantly come and meddle, and although meaning the best she would make things worse.

The next step Michaela would take was talking to Daniel. She met him on her way back from the mercantile where she had thanked Loren for his help in the morning. Of course the old man didn't want to hear of it but she could tell that he was pleased with her acknowledging what he'd done.

Waiting until Daniel was close enough so they could speak in private, Michaela considered how to broach the subject.

"Ready to go home?" he asked as he closed the distance between them. Matthew and he had just finished putting up a new front for the sheriff office and thought Michaela wanted to call it a day as well.

She didn't reply immediately but brushed some hair out of her face, still searching for the right words. As he eventually stood before her, Daniel recognized her worry mixed with embarrassment and quickly contemplated what it was that upset her.

Of course he was aware that there was a lot for her to be worried about. Sully had left her in a mess that would challenge all their skills to clear it up. But he was determined not to leave this family until it was, and Michaela knew she could rely on him. In the middle of this thought it hit him.

He ducked his head so she would look at him and could see that he was sincere. "Forget about the money Sully thinks he owes me. That's somethin' between him and me."

Surprised, Michaela lifted her head. She hadn't expected that she was so easily to read. "But…" she started to protest yet Daniel cut her off.

"No buts. That money can wait. We got more important things to think about." Seeing her relax somewhat he smiled, "Good."

As they slowly began to walk towards the clinic, Michaela remembered that she needed another favor before they left town.

Glancing at Daniel she asked, "Would you mind putting the cot from the examination room on the wagon?" Anticipating his question she explained, "It's time for Katie to move to her own room, but I don't want her to sleep alone. Not yet."

Daniel nodded. "Consider it bein' done."

He had a pretty good idea about what it really was that made her flee from the master bedroom. He stayed silent though. No need to rub salt in the wound.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sully and Cloud Dancing sat across from each other, bent over the map. They wanted to be sure that they choose the right way for the night.

Like planned, they had made it to the edge of the hills south of Casper in the morning. After giving themselves and their horses some rest, they used the cover of the slopes and trees during the day to get as far north as possible, but now they had to decide whether it was better to cross the North Platte River east or west of the small town.

In the west, the river came straight down from the mountains and was around a hundred and fifty feet wide. The current was strong here, but these disadvantages were compensated by the much smaller danger to be spotted.

On the other hand it would be a lot easier to reach the opposite bank east of Casper because the river, after a ninety degree bend, did not only flow slower but also had several places where it divided itself into two or even three more shallow and narrow arms. This area was more densely populated though, and in addition it was under surveillance by the army that had its post at Fort Fetterman around fifteen miles away.

This would be the last time they had to pass a place full of soldiers, and they didn't want to endanger the entire trip because they were too careless now that their destination was close.

"I'd say we're gonna try it here," Sully suggested, pointing to a spot where the river still flew with full force.

He waited patiently for his friend's response, yet his outside calmness was only a veneer.

Although already twenty-four hours had gone by and they'd covered the distance of a hundred miles since then, he was still reeling from meeting O'Connor. The more he thought about it, the surer he became that they hadn't crossed ways by chance. After the first shock had subsided and he was able to think more clearly again, he realized that the sergeant was heading towards the new National Park.

On the long and quiet ride through the woods during the now dwindling daylight Sully had brooded over the question what O'Connor might want at Yellowstone for there weren't any Indians to chase. Although Nature was honored there the way the Indians cherished it, it was a park established by the government of the United States and cared for by its employees.

Whichever way Sully looked at it there was only one conclusion: O'Connor was after a white man. It was easy for Sully to guess who that was.

Yet that led to the next question: why would the sergeant expect him to be there? Only one person knew that he'd once considered moving to that place. Michaela. She must have told O'Connor that he was at Yellowstone.

Knowing how much Michaela hated lying Sully couldn't help but worry what it was that had compelled her to do so. He tried to reach her spirit, find their connection deep within himself, yet to no avail.

The knot inside of his chest had long loosened but the emptiness which had replaced it scared him even more. He needed to know what was going on in Colorado Springs, and for that it was essential to finish this mission not only quickly but safely, too. That was why he was willing to take the, in his eyes, more acceptable risk and cross the river where it was still wide.

Cloud Dancing sensed Sully's inner turmoil; he knew better though than to address it. If his brother was ready to talk, he would do so. For now they had to focus and contemplate the assets and drawbacks of both routes.

According to his experiences from his time with the renegades, the soldiers wouldn't expect enemies to be bold enough to appear between town and the fort. Apart from that, Fort Fetterman as the northernmost military post with its remote location was not considered a desirable place to be stationed. The soldiers' moral wasn't very high and desertions were quite frequent. Supplies had to be brought in by wagon from Fort Laramie in the southeast or from the even farther away located Medicine Bow Station on the railroad. The soil in and around the fort proved to be ineffective for sustaining gardens, so fresh vegetables were not available. The water had to be carried up the steep bluffs from the river or nearby creek, so being stationed at Fort Fetterman was already hard enough and the soldiers did only the minimum in order to protect the Bozeman trail and other routes that were used by settlers.

Taking all that into consideration, Cloud Dancing made his decision. After casting a look at the children who lay stretched out on a patch of grass, he turned to his white brother.

"I believe it is safer to take a little detour and cross the river here." He pointed to a spot on the map that showed the river divided into two arms east of Casper.

Not having expected that, Sully frowned and silently waited for his friend to elaborate which he immediately did.

Not liking the delay this route would provide, Sully still acknowledged that Cloud Dancing was right. The two Arapahos were exhausted from the lack of sleep, and their only meager meals didn't help to keep them strong either. Of course the children didn't complain, but Little Arrow had already drifted off a few times while they were riding. When it happened first, the boy almost slid from the horse, and only Sully's good reflexes saved him from tumbling to the ground. Both kids would need help for crossing the river.

Their horses were in a rather bad shape as well after four days of traveling with only the necessary breaks. Since the map didn't show how deep the water was on the west side it was possible that the animals would have to swim. There was no way of knowing whether they were able to make it.

Locking eyes with Cloud Dancing Sully nodded almost imperceptibly, folded the map and rose to his feet.

"Let's go," he said quietly, and the group started the last stage of their way to the Indian Territory.

They were careful and luck was on their side. No one noticed them, and again they would ride all night and only stop for the horses to rest and water. They would cross wide valleys, ranges of hills and eventually a fork of the Powder River, not meeting one single soul. Only after reaching the foot of the Bighorn Mountains in the middle of the morning would they build a camp again, taking a longer break.

Freedom for the three Indians was close.

xxx

Michaela sat in her chair at her desk in the examination room, lost in thoughts. The clinic had become her sanctuary over the last days; here she could pretend that her life was still normal. Patients came to see her on a regular base again; Katie either played in her corner or slept in the recovery room that had been adjusted to her needs, and Colleen helped wherever she could. Brian popped in now and then, keeping her informed about what he was doing and asking whether his help was needed. She hadn't seen much of Matthew before, and that hadn't changed either. Yet now he had help with his job as sheriff.

Daniel's presence had turned out to be a true blessing, not only for her family but the entire town. After another Indian attack three days ago he had talked to Sergeant McKay again about sending the women, children and old men to the free territory in the north. Fortunately McKay eventually saw the reason in this suggestion. He wasn't interested in destroying the Indians but just in restoring peace in the area. That was why only the captured dog soldiers would be taken to the East Fork Reservation.

Another plan, however, hadn't worked. Exhausted and dirty, with an ugly slash across her brow Dorothy was already back in Colorado Springs.

She had taken the road leading north, assuming that it was a safe to travel on it. She had been right to a certain degree and managed to cover more than a hundred miles when she ran into a trap set up by renegades for an army patrol. The soldiers were riding around fifty yards in front of her when suddenly the bushes which lined the road became alive. She couldn't remember much after she woke up in an army bed at Fort Collins, only that she had received a blow to her forehead that sent her to the ground in rather rough a manner.

Once she felt strong enough again, Dorothy decided to go back to Colorado Spring, taking the train this time. Actually, she didn't have much of a choice for all she had left was the small bag with a few coins she'd carried on her belt.

Remembering the mix of emotions she'd felt when she saw Dorothy entering the clinic Michaela sighed. It had been too late for stitches but the army doctor had at least cleansed the wound properly. But it wasn't the injury that had disturbed her the most; it was the reminder of how dangerous it was out there, even if you were traveling a solid road and without being a wanted person.

Usually Michaela pushed any thought about Sully in the back corner of her mind as soon as it arose, simply for she still wasn't able to handle what he had done to their family. But of course she didn't want him to get hurt, or even worse.

However, when Dorothy was done with her report she posed a question that totally threw Michaela off balance.

"What do you think," her friend had asked. "Will Sully take me north once he's back? I can't bear the thought of never seein' Cloud Dancin' again."

Fortunately Daniel had saved her from losing her composure. He'd knocked at the door and entered upon her, "Come in!"

The weird thing, however, was that she couldn't even tell why Dorothy's question unsettled her so much.

To be honest, she still couldn't grasp it. Maybe it was just something simple – like the selfish desire that her best friend would recognize her desperation without her having to spell it out to her. Maybe she just hoped for some advice on how to get through it.

Michaela's trail of thought was abruptly interrupted at this point when without an announcement the door was flung open.

xxx

Daniel was about to finish preparing his horse for riding to a homestead outside of town when approaching horses and shouts on the road distracted him. Stepping forward in order to have a better view he saw three soldiers coming from the woods. While two of them took the direction to the army camp on the meadow, the third one continued on the road and barked at the couple of soldiers that was guarding the bank, "Muller, Sands, with me!"

The officer didn't wait though until they moved but was already on the main street when his men started to follow him.

"O'Connor!" Daniel heard Matthew's horrified voice next to him. "How can he already be back?"

The name, however, instantly put Daniel into action.

"They all at the clinic?" he asked, wanting to make sure that no member of the family was in danger to be caught alone.

"Colleen's havin' breakfast with Andrew at Grace's and Brian's with Anthony," Matthew replied. "I'll take care of them," he added, putting the law book he'd studied onto the window sill before he left for the livery.

Daniel didn't take the time to respond; he already run towards the clinic. When he bent around the corner he saw the barkeeper crossing the street with long strides, and they both arrived at the clinic door at the same moment.

"Ya need help in there?" Hank asked. His tone was mocking yet his eyes showed his concern.

"Couldn't hurt," Daniel nodded as he opened the entrance. This wasn't the time for playing the hero.

One look at the scene told the two men that they had just made it in time.

Michaela still sat in her chair, flanked by a soldier on each side. O'Connor stood bent over her desk, supporting himself with one hand on its top whilst he pointed with his forefinger against Michaela's face, saying full with satisfaction, "And now I'll arrest ya."

The sergeant hadn't paid attention to the door opening and closing again and startled around when he heard a strange voice ask, "Arrest her for what?"

O'Connor had never before seen his vis-à-vis. Noticing the wavy blonde hair that was underlining the soft features the sergeant concluded that this man wasn't a thread.

"You're interfering with army business. Get out of here," he said dismissively, shifting his position so he could turn his attention back to Mrs. Sully.

Whilst Hank's temper was rising, Daniel stayed calm. He'd had several days to prepare himself for this situation.

"Well," he retorted as he ran his hand through his hair, "let me see if I got that right: you're with the army, the army has to answer to the government which is workin' for the people of this country. That means you're kinda here for me, and I wanna know why you think ya can arrest her."

Not having expected such boldness, O'Connor faced the man before him again. Yet for the second time he chose the wrong approach when he spat at Daniel, "I don't have to answer ya, you're just a damned civilian."

As if accepting this reply, Daniel nodded, "So is Dr. Quinn."

At this moment Matthew joined them, his little brother right behind him. Matthew had tried to convince Brian to wait for him at the mercantile. He knew that Loren wouldn't allow anyone to get close to the boy, but Brian had flatly refused. His ma was in danger and no one could make him stay away.

"What's the charge?" Matthew asked in a business-like tone, giving O'Connor another surprise.

The sergeant recovered quickly though. "Helpin' a wanted man to escape by lyin' to the army," he said somewhat triumphantly.

"How'd ya know she lied?" Hank, calm again, chimed in sounding curios rather than challenging. He was leaning against the wall, looking as if totally uninterested in the discussion.

Whilst O'Connor was still searching for an answer - this question had never occurred to him - Hank already continued, smirking. "If ya wanna arrest ev'ry woman who believes the lies of her husband half of the town'd be empty."

"Sorry," he added shrugging slightly as he looked at Michaela. The barkeeper knew that it was one thing to be fooled but quite another to realize that other people knew about it.

Yet Michaela gave him a half smile. As embarrassing as it was to hear the truth so frankly, Hank had offered them exactly the argument they needed. Squaring her shoulders she straightened on her seat. She didn't have to say anything though for O'Connor recognized he was beaten. At least for now.

Inwardly fuming, he gestured for his men to follow him. "I'm not done with ya," he growled as he pushed his way out between Matthew and Daniel.

He wouldn't let this woman off his hook.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The house stood quiet and no light lit the windows. The night was cloudy, so even if anyone had been awake no one would have noticed the dark figures creeping across the yard. Only a horse in the barn whinnied, making the other animals shuffle their feet nervously.

It was that what woke Daniel who slept on the hayloft. He'd insisted on staying close to the family, just in case. He hadn't actually expected that anything would happen but the sudden noise of splintering wood, yelled commands and men running proved his instincts right.

In his haste to get over to the house he almost failed a rung as he climbed down the ladder. Losing precious seconds he heard more shouts reverberating through the house and heavy boots hit the stairs.

Not fully awake yet, Michaela thought she had another nightmare when she saw a man with a drawn gun in the doorway. Yet then her baby stirred from the noise caused by loud voices and other doors been thrown open which at last woke her, too. While Katie began to wail Michaela desperately tried to get up as fast as possible in order to protect her daughter; yet once again she forgot that she couldn't use both hands. Hissing with pain she eventually straightened to her feet, placing herself between the soldier and her little girl.

In the meantime Matthew's angry arguing could be heard and Brian's protests as well. Only Colleen was still quiet which frightened Michaela more as if she'd screamed.

The soldier on her threshold was only a black silhouette for her room was still dark and only the hallway was dimly lit. The man still didn't budge but continued staring her way until Michaela finally found her voice again.

"Don't you have any decency?" she asked with as much authority as she could muster. "You could at least turn around until I'm dressed!"

To her utter relief Colleen now appeared, pushing her way into the room instantly lifting Katie out of her cot.

"You alright, Ma?" the young girl asked worriedly as she held her sister close, trying to sooth her.

"Did they hurt you?" Michaela queried simultaneously, anxiously trying to read Colleen's face.

"I'm fine, Ma," Colleen quickly assured, helping Michaela with her free hand to don her robe.

Once they turned towards the door again, the soldier was gone.

It took Daniel and Matthew about ten minutes until all strangers were out of the house. O'Connor had been unmoved by their complaints, referring to martial law and that they had reason to believe a fugitive was hiding in the building.

"They ain't gonna disturb us again tonight," Daniel said as he secured the entrance after the last soldier left. "I told O'Connor I'm gonna file an appeal if he dares to barge in here again."

Despite the late, or better said early, hour all family gathered around the kitchen table, including Katie who was about to drift off in her big sister's arms. Everyone else was wide awake.

However, O'Connor's seemingly never ending harassments gnawed at Michaela more than she wanted to admit, especially not in front of the children, but she couldn't help it.

"I don't know how long I can still do that," she said quietly, running her hand over her face as if the exhaustion could be wiped away.

She didn't remember the last time she had managed to sleep longer than three hours in a row. It wasn't because she worked into the depth of the night but because she always woke around two in the morning and simply couldn't fall asleep again. She knew it was only a matter of time until her body would give up and collapse, or even worse: that she made a mistake at the clinic.

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea to take Brian and Katie and go with them to Boston," she thought out loud.

All eyes were on her yet in the contrary to the first time when she made this suggestion no one protested. Even though Daniel and Matthew could already think clearly again they didn't respond for they both silently agreed.

It was this silence, however, that helped Michaela recover from the shock she'd just experienced. Running away was not the solution. But before she elaborated she wanted to know her youngest son's opinion. He'd taken his usual seat next to her, and she covered his hand in his lap with hers.

"Brian," she began, her tone soft and her gaze understanding. "Would you like to go with Katie and me to visit your grandma for a while? Let's say for the rest of summer?"

For a tiny moment, the young boy hesitated. It sounded tempting to leave all the anxiety behind and be pampered in Boston instead, if only for a short time. Yet then he shook his head.

"I don't want O'Connor to think he'd won," he said. And in an attempt to lighten the mood he grinned at his brother across the table, adding, "Besides, Matthew'd have to sleep alone again, and I don't think he'd like that."

Although no one laughed, the tension in the room eased considerably and Michaela relaxed against the back of her chair. As she looked from Daniel to her oldest son and back, she pondered how to say what she thought they needed to do. Both men had already done so much for her and the children, and she didn't know whether she should add to that. After the incident in the morning Daniel and Matthew had taken turns in staying close to the clinic, just in case O'Connor would return. They still did their jobs as sheriff and deputy though, but Matthew didn't find time for the law books. If the family, however, agreed with her plan they would need his knowledge.

Until now everyone had waited for her to resume talking since they sensed that there was more that she wanted to say, but now Brian couldn't take it any longer.

"Ma?" he asked nervously, but Michaela smiled at him.

"I'm fine," she nodded reassuringly. "It is just that I finally realized something."

Having everyone's attention, apart from Katie's who was soundly asleep by now, Michaela revealed her conclusion, "I believe it will not be enough to sue Sergeant O'Connor. We will only be left in peace again when we clear Sully's name."

Hearing Colleen gasp in surprise and recognizing the doubt in Brian's eyes, she quickly admitted, "I don't know yet how we're going to do that but I know we will."

"Actually," Matthew cleared his throat after exchanging a glance with Daniel, "we might have found a way."

"You have?" The prospect of having O'Connor off her back lit up Michaela's face.

"So Sully'll be home again?" Brian chimed in excitedly, looking at his big brother for affirmation.

Matthew could easily read Michaela's expression, and avoiding a direct answer he explained instead, "I was lookin' for what we'd have to do in order to press charges against an army officer. One condition is that you gotta have two witnesses."

As Michaela pressed her hand against her mouth in order to muffle a gasp because she knew that this meant they didn't have a case, he quickly went on. "The good thin' is, that only McKay saw Sully at the reservation durin' the uprisin', so they have only one witness, too. Daniel and I thought we should use this fact."

"How can you be certain that no one else saw Sully?" Michaela wondered, not daring to get her hope up.

"I've asked around at the army camp," Matthew replied. "They told me that once the explosion went off everyone was busy with not getting shot and afterwards with tryin' to catch the Indians."

Michaela let out a long breath. "I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you, Matthew," she said reaching across the table in order to squeeze his hand.

"I did it for my family," the young men retorted, returning Michaela's gesture.

"Thank you," she repeated, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Alright," Daniel rose to his feet. "It's late. I'll stay here at the fireplace for the rest of the night but you all should go upstairs now, get some sleep. We'll talk again in the morning."

xxx

As Sully worked his way back from a sleep so deep it came close to unconsciousness he first heard the low snort of a horse. This sound was familiar but the breath blown across his cheek and something cold touching it didn't make sense.

When he eventually forced his eyelids to part, the sun blinded him and he quickly sat up with a groan. Wolf stood next to him, wagging his tail as if saying it was about time that his master woke, and Sully realized that his faithful companion had nuzzled his face a moment ago.

Squinting up at the sky Sully determined the position of the sun. It was almost noon, and he quietly cursed. At this time of the day he'd wanted to be at least fifty miles more south already.

This wasn't the first delay on his trip back to Colorado Springs. After they'd left the foot of the Bighorn Mountains three days ago, still heading north, they met a group of Indians who stopped them, suspicious because of his presence. No white man was welcome at the free territory, and it had taken a lot of Cloud Dancing's power of persuasion that they allowed him to stay for a brief rest. But that wasn't all yet. They'd led his horse away once he'd dismounted it and simply refused to return it to him.

Of course Sully understood the reason behind this action. Their new land was not only vast but it would also be difficult to find enough food for in huge parts, the soil was barren. Only along the Tongue River would they be able to grow plants, but not everyone could settle there. That was why they would need as much horses as they could get not only for being able to move around but for transporting food as well.

However, he needed his horse because the urge to get back to Colorado Springs grew by the minute, so walking all the way was no option. This time it was Little Arrow and White Fawn who helped. They'd met an old Arapaho who once belonged to their tribe. After telling him their story and how the white man had helped them to get north, the elder spoke to the newly formed council, and Sully was allowed to leave with his horse.

It had pained him to see the conditions Cloud Dancing had to face, but at least he was free. For the moment he wasn't able to do more for his brother.

However, the fight for getting his horse back had cost Sully almost one day, and now he'd lost another half. Obviously his exhaustion had caught up with him, but he felt better now, and after a short but refreshing bath in the small lake he'd made camp at he was on his way again. Only around one hundred and fifty miles did still separate him from his family.

If nothing happened he should be home the next day the latest.

xxx

Daniel had invited them for lunch at Grace's, and Michaela had sent the children with him. She'd excused herself with too much work, which was partly true. But true was also that she didn't feel like sitting at a table and eat. She'd lost her appetite ten days ago.

Apart from that she knew that Daniel wanted to help her this way with her financial situation; he was aware that she simply couldn't afford daily meals for all family at the café anymore. For herself that was alright, she was content with having self-made breakfast and dinner at home. But her children needed more, and for their sake she swallowed her pride and accepted Daniel's generosity.

The little income she still had she used for buying groceries and medical supplies. She'd made a list of the latter and decided it was time to send a telegram to order some things she was running out of. As she passed Matthew's office he instantly joined her. She raised an eyebrow at him because they both knew that O'Connor would never touch her in bright daylight, yet he disarmed her with a grin.

"I need some fresh air," he explained as they reached Horace's office.

At this moment a loud whistling announced an arriving train, and Michaela's reply was drowned by the noise.

When the screeching brakes eventually brought the train to halt, she gave Horace the list she wanted him to wire and spelled the name of the addressee. Yet in midsentence, she suddenly stopped. Matthew looked at her in disbelief that quickly turned into a wide smile, and Michaela knew she'd heard right.

Elizabeth Quinn had arrived.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

While Elizabeth Quinn watched her daughter showing Colleen what to use for setting the dinner table she could sense the anxious look of her eldest on her. They both were deeply worried but had different methods to deal with it. Rebecca would wait for the other party to be ready to talk about the problem that needed to be solved, but her mother always took the initiative herself.

One look at her youngest had been enough for Elizabeth to know that things were much worse than she'd feared anyway. Michaela looked too thin; the dress hung down from her shoulders as if the fabric was far too heavy for the fragile frame underneath. That wasn't the worst though; after all, she had seen her daughter exhausted before, forgetting that eating and sleeping were necessary for keeping physical strength.

It was the haunted expression on Michaela's face lying just beneath the surface that alerted her. As her mother, she knew the signs. Normally, her daughter's unique eyes shone with the bright fire of a strong will or sparkled with kindness and love for those around her, but now every light in them was extinguished. Of course Michaela did her best to disguise her emotional state, and only when she'd greeted Rebecca at the train station the mask was lifted for a brief moment.

However, Elizabeth hadn't made the long journey in order to pity her daughter.

When she received the letter that asked for her help with Colleen's college fee she'd studied several newspapers in order to be put in the picture about what was going on in the Colorado territory. After finding out about the uprising and that her son-in-law was not only suspected to be responsible for the revolt but missing too, she visited an old family friend, George Bley, who instantly promised to accompany her on her way to the frontier.

Apart from the short greeting at the train station they hadn't talked yet, thinking it better to do it in the privacy of the homestead. Thus Rebecca, George and she had checked in at Mr. Preston's Chateau, refreshed themselves and rested a bit before they headed to the Sully residence for dinner.

Once they'd arrived, Elizabeth didn't believe her eyes when she saw the army post before the house. How dared they! Bothering a family with young children! As the soldiers stopped the surrey they'd rented at the hotel one of her stern stares had been enough to keep them from searching their coach. She was still furious when Matthew opened the door for her to step in.

However, when their guests had taken a seat Michaela looked at Brian. She didn't have to say what she wanted him to do.

"Alright, Ma," the boy answered her mute request, scurrying towards the door. He was, however, held back by his grandmother. "Now wait a moment, young man," she said. Turning towards Michaela she demanded, "Is it wise to send him out alone?"

"He will only close the shutters," Michaela replied, arranging the flowers in the vase on the table for the umpteenth time.

"I beg your pardon?" Elizabeth sounded incredulous, gaining her daughter's full attention.

Michaela sighed. "I don't appreciate the soldiers watching our every step," she explained, recognizing from the deepening of the wrinkle between her mother's eyebrows that their first discussion was close. And she was right.

"But it's still bright day," Elizabeth immediately protested. "And I highly doubt they can look inside here from their position. Come here, Brian," she beckoned her grandson. "I'd like you to sit right by my side."

Insecure about what to do the boy looked at his Ma, and Rebecca tried to mediate. "Maybe we should respect Michaela's wish, Mother," she said, looking at her imploringly.

"Nonsense." Elizabeth was firm. "It is a wonderful summer evening, and we won't volunteer to cut ourselves off from it."

Not having the energy for an argument, Michaela nodded at Brian. "It's alright," she said and turned towards the kitchen in order to look for some water.

Since the moment she had seen her oldest sister Michaela was close to losing it. Rebecca had been, next to her father, the one person in her life she could always trust no matter how small or big her problem. Now she yearned to tell her sister everything, all her fears and self-doubts, just to get them off her chest, if only for a moment. But she couldn't. Not yet; not with all the others in the house. Maybe she could get her away for a moment at the clinic tomorrow.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a rhythmic knock on the entrance, and her face lit up. Yet then she hurried into the living room, remembering that her guests had never met Daniel before.

And really, her mother already started her questioning, "And who might you be that you come in here before somebody allowed you to enter?"

Daniel bit back a smile; Matthew had warned him about Mrs. Quinn's attitude.

Taking off his hat he stepped closer, offering his hand, "Daniel Simon, Ma'am."

Yet she still eyed him suspiciously, not noticing the amused faces around her. "Fine," she retorted. "So tell me, Mr. Simon, who are you?"

Daniel glanced at Michaela, not sure whether revealing his relationship with Sully was a good idea. But when she nodded at him almost imperceptibly, he turned back to Mrs. Quinn. "I'm Sully's friend, Ma'am. I'm here to help."

Finally accepting his handshake, Elizabeth uttered loud enough for everyone to hear, "At least he had the decency to send someone to look after his family."

Neither the children nor Daniel corrected her, and Michaela heaved a silent sigh of relief. For some reason she didn't want for Sully to look worse than he already did.

Dinner was a quiet but still relaxed affair. Only Michaela didn't enjoy it as much as the others. Grace's meals were as splendid as always, but knowing that, once again, someone else had ordered and paid for it lessened her appetite as much as her mother's attentive eyes on her, watching whether she ate enough.

Thus she was relieved when it was eventually over and everyone leaned back. Yet not wanting to waste any more time Elizabeth decided to open the conversation.

"Mr. George Bley is a highly respected lawyer in Boston, and he agreed to take care of Sully's case," she explained, looking from her grandchildren to Mr. Simon and then Michaela, wondering whether she dared to object.

It was Brian though who spoke up. "But Matthew's already studied all the law books, and he and Daniel figured out…"

"Brian," the old woman smiled at him indulgently, "with all due respect to Matthew, but Mr. Bley has years of experience before court and…" Her voice trailed off as he felt her friend's hand on her arm.

"It's alright, Elizabeth," George said before he responded to the young boy. "I'm sure your brother already gathered a lot of material that we need to clear your Pa's name; so I will need his help anyway."

As he glanced at Matthew and saw his nod, he turned towards him. "I understood that you are the sheriff of this town."

Gaining another nod, he continued, "Then we have a conflict of interest between your position and the fact that you are a member of Mr. Sully's family. Maybe I could come to your office in the morning and look at your papers so we can see how to go on from there?"

"That's fine with me," Matthew agreed. Actually, he was relieved.

"Good." George already liked him for he was obviously a man who knew his limits and was able to admit it.

Next he turned towards the woman he knew since she was a little girl. "I know it will pain you, Mike, but I need you to tell me everything that happened before the uprising and afterwards. And I mean _everything_. Can you do that?"

Michaela swallowed hard. She was aware that she would have to give away private thoughts she preferred to keep to herself. But if she wanted her children safe again she needed their father to be a free man, and for that she would do anything necessary.

"I will," she agreed quietly but added one condition. "As long as nothing I don't want other people to know will be discussed in court."

In an attempt to cheer her up a bit George replied, "Do you remember what your father used to say about lawyers?"  
Gaining only a questioning look he explained, "He always said that the only good thing about a lawyer is that he has to keep his mouth shut at least once: when it comes to what his client told him."

Smiling wistfully at this memory, Elizabeth added, "And then he used to hire you so you couldn't tell me about his antics at the club."

George chuckled. "Yes, but he always fired me as soon as Harris helped me in my coat at the door."

While the two older people reveled in the memory, Michaela looked at her children in order to gauge their opinion. Seeing only encouragement from them as well as from Daniel, she eventually cleared her throat.

"We can meet in my clinic in the morning," she suggested. "There no one will hear us."

"That's settled then," George said relieved. "I'll first talk to you and then to Mr. Cooper."

xxx

All through the journey up north and back Wolf had been his usual calm self. Yet the closer they came to the homestead, the more openly the animal showed his excitement. Normally, he would trot behind Sully's horse but now he ran forth and back, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, the eyes full of mischief.

They could already see the familiar structure when Wolf suddenly stopped and bared his teeth. Sully instantly pulled his horse to halt and listened intently. He heard a male voice talking, followed by the laughter from another person.

He was approaching his house from the road to the woods, and since the yard was empty, the danger could only come from the road to town. In order to not be betrayed by his horse's hoofbeats or snorting he left the path, riding up the small hill that led to a group of trees.

Although the sun was up for a while it was still quite early in the morning. Sully had hoped to surprise the family at breakfast, but studying the house from his position he could tell that it was already abandoned. More important was, however, that two soldiers sat on the ground next to the barn playing cards, their horses grazing close by.

His house was watched.

Realizing that it would be too careless to go to town, Sully chose to ride to the old homestead instead, hoping that Matthew hadn't started his day yet.

Although doubting that they had put a post before the house of the sheriff as well, Sully was on his guard this time. Leaving his horse behind early enough so he could approach Matthew's place without being heard, he only took Wolf with him who knew how to behave when his master was as tensed up as he was now.

It was the smell that alerted Sully first. Frowning, he tried to make sense of it until he was near enough to see.

The house he'd built with his own hands almost ten years ago didn't exist anymore. Dropping his caution he stepped out from behind the bushes, wanting to take a closer look.

Only then did he notice that he wasn't alone; someone with his back to him was already searching the debris. Sully instantly recognized the very familiar form, and a sudden surge of rage raced through his veins.

"What are ya doin' here?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Lookin' if here's still somethin' useful to find," the man replied calmly, not even turning around.

"Don't play the fool," Sully growled, taking a step forward.

Daniel sighed. In the contrary to Michaela, he'd always been sure that one day, Sully would return to his family. He'd also known that their first meeting might be difficult, but he had a clean conscience.

Finally straightening and turning around, he said, "I'm here to help the family of a friend."

Sully snorted in response. "And? Does my wife enjoy your company?"

His tone was biting and Daniel recognized the look in his friend's eyes that always preceded an attack.

He didn't want to fight though, and crossing his arms before his chest he stood his ground as he retorted, "Michaela doesn't enjoy anything lately."

This remark instantly brought Sully to his senses. "How is she?" he asked quietly, eying his friend carefully so as to find out whether he held something back when he replied.

Knowing Sully's temper, Daniel kept his retort vague. If he revealed the way O'Connor was harassing her Sully would go and confront the sergeant right away.

"She's strong," he said, hoping that would do for the moment.

Much to his relief it did.

Sully nodded. Eventually taking in the ashes and soot-blackened boards he frowned. "What happened here?" he asked. "An accident?"

"Nope." Letting his arms fall down at his side, Daniel let out a long breath before he explained, "Indians burned down the place."

Running his hand through his hair Sully muttered, "It wasn't supposed to happen this way."

Suddenly the urge to meet his wife became overwhelming

Already having forgotten his earlier anger towards Daniel, Sully looked at him imploring, "You gotta help me. I need to see Michaela."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

As he drove the wagon out of town Daniel could feel Michaela's eyes on him from time to time, and he nervously waited for her to ask what was going on.

When Sully had requested his help this morning he knew he didn't have a choice. If he'd rejected, his friend would have looked for a way to see his wife on his own, and no one could predict what might have happened then.

Knowing he couldn't decide this on his own, and after making Sully promise he would wait, Daniel had first turned to Matthew. They both agreed that Michaela would refuse to see her husband for she would think it too dangerous. She had turned into a lioness guarding her cubs which excluded anything that could threaten her children's safety and welfare. If someone found out that she'd met Sully she would be arrested for sure, and there was no way she'd risk that.

On the other hand only Michaela would be able to keep Sully from doing something rash once he realized how his actions had affected his family. That was why the two men eventually took Elizabeth and Rebecca into their confidence, telling them about the double bind they were facing.

Elizabeth, however, was aware that there was one more reason for why her youngest should meet her husband: now that he was back she needed to hear him out. After all, he was the father of their children and Michaela would never be able to forgive herself if she didn't.

That was why she suggested after lunch for her youngest to take a break and get out to the homestead. Elizabeth disregarded any of her daughter's arguments and insisted on taking Brian and Katie to the Chateau where they could have a bath in one of the hot springs. Colleen, agreeing that her Ma should get some alone time, didn't hesitate to assure she would stay at the clinic whilst Matthew would look after her. In the end Michaela gave in, and it was up to Daniel to accompany her.

The homestead as the meeting point had been discussed thoroughly as well, and as paradox as it sounded the house looked like the best solution. After all, the army still had a tail on Michaela; she couldn't go anywhere without being followed. It would have raised suspicion if she'd tried to get away secretly, but no one would think it unusual if she went home. Daniel needed to do some chores in the barn anyway, so everything looked normal on the outside. At least that's what they thought.

Another tricky problem was finding the right moment to tell Michaela that Sully was waiting for her. If Daniel told her too soon, she might just jump down from the wagon and return to town. So he waited until the homestead came in sight.

As he glanced at her he realized that she'd relaxed, enjoying the quiet ride. Her eyes were closed and her face bent towards the sun. He hated to disturb her but couldn't let her enter the house unprepared. When one of the soldiers stepped into their way in order to search the back of their wagon Daniel decided to wait till the very last minute.

Only after he'd helped her down onto the ground in the yard he cleared his throat, saying quietly, "I know ya thought Sully would stay with Cloud Dancing."

Surprised, Michaela looked up at him wondering where this conversation was heading. Hearing Daniel's next words her face drained all color.

"He's back and wants to talk to ya. He's in the house," he said.

"Right now?" she asked, not able yet to digest this news.

"Yeah," Daniel replied as he gently steered her to the steps that led up to the porch. "I'll be in the barn, keepin' an eye on the street and look after the animals. Alright?"

Michaela nodded absently as she started up the stairs, her hand trembling as she gripped the fabric of her skirt in order to lift it somewhat so she wouldn't stumble over it.

xxx

Ducked behind brushes Sully had watched both the house and the army post for quite a while. When he was sure the building was empty and the soldiers had no intention of going inside, he entered his home as he'd done once before: when the Currier Brothers had held his family hostage. Using the firewood bin, the outhouse and the logs as steps he climbed up the side of the house without being detected. This time, the window he reached was open and he had no problem to get into the room. It was the one he had built for _whoever might come along_, and shortly before Katie's birthday, Michaela and he had discussed to put her out of their bedroom and in here.

As he could see Michaela had done it already. He was puzzled though when he recognized the cot standing close by as one from the clinic. Was his daughter sick? But if she was, Michaela surely wouldn't have put her in here, would she?

The furniture didn't give him an answer, so he stepped into the hallway. Much to his astonishment, all doors stood ajar. He couldn't make any sense of it, but somehow this sight alarmed him. He didn't know that his family left the doors open so they wouldn't be kicked down when the soldiers barged in in order to search the rooms. It had been pure luck that the window in the entrance was still intact, but Daniel and Matthew already had to repair the door panel.

However, Sully needed a change of clothes, and thus he walked over to the master bedroom. Once inside, he stopped right after his first step over the threshold. Something was wrong here. Never before had he seen a skirt or jacket lying on top of the quilt on their bed in the middle of the day. Apart from that the room looked strangely empty. First he thought it was because Katie's cot had been moved out, but after taking in the atmosphere longer he knew it: the room Michaela considered her safe place was abandoned. She didn't sleep here anymore.

An uneasy feeling began to spread through his body but before he could name it the sounds coming from outside changed. Quickly, he crossed the room. Once he was next to the window, he pressed his back against the wall, craning his neck so he could see what was going on in the yard.

Witnessing how the wagon was stopped and the soldiers rummaged through an obviously empty wagon was startling. Sully was learning that hearing about the army watching the family and seeing it with his own eyes were two very different things.

He fumed silently, but Michaela didn't react at all. It wasn't like her to accept such a humiliation without resistance. He couldn't imagine why she just sat there and let it happen. The only explanation Sully could come up with was that she was sick. At this thought his chest tightened yet he didn't dwell on it. It was time to get downstairs and take his wife in his arms.

xxx

Michaela felt her legs shaking as she climbed up the stairs. All she could think of was what would happen if the soldiers realized the man they were looking for was inside of the building. All their chances for clearing Sully's name would be dashed because the army could arrest her for harboring a fugitive, and this time they'd have any every right to do so. But apparently all family was behind this, or why else would her mother suggest taking her grandchildren to a hot spring on a warm summer day?

With each further step Michaela's legs turned more to jelly, and she feared she'd never reach the door. Daniel must have seen that for she suddenly felt his supportive hand under her elbow. "I'm sorry we put ya through this," he said lowly. "But you're the only one he'll listen to."

Michaela had heard these words before yet she wasn't so sure they were still true. Her family was, however, right; she needed to convince her husband to stay away from them until Matthew and George would have made the army drop all charges. Thus she squared her shoulders as Daniel opened the entrance for her.

"Ya want me to open the trapdoor?" he asked, wanting her to feel safe with a hiding place for Sully at the ready if worst came to worst.

"Thank you," she said smiling up at him weakly, immediately getting what he was saying. "That would be nice."

Then she spotted Sully standing at the foot of the stairs, his hand still resting on the railing, and her world stopped turning. Part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms, cling to his neck and never let go again. Hurt and fear won instead, easily overpowering the impulse.

Neither of them noticed that Daniel had already left the house whilst each waited for the other to say something. At last Sully opened his arms slightly for her to step in, and Michaela remembered that he'd once done the same: when she'd returned to Colorado Springs after he'd told her in Boston that he loved her.

Back then, she'd run into his embrace.

This time, she didn't budge.

The man across from her had promised to share his life with her no matter what, but now they were separated by an ocean he had filled with lies. She couldn't see a bridge for her to cross it, and maybe she didn't even want to. The only thing she knew right now was that time was of the essence. Since her husband stayed silent and only looked at her, she started the conversation.

"Hello, Sully," she said, and she was angry with herself because her voice was quivering. Her heart was pounding so fast that she was sure she wouldn't be able to take her pulse right now.

Not having expected such a cool greeting he simply replied hoarsely, "Hey."

Desperately, he searched for the right words to say because he had the distinct feeling that if he chose the wrong ones she might simply turn around and leave. Her face looked so small, and her eyes were unusually dark which was emphasized by her pale complexion, so what he really wanted to do was pull her against his chest, holding her close in an embrace that showed her he was back now for good and would protect her from any further harm.

However, her expression, the posture of her fragile figure, everything about her screamed at him, "Don't touch me!"

And so he didn't. Instead, he kept the distance between them because he'd always respected her wishes.

But then he remembered that he had good news to break. "Cloud Dancing's safe now," he offered, hoping to see a smile on her face.

When it didn't show he added, "And with him two Arapaho kids. They'd followed us and we took them with us."

"That's good," Michaela acknowledged. She already knew that his mission had been successful. Otherwise, he wouldn't be here.

As it had become her habit, she rested her left forearm on her right one in order to lessen the pain that still returned from time to time, especially when the arm hang down at her side for too long. She wanted to sit down but feared to give Sully the wrong signal. All that she could think about was that she needed him to leave.

Since he'd been focused on his wife's face, Sully only now remembered the bandage he'd seen right away when she'd entered the house.

Taking a step towards her in order to take a closer look he asked worriedly, "What happened?"

"It's broken," she replied, quickly putting her arms behind her back. "It's not important right now."

"But it is to me," he objected, closing the distance between them and only halted when Michaela took a step back and raised her voice at him.

"Stop it!" She almost yelled, tears of frustration choking her. "This is not about you! I know your priorities, and they are clearly different from mine! All I care about is that my children won't be threatened anymore because the army wants to know where their father is!"

Dumbfounded by this outburst Sully could only stammer, "What… what are ya sayin'?"

Taking in a deep breath, Michaela tried to calm down. If she continued yelling, the soldiers could be alerted. Shifting so she could take a look out of the window she assured herself that they didn't pay attention to the house.

Turning back at Sully, she locked eyes with him, willing him to see that she was deadly serious, "I'm saying that you have to stay away from us. Go. Leave." Sensing that her emotions were getting the better of her, she swallowed hard but managed to be clear, "Don't contact the children or me. We are not safe when you are here."

Sully's world fell apart.

.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Sully, stunned into silence, stared at Michaela who didn't waver under his gaze. She'd practically thrown him out but looked neither challenging nor angry. It was obvious though that she meant what she'd just said. Although her words had been firm Sully sensed that her physical strength was weakening and she would collapse any moment. Instinctively he stepped closer, wanting to hold her.

A sharp knock at the door startled them both, and for the split moment the sound lasted, Michaela was thankful for it. Seeing Daniel's face she could tell though they were in trouble, and she didn't want to risk feeling false safety in Sully's arms.

"Get down," Daniel said to Sully pointing to the trapdoor.

"O'Connor." Michaela didn't ask, she simply knew.

"Can't tell yet," Daniel replied. "But more than three riders're coming."

Still not realizing the gravity of the situation Sully chimed in, "I'll just leave through a window…"

"No time for that," Michaela cut him off, seeing the soldiers from the post running to the back of the house. "They always secure all directions. Hurry!"

Hearing the panic in her voice he complied and only seconds later Daniel pulled the rug over the door in the floor that led to the space beneath the house. Then he arranged two chairs so that no one would suspect anything under the thick material of the small oval carpet.

They could hear the hoofbeats on the road by now, and after glancing at each other they mutely agreed to wait for the soldiers out on the porch. Seeing her hand shaking as she brushed some hair from her face, Daniel said quietly, "Wait."

Michaela stopped and looked up at him questioningly, her eyes unsteady though.

Laying his hands on her shoulders Daniel gazed into her eyes, willing his voice to sound calm and reassuring although he felt quite the opposite, "I know ya are frightened but they ain't gonna find Sully. I'll make sure O'Connor won't touch ya again, and when this is over, we'll have the worst behind us for then we know Sully's safe and has a good lawyer."

Seeing a tiny spark of hope lighten her face he took his hands off, gently asking, "Ya ready?"

Michaela managed a nod whilst she swallowed down unwanted tears. She had made it till here, and she wouldn't give up now.

The space beneath the house was dark, only occasional cracks between the wainscots at the sides of the porch stairs let in some light. It was just enough for Sully to orient himself so he wouldn't accidentally bump against a post and make his presence known.

The voices from above were muffled and he couldn't discern everything what Daniel and Michaela were talking about. As he heard their steps moving towards the entrance, he felt his way there, too. He wanted to understand what was going on, so if need be he could come out of his hiding place and intervene.

Michaela had faced many challenges in her life and she had lost some, but most of them had made her stronger. Battling against Sergeant O'Connor was different though. It wasn't because he didn't acknowledge her social status; she was used to that. She'd also been confronted with ignorance before, yet this man conducted an irrational personal vendetta against Sully and her. Since martial law ruled the Colorado territory he had the power to do whatever he wanted, including using physical violence as she very well knew. So her standing up against the sergeant was an unequal fight, and although it was a relief to know she wasn't alone in it, everything would depend now on whether civil law failed to measure up to the grip the army had on the land.

The riders were close enough now for her to recognize him and she braced herself. She would not cry, her voice wouldn't quiver and she wouldn't faint either. If he actually won he would not see her surrender.

At this thought she squared her shoulders. With her chin raised she waited for the officer's attack, holding her position on the top step next to Daniel.

O'Connor didn't waste time; still sitting on his horse as he stopped at the foot of the stairs he said in his unsettling quiet tone, "Ya're a predictable woman, Mrs. Sully. Ya changed your schedule; any reason for that?"

"None that concerns you," Michaela replied coolly. She almost smiled because her voice didn't let her down.

As the sergeant dismounted his horse, gesturing for the four men accompanying him to do the same, Michaela felt Daniel shift his weight. She knew he was ready to put himself between her and O'Connor even though he'd have no chance against the superiority. It still felt good.

"Search the house," the sergeant ordered two of his men as if she hadn't said anything. "Ev'ry room. Look in the closets, too. And you," he gestured at the remaining two, "search the barn."

It would be useless to protest, and not wanting to provoke them, Michaela and Daniel stepped aside to make room when the soldiers ascended the stairs.

Standing right beneath them under the steps, Sully wondered why they just let it happen. Once O'Connor resumed talking he understood.

"No resistance this time?" he sneered, looking Michaela up and down. "I guess ya learned your lesson."

"What do ya want?" Daniel steered the attention of the maliciously staring man to himself.

O'Connor didn't deign to give him as much as a glance. Keeping his gaze on Michaela he reeled off, "We got reason to believe a fugitive's hidin' on the property. The man is wanted for treason and his wife suspiciously left town at an unusual time. That's enough for us."

Not gaining a response he suddenly changed his tone as he charged up the stairs, "And now get out of my way."

Hearing the clatter from drawers falling onto the floor in the upstairs rooms followed by the sound of breaking plates in the kitchen Michaela sighed. She first wondered whether she would still have crockery left once this nightmare was over and then that she was able to even think about it.

As if he'd listened to her thoughts Daniel advised, "Ya should make a list for your lawyer with all the things they've broken by now."

Michaela nodded but didn't move in order to enter the house. "Ya wanna wait here?" he asked, silently thinking that might be a good idea.

Having heard every word Sully sat crouched in the space beneath the stairs. He contemplated getting out which would be easy; he only would have to take a board out of the wooden wall next to him. But if he did, O'Connor could use his presence against Michaela, and he couldn't allow that. That meant he had no choice but to wait until the soldiers would have left.

A familiar feeling of helplessness began engulfing him, and he clenched his teeth.

First he couldn't do anything for Cloud Dancing and now he had to stand by when his wife was humiliated and his home ravaged. However, he'd found a solution for his brother and he'd also find one for Michaela. Actually, he already knew what to do.

Michaela had decided to stay outside for more than one reason. Not only did she not want to witness how the soldiers messed up the house once again; she also didn't want for O'Connor to watch her when he made his own contributions. Apart from that she needed to sit down.

The continuous persecution by the army grated on her nerves and physical strength; her insomnia did so as well. Thankfully it was summer and early dawn saved her from lying in the dark for hours on end before it was time to get up. Yet still, even though the sun was generously offering brightness, everything looked dull to her. Her days had turned into a long night.

Now Sully was back. She should be relieved to see him; after all, she'd thought she never would again. She didn't feel any assurance by his presence though. For some reason this frightened her more than everything else that had been going wrong recently. How could two weeks shatter the life she'd known before so thoroughly?

Nearing hoofbeats startled her out of her thoughts. Recognizing that it was a soldier approaching at full gallop she nervously rose to her feet.

"O'Connor here?" the man asked breathlessly as he jumped down from his horse, looking around.

"It sounds as if he's still in the kitchen," Michaela replied dryly as the noise of another item crashing on the floor, followed by Daniel's angry voice, could be heard.

She didn't know she had it still in her to be sarcastic.

An Indian attack against Manitou Springs commanded all soldiers' presence, and O'Connor had to leave sooner than he'd planned. As he brushed past her he promised to be back soon before he called for his men in the barn.

It wasn't these words that horrified Michaela but wood scratching against wood beneath her did.

Sully was about to get out of his hiding place under the stairs and O'Connor was still within sight.

"Not yet!" she hissed, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear. She couldn't speak louder for the soldiers from behind the house could emerge any moment.

It was too late though for a board already fell down.

Fortunately Daniel, who'd just joined her again, heard it too, and without thinking twice he flanked over the porch railing. Thinking quickly, Michaela pulled off her vest and dropped it onto the ground next to him so that he could pretend picking it up for her whilst he made sure Sully stayed under the house.

They were lucky again; their little trick worked.

They waited five more minutes once they were back in the living room. Daniel watched the soldiers from his position at the window, and only after they made themselves comfortable at their post again he nodded to Michaela.

She had barely pulled open the trapdoor when Sully's head was to be seen. Not out fully yet he announced, his voice sounding resolved, "I'm gonna turn myself in."

Michaela gaped at him for a second until her expression turned into a glare.

"No, you won't," she said being every ounce as determined as her husband.

"Don't ya see? It's the only way to keep the army away from you!" Sully exclaimed frustrated, instantly being shushed by Michaela.

"And then what?" she asked, her tone just above an angry whisper. "You've committed treason; they will hang you!"

"We can say I was out huntin'", he instantly contradicted. "We'll figure somethin' out."

Michaela couldn't believe how easily he took the situation. Her anger suddenly flared as she raised her voice, "You should've figured it out before you put yourself and your family in danger!" Taking in a deep breath to get a grip on her emotions she added somewhat quieter, "McKay saw you at the reservation during the uprising."

This was news to Sully. However, he had gotten himself into this mess and so he would face the consequences.

Slowly nodding he repeated, "I'm gonna turn myself. It's the only way."

Michaela was taken aback. Once again her opinion didn't matter. "What about Katie?" she asked quietly.

They still stood next to the open trapdoor, standing across from each other with the dark hole between them. Fleetingly she thought how symbolic this was for their situation.

"What about her?" Sully was puzzled. "The army will leave ya alone once they got me."

"She will grow up without a father," Michaela retorted matter-of-factly. "Do you really want that for her?"

Sighing in frustration Sully ran his hand through his hair, his face stricken. "'Course not. But there ain't no other way. Can't ya see that?"  
"What I see," Michaela spoke slowly in a low tone which betrayed that her own irritation was getting the better of her, "is my husband who once again is the only one who knows what to do, no matter the consequences for those around him."

"But I'm doin' it for you and the kids!" Sully gazed at her, not understanding why she couldn't see his sacrifice.

"How about you ask for my opinion for a change?" Michaela was determined for Sully to see reason. Nothing would be gained if he surrendered to the army because no one could tell if they really left her alone then. Apart from that she meant what she'd just said: she didn't want for her daughter to grow up without knowing her father.

"Alright," Sully conceded, crossing his arms before his chest willing to hear her out. "What's the plan?"

Michaela searched his face. Would he really listen? Cradling her arm with the injured hand again since she couldn't knit her fingers in front of her as it was her usual habit she began to list, "The plan is for you to stay away from the children and me. You shouldn't do anything but wait until the lawyers say they need you for the trail. And if you still care for this family…"

Sully briskly interrupted her, "'Course I do! How can ya doubt that?"

Michaela could tell him several reasons, but there was no time for a discussion now.

"If that is true," she said quietly, "then you should leave as soon as it is safe. Daniel and I need to go back to town now. No one knows how long O'Connor will be away. He'd done enough damage for today."

She sounded tired now, and Sully followed her gaze. The floor was covered with books, items from the mantelpiece and shards of broken china. He knew how much she loved all her things, and he suddenly felt a lump in his throat.

This was all his fault. How could he ever make it up to her?

As she started for the door he touched her arm, and she looked back at him.

"I'm sorry," he said, hoping she could hear his sincerity.

She didn't react to his statement but continued on her way out of the house.

Yet Sully couldn't let her go. He would comply with her wish and not contact her until she asked him to, and so he had no idea when he would see her again.

"Michaela!" he called after her in a subdued voice.

She halted in her tracks and turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage again as he recognized the devastation in her eyes.

This time, she acknowledged his words with a short nod although she knew that an apology didn't even start to cover the damage he had done.

Then she was gone.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Sully could still hear the door slam shut behind Michaela although she'd closed it quietly when she left the house. In fact, the more days went by the louder the sound rang in his ears and he began to fear it was the last he would ever get to hear from her in person. She never sent word, and from Daniel he'd learned that she still hesitated to tell Brian and Colleen he'd returned home. She waited because she didn't know what was worse: that Brian continued to think Sully had left them for good or to carry the burden of the secret that he was back. Sully understood but it hurt all the same.

Although he didn't have a profession as Preston once pointed out, Sully's days always had had a purpose. No matter whether he went out hunting, repaired a fence on his property, worked at Robert E.'s or helped other people - in the evening he knew he had been useful. Not so now. Not even Wolf needed him; when he was hungry he just vanished for a while and provided himself with food.

All Sully had to do was take care of himself.

It drove him crazy but being alone with his thoughts even topped that. Michaela hadn't said much to him during that short meeting at the homestead, so he still remembered almost every word. He had all the time in the world to mull them over, and with each new day they changed their meaning.

When he'd briefly considered going north again, paying Cloud Dancing a visit instead of sitting idly on the bank of the nearby creek watching the water flow by, her voice echoed in his head again, "_if you still care for this family…"_

Leaving would definitely send the wrong signal, and so he stayed.

Without noticing it he'd caught three large catfish that afternoon, and when he pulled out the fourth Daniel's chuckle startled him out of his brooding.

"How 'bout I keep ya company for a bit instead of ya surrounding yourself with more dead fish?" He'd grinned down at him.

Looking at his catch Sully sighed. Reading his mind Daniel suggested, "I could give them to Michaela."

"Ya think she'd accept it?" Sully had asked with a mix of hope and anguish.

Daniel knew his friend inside out and could easily guess his state of mind. After the first couple of days in hiding had gone by rather quickly for him because he had to catch up on his sleep he'd spent another day with making himself comfortable in the small cave he'd found not too far from town but not too close either. From then on, however, Sully had spent his time waiting. This wouldn't go well for much longer, and that was why Daniel decided to take the risk.

"It's worth a try, ain't it?" he'd eventually replied. He could always ask Grace to take the fish if Michaela didn't want it.

Much to both their relief she hadn't refused though. Sully took it as her first step to forgive him, and since money had already been tight before he left he assumed the situation hadn't improved, and so he started hunting for his family again. It felt good.

It was already August when Daniel didn't look like himself as he arrived at the cave one evening. It wasn't as much the bandage on his brow that hinted about something being wrong but rather the expression in his eyes. Sully couldn't quite read it and thus he asked the obvious first, "What happened to your head? Been in a fight?"

Daniel didn't meet his friend's eyes as he put down the bags with the supplies he'd brought.

"The bullet wasn't meant for me," was all information he offered.

Straightening again he took in the cave as if seeing it for the first time. Knowing he had to broach bad news he wondered how long Sully would still be able to bear with this place.

Sully, however, interpreted Daniel's silence in his own way. "Is Michaela hurt, too?" he asked quietly, fearing the worst.

"What?" Daniel seemed to come back from far away when he at last looked at his friend. "No," he quickly assured, "she's fine. Actually we're only still alive thanks to her."

Off Sully's look he hurried to elaborate, "Renegades waylaid us but one of them recognized her and so they only went after the soldier following us. I was just in the firing line and didn't get down fast enough."

Sully let out a long breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Michaela was alright, that was all that mattered. Yet the strange expression still lingered on his friend's features, and Sully didn't know what to make of it.

"What's wrong?" he eventually asked.

Daniel sighed. He had to tell Sully sooner or later anyway, and so he decided to be straight, "General Wooden refused to bring O'Connor before military court. He said we can't prove that the sergeant deliberately stomped on Michaela's hand."

"He did what?" Sully exclaimed, jumping up from his sitting position. "That's why her hand's broken, ain't it?"

Daniel silently cursed at himself. Just for that moment he'd forgotten that Michaela had made Matthew and him promise not to tell anyone. It was too late now, and he only hoped Sully wouldn't do anything rash.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "But Michaela don't want ya to know," he quietly added watching his friend's pacing from one wall of the cave to the other and back.

Suddenly stopping because his heart was beating so fast that it became hard to breathe, Sully squatted down. Running his hands through his hair he bent his head, closing his eyes. Michaela had been hurt because of him. Now she thought he couldn't control his temper and would make it even worse for her.

His wife didn't trust him anymore.

This realization hit him like a punch into the stomach and it dawned on him that he didn't only have to deal with her justified anger about his leaving. But with his family's plan to clear his name being crashed it seemed he might never get the opportunity to make it up to her.

Sully shifted his position so he sat next to the fire again. He needed to stay focused; he could nourish his pain when he was alone again. "What do we do now?" he wondered, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"George, the lawyer, said he'll just make it a bigger case. He'll sue the army for harassing and torturing an innocent civilian and her children." Seeing Sully's eyes grow wide Daniel quickly continued because there was no way he would tell him that O'Connor had threatened to shoot Brian and Katie. "George went to Denver this morning to meet a colleague who has connections to the army command of the Colorado territory. He'll also pull a few strings so the big newspapers in the East are gonna get alerted to the case. Shouldn't be a problem since one of his brothers-in-law writes for the Boston Globe. The army can't afford bad press at the moment so there's a good chance there'll be a compromise in the end."

Sully didn't reply because there was nothing for him to say. All he had wanted was for Cloud Dancing to survive and give the other Indians a chance to lead a free life. He had succeeded in helping his Indian family, but at what price? Michaela had been seriously hurt and he didn't dare to think what _threatening the children _meant. Of course he had noticed that Daniel didn't want to elaborate on what had happened, and it made his blood run cold.

Looking for a distraction from the too painful topic Sully cleared his throat before he eventually looked at his friend again. "Ya spoke of dog soldiers earlier. They still in the area?"

Although he wanted to spare is friend from another bout of guilt, Daniel was honest, "Yeah. Ever since the uprising the attacks have increased. That's what McKay says."

Sighing in frustration Sully murmured under his breath, "I wish Cloud Dancing was here. He could try to talk to them."

xxx

Seeing Sully a month ago had left Michaela with contradicting feelings. On the one hand it felt strangely comforting that he was close again but on the other hand she feared he would do something rash any moment, especially if he ever learned about the full extent of O'Connor's actions.

It took her two days of being torn this way until she realized she would burn out if she didn't keep her emotions on a low flame. That was why she decided for them to go to hibernation, allowing only the necessary ones - like smiling at her family so no one would suspect that something might be wrong with her.

Her resolution was tested though when Daniel brought fish to the homestead one night. Everyone in the room instantly knew that Sully had caught it when Daniel put the catch into a bowl on the kitchen counter.

"Sully's back!" Brian had exclaimed excitedly. "Ya'll see, Ma, everything's gonna be alright now," her son had beamed at her, and Michaela didn't have the heart to take this illusion from him.

When she didn't refuse the fish Sully obviously took it as her permission for him to hunt for his family again. She had to admit that having fresh meat on the table at least twice a week wasn't the worst thing, and she became used to it.

But then, in the second week of August, the supplying with game suddenly stopped.

Daniel and she both still honored their mute agreement to not talk about Sully, but after a few days she broke it.

"Is he alright?" she asked him when they had a minute alone in the kitchen.

"Yeah," Daniel nodded glancing towards the table in the living room where the family was gathered. "Cloud Dancin's back. He said the spirits told him he's needed." He waited for her reaction to this but Michaela's face was blank of any emotion.

Over the last weeks Daniel had figured out that Michaela was convinced that Sully stood closer to the Cheyenne than to her and the children, and not wanting for her to get the wrong impression he explained, "They went to a camp of dog soldiers in the woods east of Fort Collins. They're gonna try to persuade them to stop fightin'."

Michaela seemed unmoved yet her trembling hand betrayed her as she reached for a plate on the shelf. She avoided looking at him, and Daniel knew this news hit her harder than she'd expected. He didn't want her to feel being put on the spot because he'd noticed, and that was why he continued, talking to her back now, "That could be good for his case. The army might appreciate his helping in that matter. George said that President Grant wants the Indian problem settled once and for all. This is Sully's best chance to show that he doesn't want to encourage the Indians to go on with the war."

"I understand," Michaela responded quietly before she turned around, joining the family at the table.

As she bent to press a kiss on the top of Katie's head she missed the concerned look of her mother who gazed from her to Daniel and back.

Elizabeth knew her youngest much better than she ever showed. When she had protested against her becoming a doctor she did it mainly because she didn't want for her daughter a life of constant struggle against propriety. When Michaela had moved west, Elizabeth had been horrified once she found out under what circumstances she lived. She'd made her peace with it though once she acknowledged that her youngest had found what she'd sought: a medical practice and on top of that a husband she loved and was loved by. But then she had to burn all her equipment which shook her financial situation to the core.

Elizabeth liked Sully but fact was that he didn't have a constant income that could help his family out of the crisis. Then he had vanished and Michaela wasn't able to work fully with her broken hand for several weeks. The solid ground beneath her daughter's feet was turning into quicksand that would swallow her soon. Thus Elizabeth made a decision.

They all had breakfast at the homestead the next morning, and Elizabeth waited for her to be alone with her two daughters. She had instructed her grandchildren and Daniel before the meal, and they all soon left the table under different pretexts after they were finished.

Michaela barely noticed for she was making a mental list of the things she had to do in the morning. Being as busy as possible was the best way to get through the day. Only when her mother cleared her throat in a manner that announced she had something important to say did she look up from her plate where she'd pushed some scrambled eggs around.

"Michaela," Elizabeth said firmly, "I will give you a part of your inheritance in advance." As if not noticing the stunned expression on her daughter's face that quickly changed into one that told she would protest, she continued speaking, "I will pay Colleen's fees until she leaves college, and I will set up trust funds for Brian and Katie."

"Mother!" Michaela exclaimed, not sounding thankful though but rather annoyed. "You can't…"

Rebecca sighed. She had known that her mother would declare her plan this way and her little sister would instantly object. That was why she'd suggested coming too, and now was the moment for her to chime in.

"Michaela," her voice was soft and her tone pleading when she reached across the table to lay her hand on Michaela's. "Just imagine yourself in mother's shoes," she began, "Imagine you had enough money you don't need, and let's say Colleen had three children and runs a practice but can't pay for their meals. It's alright," she quickly assured when Michaela blushed and looked down in deep embarrassment. "Such things happen. But think about it: would you just stand by and watch your daughter and grandchildren suffer from lack of money although you know you can help? You wouldn't, and you know that."

Rebecca waited patiently until her sister lifted her head and looked at her again. Locking eyes with her she gave her a short, encouraging nod and watched in relief that the tension left Michaela's body. She would accept their mother's offer.

Three days later a soldier knocked at the clinic door, informing Michaela that Sergeant McKay would like to talk to her in his tent at the army camp.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It was over.

Michaela stared at Sergeant McKay, only slowly comprehending what he'd just said. She began to sway with every course of the words through her mind.

It was over.

Two hands on her back instantly supported her, keeping her sway from turning into a fall.

"Maybe ya wanna sit down now," McKay suggested, watching her carefully.

"Sounds like a good idea," Daniel, standing to her right, agreed.

"Yeah," Matthew, on her other side, gently pushed her towards the chair that stood before the sergeant's table.

All three men worriedly watched as she slowly sank onto the seat.

Michaela's heart was beating so hard that the drumming in her ears drowned any other sound. She desperately tried to regain her composure but it was difficult. Getting rid of the burden of constant fear came so unexpectedly that she felt like a deep-sea fish that was pulled out of the water. She had gotten used to the pressure she'd been under that she now felt as if she couldn't get enough air into her lungs.

"It's alright, Ma," she heard Matthew say as if from a far away distance.

Her tentative attempt of a nod was stopped by a dizzy spell, and she whispered hoarsely, "Could I get some water, please?"

"Sure," McKay responded and instantly offered her his canteen.

The water was lukewarm but the liquid running down her throat was enough to revive Michaela somewhat.

"Are you certain this is not a trick to get Sully out of his hiding place?" she eventually asked, nodding toward the document that lay before him.

"It's signed by your lawyer, too," McKay responded as he turned the paper and pushed it over the table for her to read.

Michaela knew Uncle George's signature. When she was a little girl she used to pretend writing a prescription and put his name on it. She didn't take her father's because he had once told her that she couldn't sign with _Dr. Quinn _yet because she was still far too young for that. The memory almost made her smile.

However, she recognized the elegant stroke of the pen at once as she looked for the name _Bley_ at the bottom of the paper.

It was really true.

Her pulse sped up again at the thought that she wouldn't be followed anymore; that no one would barge into her house any minute. Not able to believe it fully yet, she looked up at McKay.

"I don't understand… I mean…" For once Michaela wasn't able to voice her thoughts.

There was someone else though who also wanted to know why General Wooden, who'd signed the document as well, had changed his mind.

"What happened that the army gave in?" Matthew wondered, looking at the sergeant.

McKay glanced at Daniel who slightly blushed in embarrassment, scratching a spot on his brow with his forefinger. Feeling all eyes on him, he cleared his throat before he turned to Michaela.

"Ya remember last week, when I left for a few days?" he asked.

As he gained a puzzled nod from her he continued, "Mr. Bley had asked me to come to Fort Collins. They needed someone to act as a go-between. Sully couldn't mediate 'cause he's a wanted man, and any Indian who'd come to the fort would've been arrested immediately. But since Geor… Mr. Bley gave them hell the army wanted to get to an agreement with the renegades. Not 'cause they really wanted a truce but if they reached one they could say Sully earned to be pardoned for he'd helped with his negotiation. This way the army wouldn't lose their face when they dropped the charges against him."

Michaela had averted her eyes as Daniel went on speaking. She wasn't sure what she felt but she knew as he closed his explanation saying, "I'm sorry, Michaela, but the army insisted on keeping the operation a secret until it all was over."

"It's alright," she sincerely assured, sounding bitter though when she went on. "I guess it's fitting to finish this as it has started: with me left in the dark."

Of course she noticed how the three men glanced at each other as a reaction to her words. Obviously they all had known about Daniel's task. But truth be told, she didn't really care anymore how the solution for her dilemma had been found. All that mattered was that her children and their father were really safe now.

Smoothing an invisible wrinkle in her skirt she requested one more affirmation. "I'd like to know what's between the lines in this document. I want to be sure that this isn't a trap to lure my husband out of hiding so the army can still arrest him. I…"

She was cut off by the flap being thrown open.

"I need my marching orders," said an all too well-known voice with barely restricted anger, making Michaela stiffen on her seat.

Not acknowledging the civilians in the tent O'Connor walked up to the table. Without replying, McKay pulled out a document of a thin briefcase that leaned against the chair legs, handing it to his former superior.

As O'Connor turned around to leave he stared down at Michaela with such hatred that Daniel and Matthew stepped closer to her chair, ready to jump in if the sergeant dared to attack her. The man only snorted in disgust though and hurried out of the tent.

McKay looked at Michaela with unveiled sympathy once they were alone again. "Ya know," he said quietly, searching for the right words, "ya really finished him off. He hurt ya and harassed your family 'cause he wanted to get you and your husband. But truth is that _you_ got _him_."

"I did?" Michaela asked with a perplexed expression. "How did I do that?"

The sergeant allowed himself a soft chuckle. "If he'd left ya alone he could still chase after Sully. If he hadn't hurt ya, not even your smart lawyer would've been able to persuade Major Wooden to drop the charges against your husband. But since Mr. Bley threatened to make the army's behavior public President Grant was alerted to the case, and he gave order to pardon Sully."

"Why didn't they just fire O'Connor?" Matthew asked. "That would've been easier, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," McKay agreed, "but fact is that then no one would've been able to hold him back from going after your family again. The army is all he got and if that was taken from him there'd be no sayin' what he'd do to get his revenge. I guess Mr. Bley saw that and made it a condition to transfer him to a place far away from here, giving him order to never contact the Sully's again. If he weren't a soldier anymore he wouldn't have to follow commands."

Seeing the logic in this, Matthew nodded, "Good thinkin'."

"What do we have to do now?" Michaela asked, worrying there might still be a catch to the agreement.

"Well, actually you can just go home. I already send a soldier to your homestead with the order to remove the post. You're free to do whatever ya want." McKay smiled at her before his expression changed as he added, "That don't mean I approve of what your husband did. His actions cost lives on both sides."

"I know," Michaela replied biting her lower lip as she looked down on her lap.

Not wanting for her to feel guilty for something she wasn't to blame for, McKay abruptly changed the subject.

"Mr. Simon," he turned towards Daniel, "I'll need your help."

"Findin' Sully to inform him?" Daniel guessed.

"Yep." McKay was all business now, explaining, "I got the papers by courier already a couple of days before but had to wait for the wire that would say that the Indians kept her part of the truce and went to the Northern Cheyenne Territory. I got the telegram from Fort Fetterman this morning that the renegades and Cloud Dancing arrived there. No one knows though where Mr. Sully is, and that's where you come into the picture."

Daniel nodded in understanding, "I'm gonna find him and tell him it's over."

"Thanks," the sergeant replied. "I'd hand him the document myself but we'll leave Colorado Springs as soon as possible."

"For good?" Matthew didn't conceal his excitement. The soldiers hadn't made his job easier; it would be much quieter and more peaceful without them.

"Yeah, for good," McKay affirmed. "The reservation's closed and all renegades are gone from the area. There are other places where we're needed."

xxx

Michaela hadn't adjusted to the new situation yet when the next news hit her during lunch at Grace's Café.

"We will leave with the afternoon train," Elizabeth Quinn announced before she took another sip of coffee.

The clattering of Michaela's cup in the saucer betrayed her surprise although she tried to keep her expression studiously neutral. She had gotten used to her mother and sister's presence over the weeks, and especially since Colleen had returned to college the week ago they both had been extremely helpful with looking after Katie.

As if she hadn't noticed Elizabeth continued, "George sent a telegram; he will join us in Denver on our way home. I neglected my charity tasks far too long; it is high time for us to get back to Boston. "Besides," she put down her mug on the table so she could look fully at her youngest, "your family needs to recover. And that can be done best without other people around."

Averting her eyes, Michaela fidgeted with her fingers in her lap. Her mother had just reminded her of a new problem ahead: As much as she had enjoyed learning that her ordeal was over, as much she began to fear Sully's return. She didn't know how to face him again for in her heart she felt she'd lost the connection she used to have to him.

"Well," her mother said giving her hands a reassuring pat, "I know you will manage. Just remember that he is your husband and that you promised to share not only the good but the bad times, too."

Then she rose to her feet and commanded more than asked, "Matthew and Brian, would you please accompany to the mercantile? I think I still need a few things for the journey."

Without looking back she marched off, the brothers dutifully trailing behind.

"Michaela?" Rebecca asked softly once the others were out of earshot.

She waited patiently until her little sister was ready to look at her. Seeing tears glistening in the unique eyes Rebecca sighed. She had known all along that there was more than the sudden disappearance of Sully that gnawed at Michaela's soul.

"You love Sully, don't you?" she asked, determined to give her sister a reason to look forward to her husband's return.

"Yes," Michaela whispered as she wiped a tear off her cheek. "Yes, I do."

"Then you will find it in you to forgive him. I know you will. Just keep in mind that he didn't intend to cause you any harm. He wanted to save his brother."

Rebecca looked at her sister expectantly, hoping her words would fall on fertile ground.

"I know," Michaela sniffled. She fumbled in the pocket of her skirt for a handkerchief, glad that she didn't have to look at Rebecca anymore.

She had already forgiven her husband. It was in his nature to help other people like it was in hers. That was the one thing they still had in common.

She was, however, not able to forget that he'd lied to her to such an extent that it had destroyed the foundation of their relationship.

She couldn't push away the realization that Sully was ready to die rather than continue the life they'd started to build together.

She didn't know how she could ever trust him again.

Her family was the most important thing to her, for them she would even give up her working as a doctor. She almost already had after Katie's birth. How could she share her life with a man who didn't feel the same?

Nothing of that she told her sister though. She was too ashamed to admit that she had failed in her marriage. All she hoped for was that Sully and she would find an agreement that didn't hurt their children, especially Katie and Brian. They had already suffered enough.

"Hey." A shadow suddenly fell over their table. "I'm back."

For a moment Michaela feared she had lost her mind, that just thinking of Sully made her hear his voice.

Yet when she looked up she saw him standing there, a sheepish smile on his face.

A few hours ago she had thought her life would be finally back to normal, that nothing could top the terror O'Connor had caused her.

She knew now she had been wrong. Facing the truth of the chasm that separated Sully from her was worse.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

For once Michaela was grateful that news always spread like wildfire in Colorado Springs. She was still staring at her husband as if he were an appearance when Dorothy came running from her office.

"Sully!" she exclaimed and as she reached him she gave him a welcoming hug. "It's so good to see you again!"

Not waiting for his reply Dorothy released him, looking him up and down. "You look well," she stated and suddenly sobered. "Can I talk to you later?" she asked looking at him intently.

"'Course," Sully agreed, somewhat overwhelmed by this greeting. "Cloud Dancin' is fine," he added, knowing she would be relieved to hear that.

"That's good," Dorothy beamed, "that's wonderful."

A friendly slap on his back distracted Sully though, and as he turned he came face to face with Robert E.

"Glad you're back," his friend said with a sincere smile and Grace, standing next to him hit Sully playfully with her cloth.

"We were so worried," she gently scolded yet then abruptly changed the subject. "Ya must be hungry!" she cried sounding startled that she could be such a bad host. "Ya just sit down; I'll bring ya something. Maybe I can even find some apple pie."

Sully and Robert E. watched her hurrying towards her stove, both grinning about her enthusiasm.

Most of the onlookers paid attention only to the prodigal son of the town. As mad as they'd been with him initially, gossip said that he was the reason for the end of the Indian attacks which made him their new hero.

Michaela, however, averted her eyes from the scene. Not because she knew better than the townsfolk, but seeing Sully with Robert E. rekindled the hurt she'd felt when she'd learned that Sully had taken his friend into confidence while he had lied to her.

"It's alright, Dr. Mike," Matthew suddenly said right next to her.

He had been fooled by the two men as well and was angry at Sully in a way he'd never been before, yet more important to him was that Michaela knew she had his support, no matter what.

"Oh!" Startled, she laid her palm over her heart and looked up at him. "I didn't notice that you're already back."

Her attempt to smile failed but she already turned her head to the other side where Brian stood and explained, "Someone called that Sully's at the Café, and Mr. Bray instantly closed his store 'cause he wanted to see him. So we came back here."

This time she succeeded in producing a smile; it felt good to have her sons close. When Sully eventually turned back to her after exchanging some more greetings he saw her still sitting on her chair, but now framed by the two brothers and her back covered by his best friend. The three men, even though one of them was still rather a boy, formed a protecting shield around his wife, and he realized that the last months had created a unit which excluded him.

Although he was as tanned as he hadn't been in years the blanching of his face was visible, and he sensed it. Clearing his throat to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his stomach he asked, "Where are the girls?"

"Colleen is back in college and Katie is napping at the clinic," Michaela replied neutrally.

"No, she is not," Elizabeth spoke up as she carried her granddaughter towards them.

The crowd had dispersed by now, and only Dorothy, Jake, Loren and Hank were still observing the family reunion from a table that was close enough for them to understand every word that was spoken.

"Becky just came out with her when we passed the clinic," Rebecca explained as she held out her hand to Sully. "Welcome home, Sully," she said with a genuine smile.

"Thanks," he retorted, relieved that at least one family member seemed to be glad about seeing him.

As Elizabeth was about to give Katie to her mother, he eagerly requested, "Can I hold her?"

"Certainly." Michaela had no objections. Wanting for her daughter to know her father was the main reason why she had been able to make it through the terror of the last months.

"Come here, sweet girl," Sully beckoned, rounding the table. As he took her in his arms he said tenderly, "Hey, Kates."

The little girl didn't want to look at him though and tried to wriggle her way down onto the ground instead.

Michaela's heart broke at the sight. Rising to her feet she came to Sully's rescue. Stepping closer to him she searched for her daughter's eyes, soothingly stroking the fine blond hair.

"Sweetheart," she said in a calming tone, "this is your Pa."

The toddler stopped her twisting and turning and looked at her mother with wide eyes. She remembered saying the word but never used it again once she found out that always her mother came when she called it, but her mother's name was _Ma_.

"Pa?" she tried tentatively, and her Ma nodded.

A feeling that was faintly familiar stirred inside of the little girl, and with another encouraging nod from her mother she turned her head towards the man who was carrying her. On its way her gaze fell onto the colored beads, and she reached for them.

"Pa," she repeated, scrutinizing the little items.

Sully's heart skipped a beat upon hearing this special word said by his baby daughter.

"So she learned to say my name?" he asked, not able to conceal his excitement.

His wife's reply, however, hit him like a gush of ice-cold water. She looked straight at him when she retorted, "She said it the first time the day her father abandoned her."

Michaela heard a few gasps from behind her but she didn't care. She didn't want to discuss her marital problems in bright daylight though; that was why she announced, "I have to get back to the clinic."

"I'll take care of Katie," Brian instantly volunteered and Sully saw his chance to make amends to his youngest children.

"We could take her fishin'," he suggested, and when Brian didn't respond he added, "And we could talk."

Brian shuffled his feet uncomfortably. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to be alone with Sully. On the one hand he was terribly mad at him but on the other hand relieved beyond measure that he was back.

Eventually he raised his head searching the advice, or maybe it was rather the permission, of his mother.

"That's alright, Brian," she said softly, sensing his inner battle. "It's a beautiful day for fishing."

So as to relieve the pent-up tension, Elizabeth clapped her hands together. "That's settled then," she said. "Rebecca and I will finish our packing and Daniel and Matthew can help us carry our luggage to the train station."

After both men nodded at her in agreement Elizabeth turned to Sully. "Our train leaves in three hours. I expect my grandchildren to wave me goodbye. Will you be able to make that?"

"Sure," Sully replied. "No problem."

He gazed at Michaela, hoping she'd look at him again but she had already started towards the clinic. Heaving a silent sigh he gave first his daughter, who rested quietly in his arms, and then Brian a strained smile.

"Let's go," he said, starting towards the woods.

xxx

No one could remember having such an awkward silence during supper like they had that night. The tension seemed to materialize as a cord that choked everybody, making it difficult to swallow even the tiniest bite.

Michaela eventually gave up on her effort to eat and carefully placed her cutlery next to her plate. She was determined to find out about Sully's plans so she could make her own.

She looked across the table to where Sully sat at the opposite end and enquired, "Did Dorothy ask you to take her to Cloud Dancing?"

Surprised that she actually talked to him, he gazed back at her. "Yeah," he replied, not elaborating though.

But he didn't have to for Michaela knew his answer to her friend's request anyway.

"When will you leave?" she wondered in a non-committal tone, lifting her cup to take a sip of her tea.

Brian's fork clattered on the table when Sully not immediately responded.

"But ya just returned home!" he exclaimed, pushing his chair back so it fell onto the floor as he got up abruptly. "Sorry, Ma," he apologized to Michaela and then ran for the stairs.

"Brian!" Sully called after him, "I ain't goin' right away, maybe only next spring."

Brian stopped with his foot on the first step, turning back. "But you're still gonna leave again," he accused, staring at the man who'd told him only a few hours ago when they were fishing that he would always be there for him.

Sully shifted on his chair so he could make eye contact with his son. "Miss Dorothy asked for my help, Brian," he started to explain. "It's a long and dangerous trip; I can't let her go alone."

Yet Brian only huffed and stormed up the stairs.

"Well done, _Pa_." Matthew emphasized the last word in a way that it was clear it wasn't meant as a term of endearment. He glared at Sully as he rose as well and followed his little brother to calm him down.

Hoping for help, Sully looked at Daniel who sat at his right side yet his friend only frowned at him and shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"I ain't gonna leave again," Sully insisted, growing defensive when he saw Michaela's expression that revealed she didn't believe him.

With growing discomfort Daniel realized that it was time for him to say good night. As if she'd read his mind, Michaela rose from her seat and lifted Katie out of her high chair.

"I'll tuck Katie in," she announced.

"How 'bout I do it?" Sully immediately got up from his chair, too.

Without looking at him, Michaela shook her head. "Not tonight. It might upset her."

Sully didn't argue. With his gaze following his wife and daughter, he slowly sank back onto his seat. Only when he heard the door opening and closing upstairs did he turn back to his friend.

"I really messed up this time," he murmured as he let himself fall against the back of the chair.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "And yet ya are the luckiest man on earth."

"How's that?" Sully was surprised. He didn't feel lucky at all.

"'Course despite what ya did, they still wanna have you around," Daniel replied matter-of-factly and got up. "See ya in the morning," he added, already on his way to the door.

Half an hour later, Michaela and Sully sat at their opposite ends of the table again. Michaela hadn't spoken yet since she'd joined him, and when the silence began to become too overwhelming, Sully cleared his throat.

"I know you're mad at me," he began and stopped when Michaela looked up from her cup she'd clutched between her hands.

"Mad?" she said, her tone disbelieving. "I'm beyond being mad, Sully. You hurt me."

For a moment they stared at each other, both remembering that she'd used these words before. Referring to that the memory, Michaela continued, "But this time it is worse for you hurt the children, too. Brian thought it was his fault that you left, that he hadn't been good enough a son to you. How could you do that to him?" Her tone had risen a notch and she caught herself, not wanting to wake the children upstairs.

Using that pause, Sully quickly assured, "I talked to him this afternoon. He knows now that this was only about savin' Cloud Dancin's life."

"Was it?" Michaela asked quietly, looking at him directly.

"'Course it was," Sully responded feeling his defensiveness returning. "What did ya expect me to do? Just sit idly and watch him die?"

"That's not what I expected, Sully." Michaela stayed calm. "I expected you to talk to me. Together we would have found a way to help Cloud Dancing."

"Can't ya understand? It was far too dangerous; I wanted my family to be safe!" Sully sounded almost desperate now, willing her to see that he'd only meant well.

But Michaela knew better. She had had enough time during the nights she'd lain awake to think everything through. "You took Robert E. into your confidence. What about his family?"

For a moment her argument disarmed him and he didn't know what to reply.

Sighing, Michaela shook her head. "As long as you are not able to admit the true reason for you leaving me out it is useless to talk further."

"What true reason?" Sully grew agitated. "I thought the less ya knew the better. I only wanted to protect ya!"

"That's a lie," Michaela's voice became louder again. She pushed back her chair and got to her feet. "And I'm tired of being lied to. Good night, Sully."

She didn't look back at him as she ascended the stairs.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Left alone at the table downstairs, Sully was suddenly aware that the walls around him bore all the weight of the upper floor. The load seemed to compress the air in the room, stifling him. As cold sweat began to cover his brow the instinct to flee urged him to run out of the house. He only halted at the fence that separated the yard from the corral before the barn. There he paced back and forth running his hand through his hair.

He wasn't sure what Michaela expected him to say. He'd never been good with words; that was why he'd adopted a lot of the Cheyenne's sayings. They expressed his thoughts in perfect, because short, lines.

This time they wouldn't work though.

Looking up at the house he took in its structure, remembering the joyful feeling of anticipation he had on the day he finished it shortly before their wedding.

There had been no joy at the table tonight.

Suddenly he became aware that there was light in the master bedroom. A flicker of hope soothed his racing heart, and without thinking twice he rushed into the house, secured the doors, turned down the lamps and hurried upstairs.

The room was empty though; Michaela had only prepared the bed for him. The quilt on his side was pulled back, inviting him to lie down while her side was untouched. It was apparent that she had no intention of spending the night in it.

Of course he hadn't expected her to come back into his arms right away but he'd hoped at least for some talking. The disappointment he felt was all-consuming; how could he make amends when Michaela avoided him?

Still standing in the doorway Sully shifted and looked towards the stairs. Complete silence emanated from the other rooms along the dark hallway, and the panic he'd felt earlier threatened to return. It had been almost three months since he'd slept in a house, and he already desperately missed the spaciousness of the outdoors.

He would, however, stay inside, no matter what. His children needed to see that he belonged to this family as much as their mother. His heart had ached when his daughter acted at the Café as if he were a stranger. All afternoon he had done his best to elicit a smile from her, yet only after Brian helped him did he succeed.

It had taken some time for his son to warm up to him again, too. Only after several sincere apologies and the assurance that he had never intended to leave for good was the boy ready to talk to him. However, Sully could sense the still lingering anger and hurt in Brian, and that was why he was determined to spend the night in the family's home.

After quietly closing the bedroom door behind him Sully turned up the lamp on Michaela's nightstand, taking in the room. It seemed smaller than he remembered it yet lacked the coziness it had always provided. He didn't have to think about the reason for the latter. Michaela wasn't here. She didn't sit in front of the mirror brushing her hair and going through the events of the day with him before she would crawl under the covers next to him.

Sighing, Sully lifted the leather string with the beads over his head, hanging it over the bedpost. For a moment, he stared at the pattern he'd carved in there, recalling the argument he had with Michaela when he'd polished it in order to get the bed done in time for their wedding.

He'd been miffed because he thought she'd joined him for another attempt to convince him that he'd wear a wedding ring, and she usually got her way when she was so persistent.

She wanted to talk about Matthew and the old homestead though, and in his bad mood he'd set her straight that there were certain things a man had to decide on his own. She'd glared at him and retorted that it was the same for a woman and had ridden off.

He'd looked after her and now he remembered that he couldn't help but admire the strong posture she'd kept, even her back telling him that she had the same rights like he.

Thinking about it now he realized that over the time she'd lost this fierceness. Even when she disagreed with him and was angry about what he'd done, in the end she always supported him. Not only that, she also used to clear up the mess his actions left behind. It had been her who was put into jail because he had insisted on helping the Mexican Indian to flee from the reservation. After the incident because of the dam it was only thanks to her asking Matthew to investigate further that his punishment hadn't been much harder.

Sully admitted to himself that unconsciously, he'd expected Michaela to do the same this time.

Sighing again, he turned down the lamp before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the rocking chair. He could still smell the soap on his skin after the bath he'd taken in the creek. It was as unfamiliar as the fresh sheets that were waiting for him, and for a moment he considered sleeping on the floor. But if Michaela found him there in the morning it would give her the wrong impression, and he didn't want to add to her doubts about his intentions of staying at home.

After he'd opened the window wide, Sully slid under the cover. Even though he was sure he wouldn't be able to fall asleep in the bed, his body quickly proved him wrong. It instantly embraced the comfort of the soft mattress and relaxed completely. Without noticing Sully drifted off right after he'd rested his head on the pillow.

xxx

The next morning, Sully was up early. He walked around the property, taking stock of the things that had to be done. Fall was close and he wanted to make sure that the homestead was ready for the rain and storms to come.

He was surprised to find the pile of firewood already high; it would last for the first cold weeks. All fences were fine too, so only the house and the barn were left to look at.

He began with the latter, inspecting the walls and what he could see of the roof first because he didn't want to wake Daniel. Yet then he heard his friend's voice from inside and so he entered.

Tending to the horses Daniel didn't notice Sully and jumped when he heard the quiet, "Mornin'."

"Hey," he replied as he turned, still holding the brush in his hand.

There was an awkward silence before Sully said, "Uhm, I wanna thank ya for keepin' an eye on the property. Everythin' looks fine."

Daniel shrugged, "That's alright. And I can't take all the credit 'cause a big part of the work was done by Brian."

Reading in his friend's face the guilt about leaving his tasks to others, especially to his son, Daniel added quietly, "He's a good kid and he adores Michaela. He just wanted her to know that she don't have to worry 'bout anythin' out here. I had to slow him down quite often."

Sully nodded. Averting his eyes he shuffled his feet. "Yeah, that's him," he acknowledged.

No more words were exchanged but both finished the chores together. When they eventually returned to the house they found it full of life already.

Brian was on all fours in front of the fireplace, pretending to be a horse for Katie. The little girl giggled happily as she rode on his back, patting his head wanting him to go faster.

Michaela on the other hand stood at the stove turning the sizzling ham while she instructed Matthew what to put on the table.

Hearing the door opening she glanced over her shoulder shouting, "Brain, Katie, get ready for breakfast!"

Not much later, when all were gathered around the table, Brian didn't even take a bite before he looked at Daniel who sat across from him.

"I saw your bags at the fence. You're gonna leave?" he asked, anguish clearly audible.

Daniel glanced at Michaela who had put down the spoon she was feeding Katie with because this was news to her, too.

Turning back to the boy he explained, "I ain't gonna leave town, only your barn. When Sully arrived yesterday I looked for a room and found one in the new boardin' house."

"So ya'll stay around?" Brian persisted not disguising his hope.

This time, Daniel glanced at Matthew, who gave him a small nod, before he replied, "Your brother asked me if I'll take his job as sheriff. Provided that the town council agrees, that is. If they hire me, I'll stay."

"Great," Brian beamed, beginning to eat with hearty appetite.

Michaela, however, looked back and forth between Matthew and Daniel, waiting for them to elaborate.

Taking the clue Matthew explained, "Mr. Bley said I got potential, that I could make a good lawyer. He recommended me to his friend in Denver." He paused before he continued, looking at Michaela imploring for her to understand, "I'd really like to give it a try."

Although this came out of the blue for her, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what this meant for the daily life of the family, she retorted immediately, "Of course you will go. This is a splendid chance."

She smiled at him, not able to prevent some tears from brimming in her eyes though. "I'm so proud of you, and your mother would be, too if she were here now. But we will miss you."

"Denver ain't so far." Matthew was relieved that everything was out in the open now and resumed eating.

Sully had followed the conversation quietly but now he chimed in asking Daniel, "Shouldn't there be an election?"

Matthew answered this question yet turned to Michaela, "We'd hoped you'd convince the town council that they'll do it like they did with Kid Cole some years ago 'cause otherwise we might get Hank as sheriff."

"Hank?" Michaela and Brian asked in unison, gazing at Matthew in disbelief.

"Yeah." Matthew couldn't help but grin. "He tells everywhere he'd proved he's the perfect sheriff 'cause he'd rescued ya."

Shocked, Sully jumped in again, "Rescued ya how?"

Michaela averted her eyes, picking at the scrambled eggs on her plate. Although Sully already knew that O'Connor had stomped on her hand she didn't want to tell him how it happened. It was too painful a memory.

Fortunately Brian came to her rescue. He put down the biscuit he was eating and shifted on his chair so he could directly look at Sully.

His voice was quiet and he didn't sound like a child when he reported, "O'Connor came to the clinic and threatened to shoot me and Katie if Ma wouldn't tell him where ya are."

Brian stopped as his Pa's eyes grew wide at hearing this. Fixed only on his son, Sully swallowed dryly before he asked hoarsely, "Threatened ya?"

Brain glanced at his Ma for reassurance. Knowing that it could help him to talk about it she gave him her permission with a sad smile. Daniel and Matthew, however, exchanged a concerned look. How would Sully react upon learning what had happened? They hadn't told him that the children had been included into O'Connor's wrath against him and his wife.

Turning back to his Pa Brian told what had happened, not able to hide the tremble in his tone when he relived the minutes of horror. "He put first his gun at Katie's head and asked Ma where ya are. When she said she didn't know he cocked the gun that was still on Katie. I yelled at him to leave her alone; and so he put the muzzle on my forehead…" His voice trailed off as Sully rose abruptly from his chair.

With his heart hammering a staccato against his ribs Sully paced back and forth, running his hand through his hair repeatedly. He'd never meant something like that to happen. It was already unbearable to know that Michaela had been hurt but it was worse learning what his children had to go through because of him. How could he ever make it up to them?

Suddenly changing his direction he stopped next to Brian's chair, crouching down so he was on the boy's eye level. "I'm sorry, son. I really am. I can't thank ya enough for looking after Katie."

"It's alright," Brian said blushing with pride. Yet then he remembered he wasn't done with the story yet. Picking up where he had left he continued as if there hadn't been a break, "Since Ma insisted she didn't know where ya are he took her to the army camp. He kept her really long and I was so worried. I didn't know what to do and when Mr. Bray and Hank asked me what's wrong I told them. Hank ran straight into the camp and came back with Ma a few minutes later."

Sully rose to his feet, turning towards his wife, requiring quietly, "Was that when O'Connor broke your hand?"

"Yes," was all Michaela retorted not willing to go into detail. She rather resumed feeding Katie who had started to babble and impatiently stretched for the spoon lying on the table.

Sully didn't speak again during breakfast, only when the others were about to get up did he look at Michaela asking quietly, "Can I talk to ya for a moment?"

After ten minutes Brian, Matthew and Daniel were on their way to town and Sully helped Michaela to clear the table. He wasn't quite sure how to start but he needed her to know that he was willing to do everything in his power to make amends for putting all of them in danger.

Once there was nothing left to put away he cleared his throat. When she looked at him he began, "I can't say it enough how sorry I am, Michaela. Ya know that my family means everythin' to me and…"

"I know," Michaela cut him off as she went to the highchair, lifting her baby daughter out of it. "But it's not this family that holds your heart," she added matter-of-factly.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Still stunned by her words Sully stared at his wife. She looked back at him, yet her gaze was neither accusing nor defiant. It even lacked anger or hurt but for a split second it showed the kind of sadness that runs so deep that it isn't reachable for anyone from the outside.

Then the moment was gone, which was actually worse for Sully than the knowledge that he'd inflicted her pain. The times when she'd hidden her true emotions from him had lain in the far past, and with a clearness he'd never experienced before he realized that the strong bond that had connected them was cut. For the first time he felt the chill of the fear that he might have lost her.

Desperately he searched for the right words to get through to her but all he could muster was a contradiction that sounded lame even to him, "That's not true! I love you!"

Michaela bit on her lower lip as she averted her eyes and looked thoughtfully at Katie. Their little girl was pulling at the upper button on her blouse, totally consumed by this task and unaware of what was going on between her parents. Michaela almost smiled seeing the intensity of her daughter's interest. It was for her and Brian that she had made it through the last months. She wanted for both of them to have a father but she wouldn't take any chance that they were hurt by him again. For that, she needed to give Sully the chance to redefine his life.

Eventually looking up again she said softly, "I love you, too. That is why I'd like you to consider what is most important to you; how you really want to live your life."

The request instantly neutralized the relief that her confession provided.

Not knowing what to think Sully asked, "What… what're you sayin'?"

Although she had mulled this over time and again it was difficult for her to voice her resolution. But she did.

"I want you to make a decision about where you want to live from now on."

Seeing his uncomprehending expression that quickly turned into deep anxiety she hurried to explain, "Ever since you turned down the job at the Yellowstone National Park you've changed. It began almost imperceptible but you withdrew from me and the children more and more. Even more so once you started working for Preston, which you hated but still did because you felt you owed it to the family. You felt you had to earn money."

Michaela shifted Katie in her arms and swallowed hard, but before Sully could stop her she continued, "I obviously didn't pay enough attention to your needs so to a certain amount is what happened my fault, too. I won't repeat this mistake. I don't want to see my children suffer again because their father is unhappy."

Sully winced as if she'd slapped him yet Michaela wasn't done yet. "If you come to the conclusion that you can find fulfillment only at Yellowstone then I'll understand and support you. The children could visit you there. I'll also accept if you'd rather live with Cloud Dancing at the reservation…"

Growing more and more apprehensive Sully interrupted her, taking a few steps in her direction, "I don't wanna live anywhere else. Here's the only place I wanna be."

Michaela sighed. If Sully had looked at her the way he did now before he sent her through hell, his intense gaze would have convinced her of his sincerity. But this time she needed a lot more than that, and even then she would still hesitate to believe his words.

She considered him for a moment before she again posed the question he hadn't answered honestly yet, "Why didn't you tell me what you planned to do?"

Letting out a long breath, Sully ran his hand through his hair. Avoiding her eyes he looked out the window trying to collect his thoughts. He knew if he reiterated his reply about his being concerned for their safety this wouldn't be welcomed. He was in serious trouble and not able yet to think clearly for he was still stunned that she thought he didn't want to live with her and the children anymore. Fearing that anything he would say would be wrong anyway he gave up and shrugged, looking almost helpless, "I don't know what you wanna hear."

Usually, Michaela's temper would flare up at such a reply but she recognized that Sully didn't want to provoke her.

Carrying Katie to her playing rug she gently suggested as she put her down, "Here, Sweetheart, why don't you build a tower? Your Pa and I have to talk, alright?"

Whilst she straightened, the little girl picked up two wooden blocks and happily banged them together. Letting her gaze linger on the playing toddler, Michaela contemplated how much of her thoughts to give away. She didn't have to think long: she demanded honesty so she had to give it as well.

She sat down on her chair and didn't protest when Sully pulled out the one next to her.

For a long beat she looked at her clasped hands in her lap before she lifted her gaze to him. "You didn't tell me because you knew I would stop you. But you didn't want to be stopped. You wanted to get Cloud Dancing out of the reservation and help the others flee as well. You wanted to do that so badly that you didn't think about anything or anyone else."

Sully opened his mouth to immediately protest yet closed it again. Not because of the way she looked at him, allowing the hurt to surface, if only briefly. He didn't reply because he realized that she was right. In fact, he'd known it all the way but had refused to think about it.

He wasn't ready though to admit that out loud but he didn't deny it either.

For now, that was enough for Michaela but she still owed him an explanation. That was why she continued, seemingly straying from the topic, "You lost your parents and your brother when you were still a child. You ran as far away from the place where it happened as you only could. But you made yourself a promise: you would build a new family. Then you met Abigail and were happy with her for six long years, even more so when she carried your child."

She paused for a minute when she saw him clench his fists in anticipating of what she would say next. Yet she didn't spare him the pain; he needed to hear this.

"You lost them both and your world crashed," she went on, her voice quiet and even. "You didn't want to live anymore, and if Cloud Dancing hadn't found you, you would have died, too. But he healed your body and along with it your soul. Like a father he taught you about how precious Life is. Like an older brother he guided you through this newly won world. The Cheyenne became your family, and you have never been more at peace with yourself as you had been then."

Again, she gave Sully time to digest her words. In the background she heard Katie's babbling before the blocks tumbled down onto the rug. She hoped her daughter would build another tower she could pull down because there was more she needed to say. When her little girl didn't call for her but continued with her playing, Michaela turned back to Sully.

He'd only waited for her to look at him again. He could guess now where she was heading but he would show her that she was wrong. "Yeah," he agreed. "But then you came along and everythin' changed."

"No," Michaela interrupted him, "Nothing had changed. You even once told me that you didn't want to change, and I should have listened more carefully. But I fell in love with you, and you and I first hoped and later believed that we could look past our differences. But then your Cheyenne family was destroyed, too. Cloud Dancing was the only one left, and you never recovered from that blow."

Not a single muscle in Sully's face betrayed how hard it was for him to hear it all again. But he continued to listen because he needed to understand his wife. Only then would he have a chance to make it up to her for the previous months.

Her quiet voice carried him further through the last few years, "But you still had the chance to make your dream come true: build your own family and I think we did really well for a while."

She smiled shyly, even blushed the way that made her irresistible for him for it showed her vulnerability and instantly woke his instinct to protect her.

Sensing his impulse to touch her she quickly rose from her chair and stood behind it, gripping the top of its back tightly. "And yet it didn't even take two years for you to decide you'd die rather than continue the life we were building together."

Her tone had changed drastically, as had her expression. The mix of hurt and anger on her face was underlined by a bitterness he hadn't heard from her before.

"Michaela," he said getting up as well. "That ain't how it was," he tried to placate her.

"So how was it?" she demanded, raising her chin challengingly.

With both their voices growing louder they captured Katie's attention. The little girl could only see her mother and instinctively recognized the tension radiating from her posture. Instantly, all cheerfulness left the toddler and she frowned. Then her lower lip began to tremble and a sniffle announced upcoming tears.

Before they could fall, Michaela scooped her daughter up. Settling her on her hip she soothed, "It's alright, Sweetheart. No need to worry."

As she brushed a wisp of blond her from the small brow she turned back to Sully. Seeing that he felt miserable about having upset his daughter she softened and allowed, "You might see things differently, but that's how I feel. You didn't think about coming back, you only contemplated the best way to leave without alerting me."

Sully felt like a fish out of water for he knew she was right. He still insisted though, "I never wanted to leave you for good. I just had to do this. I…"

"I know you had to, Sully," Michaela responded, gently rocking Katie who began to fuss again. "That is why I want you to take the time and make this decision. When you have a family you accept responsibilities, but when you feel your responsibilities lie somewhere else, then I won't stop you."

With that she grabbed her medical bag from the table. "I'm expecting Loren for his appointment," she said as she turned to the door. "I need to get to the clinic."

xxx

As soon as Michaela had closed the door behind her, Sully sank on the next chair. It frightened him that her words had hit home. Not that he judged their situation the same way but he could easily follow her train of thought, and right now he wasn't able to provide other explanations for what he had done.

However, that wasn't what he had to think about now. Of course he wouldn't abandon his family; there was no question about that. Not the tiniest doubt tempted him to consider a life without Michaela and the children; he had already missed enough about Katie's growing up. There was so much he wanted to show and teach her together with Brian. He wasn't willing to miss another minute of her life.

But he also knew that he couldn't go on the way he did before. Michaela was right; he had responsibilities that included providing for his family. He needed to find a permanent job, a job that would allow him to make a difference in the world. When he'd turned down Welland Smith he'd told Michaela what Brian had made him see: that if he wanted to fight, he should do it for the land they were living on. The land where they had become a family, where his daughter was born.

Of course he missed his Cloud Dancing; in fact he already missed him terribly. He could use his advice right now for he had no idea of how to convince Michaela that he was certain that their family was what he wanted.

It was time to grow up and find a solution on his own.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Michaela's hand trembled as she reached fort the patient file on her desk. All her composure from earlier had left her. She knew though she had done the right thing, and all she had to do now was wait for Sully's decision. If he would leave, she would manage. Somehow she would; after all she'd done it before. Maybe she should move back into town even though she was sure that her sons and Daniel would take care of the property. However, she didn't know whether she really wanted that. They had their own lives.

Rising from her chair she turned towards the window, looking out with unseeing eyes as she continued contemplating her situation. What if her husband decided to stay? Taking this path wouldn't be any easier. Would they ever be able to live as easily together as they once had? How could they after all that happened?

Letting out a long sigh she called herself to order; she was getting ahead of herself. One step at a time should be her motto, no matter in what direction her life would go. Sitting down again she pulled the file towards her, her hand steady this time.

A sudden knock, however, threw her instantly off balance again. She needed to take a deep breath before she called, "Come in."

After some more thinking Sully had experienced that the saying was true: it was easy to make up your mind but quite hard to live with your resolution. Not that he had second thoughts, but after inspecting the roof he found that it needed some repair which meant he had to buy supplies. That had reminded him that money had already been a serious issue before he left, and now he couldn't help but wonder how Michaela had managed to supply for the family and how she still did.

His initial thought had been talking to Daniel; after all, his friend had saved them before. After thinking twice he knew though that this would be the wrong move. Michaela and he were the heads of their family, and so he went to town after writing a list of the things he would need.

Now he was standing before the clinic door and was nervous. How often had he heard Michaela beckoning him in? He couldn't remember but he was sure he had never had such weak knees upon hearing her voice like this time.

One reason for his anxiety was a little black box in his trouser pocket. As he was searching for writing paper he'd opened the upper drawer of her desk at home and instantly recognized the small container lying there for he had bought it two years ago. After their wedding Michaela had put it away to a back corner, saying she didn't need it anymore for she would wear her ring for the rest of her life. She'd beamed at him as she said that, radiating pure happiness.

But now the golden band was back in there.

Of course he'd noticed that it was cut open, and he knew the reason behind it, but he wondered why she'd never let repair it. Had she already come to terms with their marriage? Even when he stayed? There was only one way to find out and he eventually pulled open the door, entering the examination room.

"Hey," he said, instantly trying to read her expression.

"Hello, Sully," Michaela replied, hoping she seemed composed.

She clasped her hands and put them onto the open file, which was her way of attempting to keep herself together.

Sully's eyes were instantly drawn to the slender fingers. "Your hand alright again?" he asked, his voice hoarse. It was beyond him how any human being could deliberately stomp onto something so delicate.

Following his look Michaela stretched and bent the fingers of her left hand, quickly assuring, "Yes, yes. It's almost as good as new. It only needs some more practicing so the last remains of the stiffness will vanish."

Her gaze lingered on the spot where her wedding ring was supposed to be, and as she took a mental note that she should send it to a jeweler her world stopped turning for a split second for only now did she realize that she hadn't given up on her marriage. Yet.

She glanced at Sully who seemed far away with his thoughts. She couldn't know that he was thinking about the very same thing. The fist in his pocket released the small box as he decided he'd make sure Michaela's wedding ring got repaired. She'd said she still loved him, and he would do anything necessary that she put the golden band where it belonged: on her ring finger.

Catching her eye he gave her a half smile. "I was wonderin'," he began but then dried up, not knowing how exactly to formulate his question.

"Yes?" Michaela asked, sounding like the doctor who encouraged her patient to tell her about the details that were bothering him.

"Uhm," Sully cleared his throat. This was ridiculous – Michaela was his wife! Pulling himself together he at last said, "I was wonderin' how we handle things at Loren's. Do we still have an account there… I mean… Does he still give us credit? I need supplies for some repairs at the homestead."

Michaela didn't reply right away. Money had always been an issue between them and she wasn't sure how he would respond to her news. But he had said _we_, and she hoped that meant he wouldn't argue about her decision.

"Mother gave me a part of my inheritance in advance," she said, watching him carefully as she waited for his reaction.

It wasn't easy for Sully to take this blow. Looking down at his feet he ran his hand through his hair, momentarily at a loss for words.

"That's what families are for," Michaela said softly knowing that Sully was trying to swallow his pride. "In a time of need they help each other."

Sully knew she was right and a new wave of guilt swept over him. He hadn't done anything but causing trouble for his family lately.

"I'm sorry," he said lifting his head again. "I didn't mean to…"

Yet Michaela stopped him, "Our financial problems began the minute I had to burn all my things at the clinic, Sully. It wasn't your fault."

She wasn't sure how many of his apologies she was still able to take. She knew that he was now regretting what he had done but that would only help if he drew the consequences.

Sensing her beginning irritation Sully quickly returned to his original problem, "Alright, I'll ask Loren to put the costs on our account then."

"That's fine," Michaela nodded.

Without noticing she furrowed her brow as she mused whether Sully wanted the repairs to be done because he would depart soon or if they were simply necessary. Sully, watching her intently, sensed her thoughts. Actually, he was astonished that she hadn't requested for his decision yet.

"I ain't gonna leave you and the kids," he said quietly but with sincerity hoping he would elicit a smile from her with this statement.

Yet the vertical line between her eyebrows deepened as she searched his face. It was only a few hours since she'd asked him to make up his mind, and she was surprised to hear he'd already come to a conclusion, especially this one.

"Are you certain?" she asked, not taking her eyes from him. She'd once thought she was able to interpret his expressions but now she doubted this ability.

"Sure I'm sure," Sully retorted, hoping she would finally start to believe him. "I've made a promise to you two years ago, remember?"

Michaela heaved a silent sigh; she had feared something like this.

"Sully," she began, attempting not to sound exasperated, "I know you always try to keep your promises. But I think you've made a few too many. That is why…"

"You're wrong." This time it was Sully who cut her off. His patience began to crack as well. But since he knew he was responsible for their problems he didn't lose his temper. There was something he had to make clear though. "I can have a family and a friend. Nothin' wrong with that, ain't it?"

"Of course not!" Michaela abruptly rose from her chair, not facing Sully though.

She turned towards the window again, crossing her arms before her chest. As much as it hurt to have this conversation, she had to get through with it.

Contemplating how to explain her doubts she absently watched the men on the saloon porch. Hank was there too, leaning against a post in his typical way, cigar between his fingers. Now he was throwing back his head, laughing loudly about something Jake had just said to Loren. Obviously the barber had made a joke at the old man' expense. Hank loved to tease her as well and not always in a friendly way. Lately he'd given up on that and this pity hurt her more than any biting remark could do.

She wanted her life back, and for that it gave only one way: she had to get to the heart of the problem she was struggling with.

Pivoting she faced Sully again. Tilting her head lightly she took in his handsome features, the intensity of his blue eyes watching her every move. Her pulse began to quicken and for a second she feared she couldn't go through with this confrontation, yet for all their sakes she had to.

"What would you do if Cloud Dancing came to the homestead tonight requesting your help?" Much to her astonishment her voice didn't quiver as she posed the question.

Sully frowned. He didn't know where this was leading but he replied honestly, "If he'd come all the way from the Northern Territory it must be somethin' important. I couldn't deny him my help."

Michaela gave him a small nod, "Of course not."

As she continued looking at him Sully concluded she expected to hear more. Quickly thinking he added, "Then I'd tell you and made sure…"

Michaela couldn't explain why, but hearing this she lost her composure and bitterness resurfaced when she interrupted him, "You mean this time you wouldn't lie to me?" Her voice grew louder with every word she hurled at him. "Have you any idea of how it feels when the one person you trust with your life prepares his leaving right under your nose but pretends that nothing is wrong? When he claims that all the horses on the pasture of _our_ home belong to Robert E. while in reality you bought them for the Indians so they could flee? And what was I supposed to think when you left without a word? I searched the entire house for a note from you but of course you had more important things on your mind than telling your family goodbye."

She had to stop at this point for she needed to breathe again. Looking at her with growing concern, Sully noted the red patches on the skin that covered her cheekbones. He was glad that she finally let her anger out but feared at the same time it might become too much for her.

"Hey," he said gently laying his hand onto her shoulder, "You alright?"

"No, I'm not," she sniffled, angry with herself for getting carried away.

As she took one step back, he dropped his hand but waited patiently for what else she wanted to say.

A knock at the door that led to the hall startled them both but Michaela relaxed as Becky entered the room, carrying her baby daughter in her arms. The young woman must have heard at least a part of her yelling for she looked embarrassed when she said, "This little one here thinks she's slept enough…"

"Thank you for your help, Becky," Michaela smiled genuinely as she went over and took her daughter from her. "Will you have time tomorrow as well?"

"Sure, Dr. Mike," Becky replied, "but I gotta go now."

"Bye, Becky," Michaela said waving her hand as she looked at Katie so she would mimic this gesture. The little girl gave a single wave but then threw her arms around her mother's neck, snuggling as close to her as possible.

Resuming her place at the window Michaela looked up at Sully. "What I wanted to say is that I understand your love for Cloud Dancing. I do. I am not envious or jealous or anything like that. But I won't be able to take it again when you put this love over your duty to our family one more time."

Looking at his wife and daughter Sully's chest tightened, knowing how close he was to losing them. "I'll never make such a mistake again," he vowed. "I know I can't take away the pain I've caused but I'll do my best to make it up to you. I promise."

Shifting her daughter in her arms Michaela considered him. She knew he meant what he said but she had one more objection. "I don't want you to stay with us because you feel guilty. If that's the reason for your decision you will hate us one day for you will feel we kept you back from the things you really wanted to do. I couldn't bear that."

"Hey," Sully said, his voice betraying his emotions as he dipped his head to search for her eyes. "I stay 'cause I love ya and I wanna see Katie grow up and teach her things. Same goes for Brian."

Michaela looked down, biting on her lower lip. Tears threatened to fall but she wouldn't allow them to spill over.

"There ain't no maps," Sully remembered the words he'd once told her when they didn't know how to find their way together. "But if you're willin' to set off without one…"

Of course Michaela remembered, too. Lifting her head she looked into his eyes when she repeated her words from back then, "I am."

As her tears began to fall she added though, "But I don't know how to trust you again."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

That night, on her way to bed, Michaela paused in the middle of the hallway. She had already passed Katie's room but now her legs simply refused to comply. They didn't carry her on to the master bedroom but kept her frozen in place. As she heard Sully ascend the stairs behind her a never known fear arrested her on the spot, and while cold spread through her veins her palms grew sweaty. She literally jumped as she heard Sully's voice right next to her.

"Ya alright?" he asked concerned as he noticed her pale complexion.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine," she hastily assured still not moving, and whilst she spoke she realized that she couldn't spend the night with her husband. Not yet.

"I'll sleep with Katie. Good night, Sully." With that she turned towards their daughter's room, trying not to run as she approached it.

Sully didn't argue. Sharing a bed had never been a duty or a habit for them but the need to be close to each other. He knew Michaela wouldn't be able to return to his side until he would have won her trust back.

It was a very long night for both of them. Michaela didn't know what had been wrong with her out in the corridor, and that scared her even more than the physical discomfort she'd experienced. While her mind didn't rest until she found the explanation Sully tried to figure out what to do that his wife would see he was there for her and always would be.

The next morning he met her in the yard on her way back to the house. She'd obviously been milking the cow for she carried a bucket half full with milk. He didn't ask her whether she'd slept well because the dark rings under her eyes gave him the answer.

"Mornin'," he only said as she reached him.

Much to his surprise she paused before him and greeted him as well, "Good morning, Sully."

She didn't sound distant or cool or angry but totally normal which encouraged him to suggest, "If I sleep in the barn tonight ya could use our bedroom. It's more comfortable than that small cot."

Stalling for time Michaela put down the bucket. She knew she had to tell him what she'd found out about herself last night. It wasn't easy for her to admit it because it brought back the feeling of humiliation. She had no choice but be honest though.

As she straightened her back she looked up at him explaining, "It is not you in the room; it is what happened in there." Seeing his uncomprehending expression she elaborated, "I can't get that picture out of my head how you lay awake once you'd made up your mind about Cloud Dancing, how you waited until Katie and I are fast asleep so you could sneak out and go to the reservation."

Her expression that had been calm till now showed a mix of hurt and sadness when she continued, "You waited for us to be as vulnerable as one can be: we couldn't ask you to stay nor fight your leaving. We were defenseless. I just feel that I'm not safe in this room."

"Nothin' like that'll happen again," Sully instantly promised, running his hand down her arm.

Although she slightly flinched at his touch she didn't step away. "You never know," she smiled sadly at him as she picked up the bucket and resumed her way to the house.

Shame wasn't a strong enough word for what blended out all his other emotions. Sully clearly remembered the first time when he'd secretly left the house: how he'd pulled the blanket a bit higher for his sleeping daughter so she wouldn't get cold and how he'd bent down to kiss Michaela goodbye. Later he didn't even take this time anymore but only waited until he could ease out of the room without it being noticed. But maybe even worse was that he usually lay at her side in the morning again for her to think everything was fine.

Sully swallowed hard as he acknowledged there was no other word for what he'd done than _betrayal_.

Without thinking he hurried after Michaela, forgetting that he'd wanted to take care of the horses. Fortunately Brian and Katie were still in their rooms so he went straight to the kitchen where she was filling the milk into a pitcher.

He didn't say he was sorry although he was, but this phrase simply didn't suffice anymore. Instead he went straight to the heart of the topic, "You're right. With everythin' ya said. I lied to ya, I left without a word. I had only savin' Cloud Dancin' and helpin' the other Indians on my mind. I just didn't think; I acted on what I was feelin' but…"

The longer he spoke the more he realized _how_ right Michaela was with her sight of things. He could see it in her face that she understood all his reasons for what he had done and always had. That didn't take away his neglecting his family's needs. He'd split the unit they'd created after their marriage; there was no _us_ anymore.

He didn't make it better when he at last helplessly concluded, "I finally wanted to do somethin' useful again."

As the words left his lips Michaela's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly yet she didn't reply. There was nothing left to say, and she could tell by Sully's expression that he knew that the least he should have done was talk to her. No matter how justified his desperation had been it wasn't an excuse for going behind her back.

Sully had but one choice left - place his hopes in the great healer _Time_.

xxx

Business in Colorado Springs was long back to normal. Looking at it from the outside the same could be said about life at the homestead. A few weeks after Sully's return the days held the familiar routine again. Michaela worked at the clinic, having Katie with her. Brian went to school, did his chores and played with his friends. From time to time he accompanied Sully into the woods for fishing or looking after the traps. The two of them seemed to have re-established their old relationship.

Sadly, the same couldn't be said about the one between Sully and Matthew. Right after Daniel had been appointed to sheriff by the town council Matthew went to Denver in order to meet with the colleague of Mr. Bley, his grandmother's lawyer. When he returned, he'd taken a room next to Daniel in the boarding house so he could help out as deputy if necessary. The rest of his time he spent buried in the books the lawyer had borrowed him, yet he still met with Michaela for lunch at Grace's as often as possible. Their relationship was stronger than ever.

Michaela knew better than trying to convince her oldest son for a heart-to-heart talk with Sully. If he didn't do it of his own accord it would be useless anyway. However, it still pained her to see the deep-running rift between the two men who had once been so close. It was hard for her that she couldn't do anything to help, but they had to work through this alone. Apart from that she had her own demons to battle.

Every night she made an effort to break through the invisible wall that kept her from reaching the master bedroom, and every night she stopped at the same spot. It was as if all the fear she'd kept inside for so long started pouring out of her every pore once she neared her former sanctuary's door: Her heart started to race, cold sweat began to cover her skin and dizziness demanded her lying down. She always turned to Katie's bedroom to do so.

As far as Sully was concerned, he did his best to show his family that he was back in their life and had no intention to change that. He'd received an answer to his letter from Welland Smith who'd recommended him to some people in Denver. Sully met them a few times, and in the end he began to work for the mining commission of Colorado. His knowledge about the territory was highly appreciated; it predestined him for judging and surveying the areas that were to be sold to mining companies. This way he could do what he'd always wanted: help to protect the land. He loved his new job, and much to his joy Michaela was genuinely pleased for him. It didn't change her sleeping habits though.

xxx

One evening in October, during dinner at the homestead, Daniel talked with Sully and Brian about a hunting trip they'd planned for the upcoming weekend whilst Michaela quietly coaxed Katie into eating some peas. The atmosphere at the table was relaxed but changed drastically when suddenly a birdcall from the outside was heard. Michaela and Brian both tensed on their chairs, exchanging a look Daniel couldn't read. Sully, on the other hand, was already on his way to the door and hurried out without hesitating for the tiniest moment.

"What's wrong?" Daniel asked concerned, looking from Michaela to Brian.

"Cloud Dancing is back," she said neutrally, not wanting to think about what that meant.

Baffled, she watched how Daniel immediately rose from his seat, taking his hat that had hung on the back of the chair next to him.

"Where are you going?" she asked not quite able to suppress the quiver in her voice.

"I'm the sheriff, Michaela," he reminded her. "I don't wanna arrest Sully's friend but I'll have to if I stay."

"But Sully will want you to meet Cloud Dancing," Michaela protested. Quickly thinking about a solution she frowned and then said, attempting to smile, "This is a family dinner. I'm here as Michaela and not Dr. Mike so you could simply be Daniel, Sully's friend and not the sheriff."

It was too late for Daniel to avoid the Indian anyway because Sully already led him in. "Look who's here," he beamed, happy to be reunited with his brother and finally able to introduce him to Daniel. Sully's smile dropped though when Brian glared at him.

"So ya gonna leave again," the boy stated rather than asked as he got up in order to retreat to his room.

Cloud Dancing hadn't been aware of the full impact that Sully's helping him had made on his family, but he instantly understood what Brian's anger was about.

"The spirits told me my help will be needed. That is why I came," he explained in his usual calm tone.

Brian stopped in his tracks, not daring to believe yet. "Sully ain't gonna leave?" he asked in a small voice.

Sully's throat tightened as he recognized that nothing was mended between him and his son and probably never would fully be. He was determined though to do his best to make Brian see that he loved him unconditionally.

"Hey," he said as he went over to him and laid his hand soothingly on the small shoulder. He bent down for eye contact when he asked, "Remember when we talked 'bout the train comin' to town?"

Slowly, Brian nodded.

"It's the same with roads: ya can travel them to get out of town but they'll also bring me back to you."

"Alright," Brian said somewhat grudgingly but the corners of his mouth curled up slightly.

During this exchange, Michaela greeted the medicine man with sincere affection, "I'm happy to see you look well, Cloud Dancing."

The Cheyenne smiled yet his eyes betrayed his worrying, "I'm sorry I can not return this compliment, Dr. Mike."

Michaela blushed slightly and turned her attention back to Katie when Sully introduced his best friends to each other. Right afterwards Daniel left, promising to send Dorothy to the homestead. Being reminded that it was dangerous for the medicine man to be seen, Sully took him to one of his old lean-tos where he and Dorothy could meet.

That night, Michaela didn't even try to pass Katie's room but went straight in. She didn't know yet that she would leave the house in the morning and not return to it for more than three weeks.

_Epilogue_

Michaela was beyond exhaustion when she sank onto the chair behind her desk with a soft sigh. Matthew and Daniel had carried the furniture back into the clinic now that there hadn't been new cases of diphtheria for a few days. The epidemic was over. Only a few patients still occupied the rooms upstairs, and all of them were on their way to recovery.

She could finally go home and see her children again.

She'd sent them to the homestead with Daniel as soon as she'd diagnosed the Bartlett boy with diphtheria, knowing that children were easy targets for the disease. Sully had written her a letter in response, telling her not to worry; he would take care of their son and daughter.

And so he did. Since she had her hands full at the clinic Daniel kept the connection to her family, with the firm advice though not to get in physical contact with them.

While Daniel wasn't able to provide good news from town to his friend he never came back to Michaela with empty hands. He didn't only bring little notes from Sully and the children but also remedies from Cloud Dancing. Although the medicine man had never encountered diphtheria, he still knew that an infusion made from the bark and berries of a tall shrub called Prickly Ash could help to keep the swelling of the throat down. That was why he sent Michaela the ingredients for this tea as well as willow bark tea every day. Like during the days of the influenza, the Cheyenne medicine helped to save lives this time as well.

All her efforts hadn't been enough though. Despite her fighting hard for the life of every single patient too many died. It was emotionally draining to watch mothers losing their sons and daughters and children losing a parent.

The daily messages from the homestead became her lifeline, something for her to hold on to so she could make it through these dreadful days and nights. She knew how lucky she was; she still had all her family.

All she wanted now was to go home.

In answer to her silent pleading the door to the examination room burst open and in stormed Brian. "Ma!" he cried as he ran to her, hugging her tightly. "I missed ya so much!"

Teary-eyed, Michaela pulled her son closer assuring, "I missed you too."

"Will ya let your Ma breathe again?" Sully chuckled as he strolled to her desk, Katie in his arms.

Seeing her daughter Michaela almost lost it. "Sweetheart," was all she could manage as she got up and reached out for the little girl to hold it.

The toddler didn't need to be coaxed to get into her mother's arms. She instantly clung to Michaela's neck and never loosened her grip.

"Ya ready to go home?" Sully asked gently when Michaela eventually looked at him.

"Yes," she breathed trying to control her tears.

"Good," Sully grinned satisfied, "'cause we'll have a big dinner tonight."

"We will?" Michaela raised an eyebrow questioningly. She didn't feel like preparing one and she was sure Colleen didn't either.

"No worries, Ma," Brian chimed in. "Ya can rest till we prepared everythin'."

"Resting sounds like heaven," Michaela smiled as she tousled Brian's hair.

"Alright," Sully said as he began to usher his family out. "Let's go home."

xxx

"I'll go gettin' Ma," Brian announced a few hours later when the table was set.

"Wait," Sully held him back. "Let me."

As much as he wanted to share a meal with the united family he was more concerned for Michaela's welfare. If she was still sleeping soundly he wouldn't wake her; he'd seen the tiredness in her eyes. He would decide what to do when he saw her.

After silently ascending the stairs he slowly opened the door to Katie's room, avoiding any possible noise.

The cot at the wall was empty.

For a moment he stood just staring, not understanding right away. But then comprehension set in, and his heart pumped his blood faster through his veins. Warmth spread through his body, fueled by hope, and with a few long strides he went to the door to the master bedroom, quietly pulling it open.

There she lay on her side of the bed. Turned towards the door her head rested on her right palm, her left hand lying on the cover.

Soundlessly Sully stepped closer and watched his wife's sleeping.

She was back.

His heart skipped a beat, and it was sheer torture to restrain himself from pulling her into his arms. He turned to her vanity instead, picking up a small black box. Opening its lid he revealed her golden wedding band which he'd had repaired by a jeweler in Manitou a few weeks back.

Carefully he put down the open box onto her nightstand, satisfied when she didn't stir. He didn't want to disturb her peaceful slumber.

He couldn't help it though, he needed to touch her. Crouching down next to the bed he ever so lightly stroked with his fingertips over her left hand, the one that had been broken. If he could only take away all her pain…

When his caress didn't rouse her he grew bolder and brushed her brow with his lips, happy to finally feel her again.

Michaela smiled in her sleep.


End file.
